F59
Cheer up with a funny or two
September 12 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have a sick sense of humour, you probably don't want to hear it, T Yesterday? Um.... mostly censored, but something that *really* made me laugh was listening to a song called "Can't Sleep, Clowns Will Eat Me" by Alice Cooper. Thanks to the person who sent me the link :PHave a listen, it's hilarious If you really need a laugh, try NotAlwaysRight.com or mylifeisaverage.comIf you need a laugh at someone else's expense, go for FMyLife.com
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RHP User
14 years ago
...or make anyone jealous MistressT....but I can still fit into the earrings I wore at High School.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
That made me laugh. I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to piss off. Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I wrecked at least a dozen homes today . Got rid of all the cobwebs around our front window at work
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RHP User
14 years ago
"He is cute"Me: "He is NOT cute""Small things are cute"TMI!!!!!!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Slowly putting the weekend behind me. Some people should not be motorsport officials!! GGGGGRRRRR!!Thanks for making me smile.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'd give you a hug but my arms just won't reach!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Maybe you need a pitcrew of rhp women to show the boys how it is done MistressT...and to tease the shit out of the officials
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RHP User
14 years ago
Run away with me... | Quoting 'MistressT' GGGGGRRRRR!! | ...I'm a sucker for a woman dressed in leather that can make motorcycle noises and has almost as may 500 meter spools of silk rope as I do. | We'll be back in a week. You can drive.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' Maybe you need a pitcrew of rhp women to show the boys how it is done MistressT...and to tease the shit out of the officials I will have T-shirts made for you all with "Pit Crew" in big letters on the front but with the P crossed out and replaced with a T.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Run away with me... | Quoting 'MistressT' GGGGGRRRRR!! | ...I'm a sucker for a woman dressed in leather that can make motorcycle noises and has almost as may 500 meter spools of silk rope as I do. | We'll be back in a week. You can drive. I would be there as fast as my WRX could get me there Midnight!
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RHP User
14 years ago
MT I would wear my t-shirt with pride Now just have to find me some pits to put in it
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RHP User
14 years ago
.....and I suppose we could let midnight boy come along to distract the female official...he can teach her the ropes so to speak
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RHP User
14 years ago
nice one Ruby
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RHP User
14 years ago
midnight boy can rope the female official in,bind her up and read her the racing rule book...you know,dazzle her with his 'verboseness'.That should be enough to make her think twice next time she crosses MistressT
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RHP User
14 years ago
He can give them a nice big ..................earful . runs and hides now lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
as part of the TitCrew, MistressT would expect us to be strong and stand up for ourselves.........not run away and be a woosie girl...I bet you can lick him!.ahahahahahahahahaha(just had to throw in an Earl laugh there! )
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tamworthguy46
14 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT'Slowly putting the weekend behind me. Some people should not be motorsport officials!! GGGGGRRRRR!! Thanks for making me smile. Now mistress T....don't freaki'n start me on farkin part time motorsport officials. petty, annoying, once a month officials," that don't get any sex, and take it out on the drivers..get one alone for me Mistress.....and I'l tie em up real good for ya !!!!!.....and get that sandpaper paddle, and pump up butt plug ready........" evil laugh ".......hooooooheeeeehaaaaaaaaaa ! Ummnnn ...Love Tam...lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
I was blowing a guy yesterday and his hair got in my mouth and it was still attached to his head and he was standing. That's new for me.:D
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78'I was blowing a guy yesterday and his hair got in my mouth and it was still attached to his head and he was standing. That's new for me. :Dthats bloody funny
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T' MT I would wear my t-shirt with pride Now just have to find me some pits to put in it Good one.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' .....and I suppose we could let midnight boy come along to distract the female official...he can teach her the ropes so to speak As long as he gags the b*tch first!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' I was blowing a guy yesterday and his hair got in my mouth and it was still attached to his head and he was standing. That's new for me.:D You ladies are on a roll....!
