Can there ever be a happy ending?

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  I recently meet someone socially first (as is my rule)...decided upon meeting them that it wasnt going to go any further and did tell them this. At the time this person took it well but afterwards I was (and am still) receiving messages saying I am a slut, followed by that Im up myself and out of the blue that the said person was horn - yeah? so?   Some peolpe take rejection well others dont but I still stand by telling them straight up that they just dont do anything sexually for me. I would rather gently let someone down and hurt their feelings in the process than give them any cause for hope and specualtion that I might play with them again (or ever depending on the situation).   Kisses Focus

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  If I'm chatting to someone on here and we agree to swap photos, I always preface it by saying that we both have to be honest - if we see the photo and we know straight away the other person is not for us, just say so. That works really well.   Once I've met someone and started to get to know them, if it doesn't feel right I prefer to be direct. It's not that hard to say "you're lovely, but you're not for me". I also prefer men to be direct with me. I can't bear pussy footing around these things.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  its all fun and games till someone does not take no for an answer......remember the movie "multiplicity"...a clone could be really usefull :)

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  IS moving on graciously, without hurting their feelings. There's a picture, or was at least, circulating on Facebook of all places that goes a bit like this. Hurt me with truth, but never comfort me with a lie. Make of it what you will.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Hi Freya   Well in line with my new found self..a very nice man has been contacting me over the last few days...lovely sounding guy, impressive profile, well mannered, intelligent.....ticked my boxes in many many ways...and more than that...keen to meet and to do a round 200 kms trip to do so   However no pic on his profile so I said to him..you know pic first to save us both grief...he complied, via sms...but sorry zero attraction...I was a bit torn ...so perfect and yet no attraction physically.....what to do ? what to do ? ...but you know, I did what I thought was best and sms him back the truth....I was cringing as I wrote the sms I must admit..and I put alot of thought into what I wrote...   He replied thankyou for my honesty.....and that was the last Ive heard from him....of course I thought about it all day..had I done the rite thing.? .and I felt a bit mean....but to thine own self be true..rite ?

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  It's impossible to hurt someone's feelings, you may tell them something they'd rather not hear, but ultimately it's up to the individual how they feel about it... it's something you have no control over! I'd rather be told, but that's just me. It's a lot harder when your the one who has to drop the bad news, thankfully my partner is in charge of our couples profile...

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Quoting 'MsVelvetblue' Hi Freya   Well in line with my new found self..a very nice man has been contacting me over the last few days...lovely sounding guy, impressive profile, well mannered, intelligent.....ticked my boxes in many many ways...and more than that...keen to meet and to do a round 200 kms trip to do so   However no pic on his profile so I said to him..you know pic first to save us both grief...he complied, via sms...but sorry zero attraction...I was a bit torn ...so perfect and yet no attraction physically.....what to do ? what to do ? ...but you know, I did what I thought was best and sms him back the truth....I was cringing as I wrote the sms I must admit..and I put alot of thought into what I wrote...   He replied thankyou for my honesty.....and that was the last Ive heard from him....of course I thought about it all day..had I done the rite thing.? .and I felt a bit mean....but to thine own self be true..rite ? You did the right thing ! When else could you tell him ? After 200k ? Now that would be mean.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  It is disappointing for the rejector as well.. Particurly when as Velvet says you like them based on the communication. I agree honesty is always the best policy but like Focus have had some nasty responses... but at least Im always honest just hate hurting anyones feelings.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  everyone,I don't have a problem initially saying that I don't think we would suit,it is actually after we have seen each other a few times. I think I definitely suffer from avoidance behaviour and while not wanting to hurt someon's feelings I make it worse. So Lost_Focus if it happens again, I shall definitely take onboard your good advice. Lovely quote Hardtruckin' btw.x R

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Sorry sweetie not my stalker this is a differnet guy altogether (someone from here). His messages only come every couple of weeks now and I ignore those. The stalker I havent heard from in 4 weeks now so woohoo!!!! sad side bar to the stalker problem is I have lost the mutual 'friend' in the process but obviously that person was never a friend to begin with.   Kisses Focus

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  I see enough rejection to know its nothing personal, but I too suffer avoiding telling people that same thing.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  It helps me heaps, as most are bloody so glad when I say "Its ok petal, you are free to go" I practice rejection all the time, be gone young man from my bed!   Then I remember I forgot to undo their handcuffs! I do believe one has to be honest and not say “its not you darl its me..crap”. Its you! I tell guys up front and do not go to bed with anyone unless I am attracted and want to go there,   Only one took it badly and got bend out of shape. In the end its not anyone’s fault how a person reacts to rejection, each individual can feel hurt or not give a dam. Just deliver the news , firmly and direct so there is no room to manoeuvre.   Were not attracted to everyy other human we see, its simple, and guys of rhp are pretty tough .

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  I didn't see that one coming at all.

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