M40 F39

Chemistry VS Anatomy....

September 24 2013

Mrs here. For men, unless the experience is absolutely HORRIBLE, that they will get off either way. In my experience (and talking to other women) unless the woman is confident in TELLING the man what she wants and how she wants it, the fi?st time with a new partner is often a disappointing experience until a few times in when he starts learning what the moans and sounds coming from her mean. My question is two fold...1) is it me or are women of my generation (Y) 'afraid' of telling men what they like and how they want it because they are afraid of being judged? 2) Considering the nature of RHP, are men even willing to stick around for the 2nd or 3rd encounter to learn how to pleasure that particular woman? (on a no strings basis of course...haha)

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RHP User

12 years ago

Rather than the journey. Yes it is easy for a man to cum but I'm not so fussed about that and think it would be sad to judge sex by the amount one comes. I think for me it is more about the journey rather than getting solely to a particular destination and seems there is more and more pressure to come a certain number of times. Yes it is hot to make your lover come and a sign of sexual satisfaction but my question is does sex always have to end in climax. Can you both just enjoy the journey rather than both reaching the massive climax and going separate ways or is sex just for an orgasm and therefore inseparable? I for one don't mind seeing a woman over and over again to learn what presses her buttons. Love it if she comes but making her happy rather than rubbing something raw is my ideal- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

12 years ago

Hey Leish, this is Nick so it's from my perspective... I think with question 1 you are pretty much spot on and maybe afraid we will think less of them? Couldn't be more wrong as far as I'm concerned a women who knows and says what they want is a huge turn on and let's face it guys just aren't good at figuring out what women want without help lol. The 2nd question is interesting, for me the second, third and as many repeat times as possible are the best by far! In reference to your opening statement I can't get off unless the women is totally enjoying it, (I could never go to brothel etc) I know this gets said a lot but for some guys it's absolutely true so getting to know what buttons to push and or being guided is what I like. I'm sure others will agree :-p

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RHP User

12 years ago

Interesting........why would you be afraid of "being judged" I wonder , just for being assertive enough to say what does it for you in bed ? I'm of an older generation , which is possibly why I have reached a point where I think it is imperative to tell a guy what you like. If he's not interested in taking instructions , then he is selfish and doesn't care whether you get off or not , hence he does not deserve to play with you. As you say , some men on here probably are only after the 'once off' encounter , so don't really care. The question is - how do you weed those ones out beforehand ? The best / most rewarding sexual experience I've ever had (lasted for almost 3 years) was with a guy I met online and to whom I described in great detail in emails prior to meeting , exactly what works for me in bed and what I'd like him to do. Lucky for me , he paid expert attention to what I said and followed it to the letter . Voila !!! Fantastic sex. It goes without saying I hope , that I also asked him exactly what worked for him too. So OP - please don't be afraid of "being judged"......whatever that means. Own your sexuality and embrace the right to seek exactly what you want from prospective partners.........you deserve it. Tell them........if they show little interest in wanting to know how to please you...........move onto the next one , they don't deserve to enjoy your company. I don't know if it's a generational thing or a personality thing. God forbid women are getting less able to embrace their sexuality........they shld be getting moreso !!! Cheers and Good luck being assertive !!

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wingman2014

12 years ago

I had a first meeting with some one I found I had a real connection with . And the whole thing went horribly wrong . I didn't understand what she was feeling as she had not been with anyone for a while. And she had a distinct lack of self confidence when face to face . It was not an experience you would want to repeat in a hurry. So I didn't call back. A few months later we met by chance and the conversation eventually moved to what went wrong that day . We ended up deciding to try one more time. And I'm glad we did because it was AMAZING ! Some times people are shy or reluctant to show their true selves right at the beginning so taking a bit of time can be extremely rewarding for all. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

12 years ago

Well I can only speak for myself but for all the reasons you describe if there is an explicit "no repeat encounters" I don't bother anymore ... I've realised that I need the 'connection' and 'chemistry' more than I thought I would to make a worthwhile go of it. I found it difficult to get right stone cold the first time especially when you've never actually met before.My gen Y experiences are limited to those at one end of it but I would agree that younger lovers seem less likely to communicate openly about exactly what they want ... that could be a human condition related to confidence and maturity rather than a generational peculiarity.Having said that part 2 of your question is intriguing .. it is not so much a matter of being willing but whether you get a free pass back to the front of the line ? Are your offers being turned down or is this a hypothetical proposition ?You're a good looking young woman so let me ask you ... with so many willing and eager suitors are you prepared to persevere with someone who doesn't get it right the first time or is it simpler and easier to just move on down the list ?

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RHP User

12 years ago

That's why women over 40 are so popular, generally we know what we like and aren't afraid to ask for it. You too, may find your stride after 40- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

12 years ago

This is closely linked to the Teach Me thread isn't it?Can't speak for the women not telling men what they want... maybe they are embarrassed or maybe they just think they shouldn't need to tell us.I love the feedback... if I don't see a squirm or hear a moan I prompt for something (trying to be coy if possible so as to not break the mood). Communication is awesome!As for return events... if I'm crap the first time round I'll be more than glad to try again... and again... and again... practice makes perfect even if it is a NSA meetup... there can be more than one try in a night can't there?

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Chemistry VS Anatomy....

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