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RHP User
14 years ago
few mates and I got into the hardstuff on the weekend we were out at the greek club when someone opened the domestos went right through me
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'd be happy to be in charge of Team MT Racing and look after the TiT Crew in the Pash Pit...I'll keep these little girls busy whilst you are burnin' laps. | Quoting 'ruby_blossum'...not run away and be a woosie girl...I bet you can lick him! I've got hats for both of you, and considering that about the only mechanical device that you can operate with any competence is made by Lelo and not Subaru...I'll assign you menial tasks when the hot rod slips into your pit. One says "Fluff" and the other "Puff"...I'll let you ladies pick | RB you just lean down by the tires and when you're there...take that thing that's sticking out in your mouth and blow. They only call it a suck job...it's really just manual labor. | DGT you are on refuel. Just grab your nozzle, shove it in the hole and start pumping. You're right, it might be just as efficient to strap it on your waist. Hey, can you light my cohiba while your at it...never mind I've got my Zippo right here. | Now as for this official, notice the one that has been run up the flagpole screaming "You win...you win" over there? Seems I found a skyhook in the Tit Crew tool kit. Problem solved. | Now as Head of the TiT crew in the Pash Pit....I'll also handle the lubrication, so bend over Fluff and Puff. Don't worry...the 55 gallon drum is loaded with Slippery Stuff. Valvoline recommends that your chassis be done every 3000 miles and it's you two...I just hope we have enough, over use and age deteriorates even VR1. | Ladies and gentlemen...start your engines.
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RHP User
14 years ago
...you are there to gag the b*tch official ,dazzle her with you verboseness......then hoist her up to flagpole .I am sure MistressT already has some wonderful, engine rev head female to run her Tit Crew....she may let you parade next to the car before the warmup lap.Maybe Jean Gerard and Stalky can also join the eyecandy brigade too...(JG needs to be in his usual bonnet of car up 'uniform').It may surprise you to know...I do know my way around a car....I just changed my registration sticker.
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RHP User
14 years ago
total recall and the cutie from Tamworth in the car parade brigade as well..I take it thats ok MistressT ?
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RHP User
14 years ago
I guess if you have Puff and Fluff as yourTiT crew, MT you can just figure that you're screwed before the key goes in that slot thingy and you step on the speedy up pedal... | Quoting 'ruby_blossum'I do know my way around a car....I just changed my registration sticker As the official tire inflater, RB...you will find them located on the ground near the four corners of the car. Don't worry if they look just slight flat on the bottom...it's impossible to make them look like that on the top too. | As for the other one....I can hear it now "Oh no...I might break a nail, just put feathers in my hair". Rumour has it at the local servos that she gets them to pump her...go figure. | Oh well...back to the race. Never let the rats win.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sounds like you lose your sense of humour when the tables are turned midnight boy...Not a good switch hey....lol.At least I know how to poke fun at myself
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RHP User
14 years ago
Don't make me break a nail CM, and just for the record I only let the young hottie pump me at the servo is so that I can stand back and check out the goods from behind ahhhhh that's it....yesss, yesss, yesss pump it !!ohhhhhhh .
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RHP User
14 years ago
...they will make wonderful grid girls! They can walk around looking sexy in next to nothing in sponsors clothes.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT'...they will make wonderful grid girls! They can walk around looking sexy in next to nothing in sponsors clothes. I'd personally like to see a greasy handprint or four on Tams tooshy
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RHP User
14 years ago
I actually lost interest in cars when the V8 bad muthas started being replaced by these go go machines. Nothing quite like the sound of nice Turbo Charged 351 Cleveland purring away with an Edelbrock on top cranking over 10:1 pistons on a Crane cam. Nice kind of rumble... | Quoting 'ruby_blossum'Not a good switch hey.... | ...and no need to grumble. Just put the popper switch on the right side of the shift lever and we're sweet. A little shot of nitrous... | ... and we're all laughing at top speed.
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RHP User
14 years ago
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve sodas and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Jeese, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."
