Changing sexuality - from lesbian to bi?

June 12 2011

Hi, just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and what you did? I was with guys when I was late teens, early 20's but always wondered if I was gay. After my first experience with a woman I knew I was lesbian and spent over the next decade exclusively with women. Over the past couple of years I have started thinking and fantasising about men alot. It makes me nervous as I know most of my lesbian friends would disown me if I came out as bi rather than lesbian. I've been chatting to a few guys but one in particular who I have started getting quite keen on. We are hoping to meet up this week. He knows that basically I am a bi-curious lesbian (as in curious about being with guys rather than the other way around). I'm looking forward to it but also a bit anxious. I'm pregnant (through a fertility clinic) and its really been since I was around 8 weeks preggo that my desires to be with men has got to the level that I have started to take them seriously. I'm wondering if it's just the pregnancy hormones and maybe after I have the baby I will be lesbian again? Anyone been through anything similar?

Comments

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    firstly if ur lesbian friends dump u if u come out bi they r not true friends, friends dont care bout other friends sexuality. secondly have u ever thought u were bi the whole time? thirdly at bout 8 weeks preggas ur hormones are running rampant, when i was 8 wks i wanted to fuck anything that moved ull get over it as soon as the hormones settle down...good luck with ur pregnancy xx

  • RogueGeek

    RogueGeek

    13 years ago

    Everything bunny said. You don't answer to anybody except yourself, and if you want to explore being with guys then why not? Cheers, MS (the female half)

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    That's fascinating. No it really is. I'd say your hormones are ruling and there's nothing wrong with that. As usual, with questions of sexuality, we lead with out heads instead of our libidos. I think that's the issue. Always was... always will be.HugsStalky

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Hello bigregfun,I see you haven't had many responses - well I imagine your situation is very unusual, so what to say? I suppose you could equate it to all sorts of cravings women have during pregnancy, such as pickles and ice cream - well you know what I mean. Something you crave during pregnancy but stops cold the minute your baby is born. I say indulge in your man fantasies if you can. Why not, if it makes you happy for now. And like many other mothers out there you can look back one day and laugh at the crazy cravings you had when you were pregnant. As Stalky says this is very interesting. Wonder if it happens a lot. Good luck with everything!!! xxMeeka

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Yep it's cock o'clock

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Then comes... | Quoting 'AllNiteAllLucid'Yep it's cock o'clock ...sex thirty. Half past so grab a light meal and go again!

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I always knew I liked girls, dated them exclusively until I moved overseas and became a rice queen. Am more than happy to chat about figuring stuff out. But in a nutshell, like stalky says, sexuality is fluid. If something turns you on? Go with it, enjoy it, don't think about it too hard :-) and screw anyone who gets their knickers in a knot because you wanna touch a penis or two. Anyone who judges you on this isn't willing to get to know you as a person, so why would you consider bumping uglies with them? x

    - Posted from rhpmobile

  • QLDtwo4fun

    QLDtwo4fun

    11 years ago

    If you have a partner, if you do its probably something best discussed with them too. Some cultural groups accept sexuality as fluid, I think we should too.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Seems the OP hasn't been on the site in a long time.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Nana alwsys said why miss out on half the population ??? If there true fiends they will accept anything you decide regardless of there sexuality

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I have a friend I made through another adult site in similar life cricumstance to you. (Member on here as well - If you read this hun I promise not to let people know who you are unless you want me to) She spent all of her teenage and adult life till last year as a lesbian, had a child with another woman years ago and then started playing with couples a year or so ago. Well I hope I got that right as it's the way I understood it. She met and fell in love with a man and now lives with him as a bi woman. We never got to play because her new man doesn't like her to play with couples and she respects that so we are non play friends. As far as I know none of her gay women friends have abandoned her and messages she gets on FB from friends seem to be all positive and happy for her that she is in love and living well. Go with your gut feelings OP and just enjoy yourself. It doesn't matter who or what gender you are with so long as they treat you well and you are happy in the process. Do what pleases you and not others so long as nothing you do hurts others. It's just sexual preference and if you like both men and women then what could be better as you can enjoy the best of both worlds.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I had the opposite when I was pregnant even though I'm straight with a male partner I very vivid and hot dreams about women.... I have discussed with other people and apparently they had similar dreams when preggers too.

