F55
Compromises during sex, what is and isn't acceptable?
December 19 2010
Comments
-
RHP User
15 years ago
There are so many alternatives for the imaginative partner so there should always be a way to work around some one's dislikes or phobias. I had a long term partner who didn't enjoy giving BJs but she had other talents that made up for it. She did give BJs from time to time but I couldn't fully enjoy it when I thought she wasn't enjoying it. Sometimes I though she felt she had to give them as I was always so willing to go down on her but I never expected her to once I knew she didn't like it.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I dont have a list of what I want sexually, what I will not put up with or compromise with. I chat for a while before any intimacy anyway so it is all worked out. If there is no spark of attraction, it fizzes out before we get to meet. The only things I do mention I will not tolerate are those that are painful or humiliating. Most of the people I chat to are okay with that anyway. I dont approach a potential friendship with a list of likes and dislikes that I tick off as I go. I approah each person as a possible friend and try to get to know them first.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Maybe I do comprimise. There are things that I absolutely LOVE having done to me but not everyone is good at it. So I dont know if I am comprimising or comparing. We dont always get to experience that mind blowing sex with every partner but that shouldnt mean that it is a comprimise. Or does it????? xx
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I have mentioned this in another forum, but to be a good versus great lover, I think the key is to be willing to give and recieve, so if he loves getting BJ's, then he must be willing to return the favour with as much effort as it was recieved.... otherwise that is being a selfish lover!! (ooohh, and no-one wants to be one of those, right? lol) If its a casual relationship, I am sure you can come up with other fun things to distract you, but in a longer term relationships, going without something you need/strongly desire sexually can be a real issue, and it will prob cause problems if not addressed - just remember there is often a reason someone won't do something (ie not great past experiences, lack of experience and self confidence), so find out why and see if things can be changed for the better for both parties :)
-
RHP User
15 years ago
From what I can see in your pictures, the bar on "I won't try that" would be set so high that you would need a twin turbo SKA flying above the service ceiling to clear it. Insider's humour for those that know a bit about me. | If you really like the person, it could be that you have simply hit a mental roadblock...something from a past experience that has thrown the "no" switch, so just ask. You may find that it's something like a bit of anexiety about "not being good at that" and the game is on...you have a more than willing student. Could be too that the last few woman put him right off the experience suggested and he was simply not about to say "I wish she had taken time to take a shower" or whatever it was that could be a very easy thing to overcome. Very easy, indeed...or be creative, but just ask. The answers may surprise and delight you. Now then, if you have a spider tattoo down there and he suffers from arachnophobia, you may have bigger issues? | If those things fail, then maybe you just aren't compatible and it would be time to move on. You can teach an old dog new tricks... | ...but they have to be willing to listen.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
The trouble with Text based Chat and Forums is that people can and do read what they want into what is written.Trumper...Great reply.....and Very thoughtfull thankyou.Ritmofish...Negotiation its where its at...you cannot know everything about a person by questioning them.Fionabee...you seem to have misinterpreted what i have asked...Im not talking about Pre-meeeting..im asking about Post meeting.Have you met someone and the sparks fly and then you realize the one thing you love is the one thing they won't do? was the question...you cannot know everything about a person by questioning them.from your post even tho you say you dont,you do have a list. As you will not tolerate are those that are painful or humiliating.I agree that those kinds of practices are not for me either.Sweetipie2010..Thanks for the reply....I understand your position ....but i am talking about Post meetingxxxTicklishxxx.....thanks for the reply...Im fairly certain that we all compromise wether we are conscious of it or not.The mind is an amazing complex organ that can often on an unconscious level direct our behaviours
-
RHP User
15 years ago