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RHP User
14 years ago
My breasts were referred to as cute. 'cute tits' First time in my life, I swear to god.xx Sarah
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' My breasts were referred to as cute. 'cute tits' First time in my life, I swear to god.xx Sarah Mine were refered to as redonkulous ... I was quite taken back
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT' Quoting 'ruby_blossum' Maybe you need a pitcrew of rhp women to show the boys how it is done MistressT...and to tease the shit out of the officials I will have T-shirts made for you all with "Pit Crew" in big letters on the front but with the P crossed out and replaced with a T. that is all i've got geez, i wish i was funny, i am one of those people who can NEVER EVER recall even one joke. All of the above is top class, i am impressed already
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RHP User
14 years ago
Midnight's t-shirt should have a huge letter P on it, and made obvious that he is part of our extended crew The P stands for the obvious, someone needs to be the Petrol boy, surely? nah still stinks... i'll end my short career here i think
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'BoobaliciousFG' Midnight's t-shirt should have a huge letter P on it, and made obvious that he is part of our extended crew The P stands for the obvious, someone needs to be the Petrol boy, surely? nah still stinks... i'll end my short career here i think I'm thinking Pit budgie smugglersP on the right side T on the left side and your imagination in the middle
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Total_Recall' Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' My breasts were referred to as cute. 'cute tits' First time in my life, I swear to god. xx Sarah Mine were refered to as redonkulous ... I was quite taken back An FWB and I were showing each other our fav porn vids and i as you do, you say what you like and what you don't and i just made the comment nah don't like her boobs and he sorta got offended on her behalf and said, not EVERYONE is blessed with big boobs. WTF?? is he for real?! Maybe he had a thing for her opps is a bit of a pornaholic and he had his girls! All i meant was that i preferred the previous girls ones... i am not sizest/boobist!!! i do however feel that certain boobs look like they need to be sucked and cared for all day and others just don't have that allure... i woulda just given her boobs a bitof a squeeze and a kiss and moved on to find something else to eat...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'tamworthguy38' Quoting 'MistressT'Slowly putting the weekend behind me. Some people should not be motorsport officials!! GGGGGRRRRR!! Thanks for making me smile. Now mistress T....don't freaki'n start me on farkin part time motorsport officials. petty, annoying, once a month officials," that don't get any sex, and take it out on the drivers..get one alone for me Mistress.....and I'l tie em up real good for ya !!!!!.....and get that sandpaper paddle, and pump up butt plug ready........" evil laugh ".......hooooooheeeeehaaaaaaaaaa ! Ummnnn ...Love Tam...lol After that laugh I haven't got a lot of confidence in you knowing how to use those devices. How about we just make you look pretty and your job can be to cheer the tit crew on with a few "hoooo heee haaaa" look no bra! *groan* dammit, i think it might give us all a big smile, but no laughing ....crap crap crap
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RHP User
14 years ago
If 3 people are called a threesome and 4 people are called a foursome, why do they call you handsome?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'BoobaliciousFG' Quoting 'Total_Recall' Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' My breasts were referred to as cute. 'cute tits' First time in my life, I swear to god. xx Sarah Mine were refered to as redonkulous ... I was quite taken back An FWB and I were showing each other our fav porn vids and i as you do, you say what you like and what you don't and i just made the comment nah don't like her boobs and he sorta got offended on her behalf and said, not EVERYONE is blessed with big boobs. WTF?? is he for real?! Maybe he had a thing for her opps is a bit of a pornaholic and he had his girls! All i meant was that i preferred the previous girls ones... i am not sizest/boobist!!! i do however feel that certain boobs look like they need to be sucked and cared for all day and others just don't have that allure... i woulda just given her boobs a bitof a squeeze and a kiss and moved on to find something else to eat... Big or small - anything with a nipple, I'm on it - but cute is for boy nipples or kittens. and I'll smother the first person who makes a puppies reference.xx Sarah
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Total_Recall' Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' My breasts were referred to as cute. 'cute tits' First time in my life, I swear to god.xx Sarah Mine were refered to as redonkulous ... I was quite taken back This i gotta see...
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blackwidow69er
14 years ago
when i stop pmsl i might be able to reply you ppl crackin me upa friend told me my boobs are big enough to feed a small african nation ffs there not that big or i dont think they are
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ever heard of the two TV antennas that met, fell in love and got married?The wedding wasn't anything special, but the reception was excellent.