  • Playful2looking

    Playful2looking

    11 years ago

    Sometimes gays can be straight if you get my drift ... liitle boxes being a bi guy people would often wish you would pick a team and bat for that side and be either gay or hetro. sorry cant take sides

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    bipreg....just enjoy both sides, .no analysing required. Dont worry e happy

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    Hi there...

    I knew I liked girls young and by 15 id had my last boyfriend. I slept with one guy when I was 16 in an ffm with my girlfriend, but by 18 was fantasizing about men during masturbation. It wasnt something i could talk about; the girls i knew were mostly gay and being bisexual was looked down on. Bi girls were judged as sluts, or just using women til they found a guy, or too unreliable. To sleep with a guy was almost traitorous. I couldnt broach the topic. I was already aware I was a sub; I fantasized about being dominated by a man. I even allowed a master to become my mentor... only to find he attempted to manipulate me emotionally into actually becoming his submissive fully.

    I was curious, but I was very reluctant to engage as i was unsure of how you would go about saying no if after foreplay i didnt want to continue.... particularly as I wanted a dominant man and in light if my experience being pressured

    At age 21 I actually went as far as to begin working in a dungeon, a place I knew didnt permit sex between client and staff, a place where the rules and the other women provided me with the perfect "excuse" for not taking it further. I lost the understanding and acceptance of my peers for my foray into bdsm well before this, but having the nentorship of a master, and then selling mysrlf in a dungeon ended it altogether. I was ok with that; the incestuous scene they belonged to, filled with constant cheating and an inability to embrace open or non-monogamous relationships but an equal lack of fidelity disgusted my sense integrity. And I was swept up in discovering bdsm, a scene in perth far too small for any of us to consider secuality stratifying else there woildnt be enough people to attend a party let alone a ticketed event.

    It turned out I really liked playing with men, but it was another 2/3 years before I exchanged numbers with a client and went home with him and did it all the way. He was great, a top in the bedroom but never pressured me for more. I slept with a few guts after that, even after I married a woman, but after divorcing her at aged 30 I began to sleep with more men than women. Let me say that I had a whole lot to learn; about how guys worked, thier bodies and thier minds. And boy did I learn, about men but also about myself and sbout women. I wouldnt change it for the world and I think I got more of an understanding about women from guys, and from seeing my own behaviour with them than I did from women.

    I find that emotionally its incredibly easy for me to be with men. I cant love them: I have power in that I know emotionally thry are always at a remove. Simultaneously I get my ego stoked, snd my body pleasured. I find them more upfront, honest and they to date have never broken my heart. For casual FWB, they provide a safe and disposable source of sex.

    Ive found I tend to chase bisexual women, Im not sure if its because they are more liberal and accepting of my lifestyle or because I have intimacy issues. It turns out a lot of my favourite sex is FFM, both while I dont have a gf and definitely while I do. I dont kmow that I lost anythingvwhen I changed scened that I would have kept being a kinkster, but I gained a lot through experimenting. I foundca far greater understandibg ofbhalf the population and i really cant imagine my life without the influence and presence of my straight male friends and fuckbuddies, who seemed to be kept or to keep themselves away from the gay scene. I still call myself a lesbian... who likes cock... and i still have to justify myself sometimes, as often now to the lesbians as to the guys.

    I guess my advice is to experiment in relative private til you know what you want to do; its no ones business who you sleep with but why deal with anyone else's issues until you know if its something you want to let change your life. But dont be afraid to experiment; it would be as sad to miss out on men for lack of trying as it would have been to miss out on women. And to do some research first: they arent as simple as they seem and they arent the people to ask for advice; your health and happiness (and thiers!) are easier to lose than to achieve.

    I wish you the best of luck, and the best of fun, in one world or in both.

    - Posted from rhpmobile