In that case we should be fine. I dont think there is one thing that I love above others. No I dont experience the greatest of mindblowing sex with every partner either but then there is the mental connection, the warmth and the touch which is often more important than the sexual act. By the time we actually get to sex, I have , like Sweetpiepie, a fairly good idea if we are going to be compatable or not. I do have a friend whom we spent several months getting to know each other. We pushed all the right buttons and the on line flirt was incredible. Finally we met and the physical side was just a fizzer. We just didnt do it for each other. It was mutual. So... we are great friends, we have both moved on sexually but the friendship is just as close and probably always will be.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Ooooo yes I compromised for nine months on my two favourites.... oral sex and squirting. Hard to believe I stayed with a guy that gave oral for about 2 minutes over nine months and avoided everything that could possibly result in me to squirting. Why did I compromise ? Probably because there were sparks and the rest of the relationship was pretty good (for awhile). What I've learnt from this is that I need to be more discerning in my choice. Great sex is important.... ESSENTIAL. It's up there with good communication and many other factors. I wont be starting another relationship until I'm clear the sex is awesome. I thought with good communication and even commitment we could overcome the sex differences but it never happened. Hugs, Miss Saturn
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Thanks for sharing your experiance..and thats exactly what i Ment when i asked Does it end the Physical side?....Good to hear that your still friends....I doubt that any of us can have that Mind Blowing Sex with every partner ..as we are all intrinsically different despite us having similar likes and dislikesor if you have a partner..i indeed doubt that its Mind Blowing each and every time...as was the case when i had a long term partner...it was always satisfying...and the MINd Blowing was sporadic....and im thankfull it was so.....as i believe you can have too Much of a good thing
-
RHP User
15 years ago
BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER IN THIS POSTThis is not a Post from a bad personal experiance...this topic was an open HYPOTHETICAL discussion with the girls over a few drinksthat i thought would make a great Forum topic and see if the same conclusions were drawnMissSuziWong...Some great Points in your reply thankyou...and so very similar to the views of one if the GirlsChasingMidnight You wrote "From what I can see in your pictures, the bar on "I won't try that" would be set so high that you would need a twin turbo SKA flying above the service ceiling to clear it."You got that ASSUMPTION from looking at my pictures...Its Must be awfull to live an Arrogant Closed Minded Judgemental Life.....But hey thats only an Assumptionfrom looking at your proflie pictureThis is not a Post from a bad personal experiance...its a Hypothetical from my point of view,so i was asking if it had happened to anyone and if they could offer up their views or experiancesMissSaturn.... im sorry to hear that your experiance in relation to the questions asked were not pleasantI do wish you the best of luck in finding the right man for you.On a Side Note.....While i agree that Great communication is the key to any relationship,be it freindship,partnership...whatever-else-ship....Unless you have a fantastic mind that can think of every possible scenario and you question them like the spanish inquisition...I dont think you can get to truely or deeply know someone. Unless you have been Living with and Loving that person over a period of say 30+ years. Even then im doubtful it could be achieved5 More Sleeps Till Christmas....Nudie
-
RHP User
15 years ago
If you communicate well and the sparks fly then you can work around any problems together. I have to admit though, it helps if you know you are sexually compatible before you get together.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
If we are starting with the baseline of "no kids, animals or dead people" all the other stuff is really dependent on the partner you have and how open minded they are and how willing you/they are to try things. In my experience-the more I'm into someone the less inhibited I am and in fact the more daring and open to suggesions I become, in terms of what I will do and what I then suggest we can do-fun when you are with someone just as competitive. All the others are like those seat minders at the Oscars-so the audience doesn't look empty-sorry but it's true-I don't discriminate it's just this level of attraction or desire does not happen for me with everyone. You cannot will it to happen this kind of attraction/connection just happens in the most unlikely of places at the most inconvenient of times-however no matter the circumstances seeming impossible they survive. I'm not talking about-an infatuation or a crush, not an unhealthy obsession-or wanton c*** hunger, I mean a seek them first in a room (as the reality is this is all you see), takes the wind out of your lungs-yet you never felt you breathed before now, heart beats with excitement like its going to burst through your chest, and your soul feels like it's been smacked into awareness kind of attraction between two people-you know they feel the same as most of your clothes and underwear are ruined or in need of serious repair from where they've ripped them off you. As always communication is the key to its success-of going beyond where you've been before...because if they're not talking to you-they may be quite mistaken regarding you, your motivations or intentions at some point in the future. And this could mean they end up going somewhere else looking for something when they really could have had it all at home or wherever the two of you had happened to be. If you can trust them and it doesn't land you/them in the emergency room-why not try it all? I have never understood why anyone would not want to please and satisfy their lover-kind of defeats the purpose of being with another person-if it's all about you-all of the time-have a wank-that's what you're doing-you're just doing it inside another body! *smirk* NymphetamineDrm