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tamworthguy46
14 years ago
How do you tell a Aussie Gentleman from a Average one ? Answer...the Aussie gentleman, gets out of the bath to piss in the sink ! Yay....!!! Tam
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RHP User
14 years ago
I was sitting in my office today talking with one of the bosses, and out of the blue one of the workers walked in, Looked at the boss and said, "Have you ever seen a Cunt (sorry about that) wrapped in plastic" The boss, with a shocked look on his face said "NO" the worked then said, "Well you better get out you licence, and have a look" It made my day....heheh Tall xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
A guy opens his door and to his amazement comes face to face with a giant cockroach, the cockroach starts beating the living crap out of him without a word, then leaves him in his doorway covered in blood n bruises. The poor guy takes himself off to the docs in his battered state, The Doc takes one look at him and asks, "What the hell happened to you?" poor guy replies, " I had the living shit beat outa me by a giant cockroach" Doc sits and nods knowingly....."Hmmm yep, there are some nasty bugs going around at the moment"
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RHP User
14 years ago
walks into the Psychiatrists office for his appointment wearing absolutely nothing but a pair of shorts made from cling wrap!!! The Psych holds up his hand and says, "No need to tell me you're crazy young man, I can clearly see your nuts"
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tamworthguy46
14 years ago
Dave was soon to marry mabel.....he expressed his thoughts to dad, that he wasn't verry experienced sexually, and was rather worried about satisfying mabel on their wedding night ! Dad told dave " That's easy" just do what i did and practice on the hole in the old oak tree out the back ! After 2 weeks of practice every day .....Stalky....erm I mean.....dad said to dave I've been watcing you and I think your ready ! On the wedding night, dave and mabel go up stairs.........Ten mins go by.......Dad hears Mabel SCEAMING !!!!.....Dad runs up to the room....Opens the door.......??? " what the fuck are you doing dave ???? " he shouts " and ther's dave, shafting Mabel with a broom handle........Dad said that's not the way to do it son !!!! Dave said...." I'm just going to make shure Ther's no Goannas in this one Dad " Tam
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am not into car very much but I have a mate who is a driver, and just got contracted by Stone Brothers and we did hotlaps around the back of cooroy.......................fuck it was fun and shit that bloke can drive...................
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RHP User
14 years ago
I was reading everyones comments just before... and had a good chuckle, especially with Boobalicious when you wrote you can never remember jokes.. me too - I feel your pain!But then I came across Giggle Cream (dont ask, I was random surfing the net)... but I had to know more....giggle cream 1. Canned whipped cream with nitrous oxide as a propellant. Origins: Coined on the advertisements in the radio stations in the PS2/PC video game, "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City" Giggle cream! Because dessert SHOULD be funny.Seemed appropriate ... sponsorship for the TIT racing team!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Is that the game where they pic up hookers and other peeps and have their way with them? OMG these video games are something else, so nitrous sales have gone down have they? kids need to be reminded that cream ain't the only joy nitrous can offer!! I am wondering how they can advertise that..? People can certainly do some funny stuff on nitrous... But they tend to not remember just how much they shamed themselves from those frozen brain cells!! Random lol!! :s
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RHP User
14 years ago
Best compliment I have received in some time:"You are champagne in a goonbag world" <--- made me smile Sex. Sex is hilarious. If you can't laugh at sex, well.... let's just say I've got myself into trouble more than once by spontaneous fits of giggles in the heat of the moment Still can't figure out why guys find it so.... deflating...?
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RHP User
14 years ago
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says.... W T F
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RHP User
14 years ago
A general store owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear veryshort skirts and thong panties.One day a man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at theloaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (orgeneral lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread, he has abrilliant idea."I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says politely. The femaleclerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which islocated on the very top shelf. The man standing almost directly beneathher is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would.Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get twoloaves as he is having company for dinner.As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other malecustomers notices what was going on. Thinking quickly, he requests hisown loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With eachtrip up the ladder the young lady seems to catch the eye of another malecustomer.Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread, just to seethe clerk climb up and down. After many trips she is tired, irritatedand thinking that she is really going to have to try the bread herselfFinally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at themen standing below.She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd staring up at her.Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yoursraisin too?""No," croaks the old man, "but it's a quiverin".
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RHP User
14 years ago
Heard from a radio announcer: "My father was the world's greatest magician. He would walk down a crowded street, lots of people standing all around staring at him and then suddenly, right before their unbelieving eyes ... he would just turn into a Bar!"
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RHP User
14 years ago
Stupid motorsport officials notwithstanding, I finished a rather pleasing 11th in the championship which has also cheered me up.Looking forward to the start of a new championship next year and also seeing how I go in the race car. Bloody-minded officials better stand well back behind the barrier....heh heh heh heh
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