-
RHP User
15 years ago
we thought that everything was compromise once you began a relationship? have had relationships with women who didn't like oral, while not a deal breaker (I am an adult) it certainly does change things, but then in fairness, there are things within all relationships that all couples will differ on. I tried to understand where my ex was coming from when she refused to perform oral on me, and found she'd had a bad experience when young that triggered a severe asthma attack, kinda ruined it for her too. wasn't a lot i could do about this so just left it alone. (she saw no benefit in further discussion). as for knowing if you are sexually compatible before getting together, how do you go about that? isn't that something you 'discover' together? we feel that honesty is our best policy. if shel doesn't like something she says so, and its left alone. but hey, we agree on just about everything so its all good so far.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Gosh, Nudierudie2, I didn't realize that this was one of those trick questions...you know the kind, hypothetical and rhetorical, let alone that you were grading our homework? Dang...looks like I got a D- and guess I should not have tried to compliment you. My bad...do I need to go stand in the corner? How in the world did you come to all those conclusions about me from a few pictures of leather jackets and an old airplane? Let me guess...you read the book "I'm Okay...You're Not"? Can I submit another exam paper...or can we get Nudierudie1 to give us a 2nd opinion? Oh let's just skip it...numbers confuse me, especially zeros. Thanks for sharing...keep coming back. Those 12 step programs to recovery are not easy and I admire your courage!
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Before "Sledge Warz" break out in Outer Limits of Lost in Cyber Space television.....what I meant (and maybe you misunderstood the compliment) is that I had looked at your pictures and found you quite attractive. The "high bar" comment was the point at which one might not go over the top, and refuse something in anything...and inverted, but not back handed, compliment. | Apologize if there was a misunderstanding. It must be my accent.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
ChasingMidnight.... (Valley Girl Voice Inflection).....Why hello....( chews gum and Twirls Hair).....I a Woman...Of course its not that simple ..There is no Nudierudie1...for a second OpinionSO how about i regrade that Exam Paper and make that a C....Your reply was taken in good spirits...I was Unaware of the compliment you conveyed...My apoliges Thankyou ......Forgive me for my weak attemp at sarcasum in my earlier post..I should know that it is lost in Text based Chat...No matter how many emotincons you use ..,,,Merry Christams..and Have a Wonderfull New Year..2 More Sleeps to Christmas....Nudiexx
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I was with a man for 12 years and for some reason he felt the need to wash hands and teeth after every experience it made me feel as if i was dirty!!!!!! it was his problem but soon became mine. the sex stopped!sexually at firtst it was fantastic and then the idiosycronies (cant spell sorry) leached in and the turn offs started.and needles to say we are now doing the war of the roses! lol and i am a slut apparenty!!!!! I just love being fucked!!!! but that doesnt anyone is a go - i still choose carefully and even more so now lolThank fully i have met some wonderful guys since and now know that it wasnt me and that it was him! I have also had the magic of enjoying uninhibited sex where body fluids are not a prob!!!!
-
RHP User
15 years ago
yi ha someone has exactly the same opionon!!! I am here to find the right sexually conmpatiable partner over with the I dont do that and I dont like this yada yada yadagive me great uninhibited experimental fun everyday and dont forget the stamina - sorley lacking!
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Isnt it funny how a couple of good (or even great) experiences go a long way in overshadowing the bad. My bad years lasted for 15 and I have thankfully also met some wonderful people on this site and now know that it was not my problem at all but his.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88153
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10231
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2521 Comments: 11665
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9759
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1008 Comments: 5260
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5776
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share