M60
Can Marriage Survive a Fling ?
January 31 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
All depends on the people involved. Both parties must be willing to work toward a resolution. It will take a lot of maturity, a lot of forgiveness, and plenty of hard work - it's always possible, but personally, it's a no for us. We aren't that forgiving :).
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RHP User
16 years ago
Having been a betrayed spouse before, I can safely tell you that the 'strench' of the affair permeates the marriage for years and years after. Even when a wife / husband does not find out, its weird, like some sort of vibe that wrecks everything. Any normal and decent person will be racked by the guilt of it at some time. Speak to people who have been caught out and they will tell you never to go down that path. You hurt children, lose your self respect you name it. Not being a drama nut here, I know it all first hand and from speaking to others.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Trish, you have hit the nail on the head.Bangers, i have to say that if it was a once off drunken encounter, then you may be able to save the relationship.However in this case it very much sounds like a pre-meditated scenario. I've got to tell you bloke, if i was his missus, and found out he had planned the encounter, it would all be over(Once he managed to pry himself off the wall to which his ballbag would have been nailed)Honestly though, if he is planning this, has he no shame or guilt???BTW-even if she never finds out, Karma has a real strange way of catching up with you!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Of course the answer can only determined by the married couple involved. Can he keep it secret.. probably.. for a while. But there's no reason marriage can't survive some infidelity. I think "an affair" is an entirely different situation, as Trish has disclosed... but people are capable of coming up with the unusual arrangements... so why not an affair. Hmmm, anyway.. your "friend" has more to think about than can he get away with it... I think. HUgs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
oh?...was i repeating myself...sorry...all i can say is a) good luck and b) he'll get caughtcheersjose...
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RHP User
16 years ago
Let's not get carried away in thinking that a fling/affair is something you can hide from your partner. I believe that most of the time the player gets found out.As for survival of the marriage...for me personally I think so much would depend upon when or whether my partner fessed up!!! The extent of the emotional commitment that has been made in both the marriage and the affair. The extent I had been lied to. It's the lies and deceit that would be troublesome for me. As well as the lack of respect my partner had for me as a person by not being upfront with me from the very start. Honestly my marriage would never survive it.. Forgiving I can do forgetting is another thing!!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
i dumped my partner of 10 years...the father of my 3 beautiful kids after i found out he got a headjob after leaving a pub one night but if your friend is planning this...its just not on...and he decerves more then having his balls nailed to the wall he needs to talk to his partner...maybe just maybe she might want to join in...you just never know as you see on here a lot of couples play together and seperately and they stay together but if he does do this behind her back he decerves to loose everything he has...his kids, his partner, everything and bangers becareful cause if she finds out you knew and didnt tell her, she may well nail your balls right beside his on that wall good luck roxy xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Tie your mate to a chair and make him watch cheaters... wish we had an aussie version btw
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RHP User
16 years ago
Why would you want to have a fling in the 1st place,Especially one that is planned.Like it is by your friend.
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RHP User
16 years ago
A marriage is a partnership built on trust, understanding and communication. (Says he who is yet to say the vows) Cheating = Wrong! Having sex with another person without the express permission of the partner is wrong, end of story. Of all my married friends only one couple have remained faithful to each other and it seems be pure luck only that none of them have divorced, either the wives don’t know or the husbands had to beg/plead/jump through hoops to keep their kahoonas. My partner cheated on me a few years ago with an old school friend of hers and after a lot of talking, sleeping in different rooms and working things out we now have a better relationship than ever before. As a result of her infidelity and our mutual love we now have rules that allow play outside of our relationship as long as we adhere to strict rules such as asking permission to sleep with another person before even considering doing so, always using protection etc. If your friend is considering cheating I’d suggest you sit him/her down and have a long heart-to-heart and see if there is a better alternative... as Stalky said, there is a lot more at stake than getting caught. You friend may be just missing some excitement in life that can be found without risking the happiness of their partner. Can a marriage survive a fling? Yes. Can your friends marriage survive a fling? Only your friend and his/her partner can answer that.
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RHP User
16 years ago
All we can say is "No".... Karma will catch up with him/her no matter what. Your friend should talk to their partner about what is wrong with their relationship first.. Their relationship needs to be rock solid and they both need to agree to this. There is no way it will survive as your friend would end up acting differently due to "the secret" and things get messy. So from us, it is definately a no. Mr&Mrs Av. (Oh, and we have had a friend try to do it... bom bom... it failed.)
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RHP User
16 years ago
I would have to say that the answer is NO .. HELL NO! ... It is not so much they they may be feeling that an encounter would be nice/fun/exciting. It is the fact that they are planning to go against the trust that they have built up with their partner. Relationships, in my opinion, only work when both parties are comitted to being honest about their needs. To go behind their back and having a fling underminds the whole concept of being in a relationship. Tanks for taking the time to read my opinion... not that it will help you get a cup of coffee. lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ok I"m going to be a little difficult here and will probably get abused for it but ... YES a marriage CAN survive a fling. I would not dump my partner if he had a lap dance, watched a stripper, had a blow job, went to a brothel or even spent the night with a woman. ONE night ! I would be hurt if I found out but FFS.. life isn't easy, it's supposed to be full of curve balls and challenges. If my partner decided to do any of those things I'd have a good look at MYSELF AND our relationship ! Maybe they are insigificant events... maybe they aren't. But.. Trish you did the right thing. A full blown affair is different. A marriage can't survive while an affair continues. This leads to the question ...what IS an affair ! I'm sure many married men I've slept with more than once will still not consider they are having an AFFAIR ! They will say it's "just sex". But..if you are thinking about me on the weekend, txting me, calling me and webcamming with me late at night when you should be in bed with your wife / partner...what does that say? I know my marriage is over. It was a year ago. But I also know that everytime I have sex or an emotional relationship with another man, the marriage becomes further eroded. It is a sad sad complicated state of play. So.. my answer is YES but you need to play it right, set the rules and keep it all clear in your head. I think men can do this better than women. Women fuck with their hearts first, mens hearts follow their dicks ! Good luck... a very honest... Miss Saturn
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RHP User
16 years ago
That's not true Miss_Saturn. Men's hearts do not follow their dicks. Don't think you can just walk on up and fuck your way into my love life bebe... hehe... but sure.. alright well.. go on..... give it a twirl then! hehe Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
I think the moment you let someone else share your head space, then thoughts are divided as is your personality and body language..A cheater will be found out somehow sometime..I have been single now for over 2 years , after a relationship where i saw things change with my partners attitude towards me..I dont know if there was anything going on but ..As it turned out she chose to split .. This past 2 years of clear head space has been fantastic for me, cleansing if you like..But Miss Saturn and i know you know this , we dont all go with our dicks first, some dicks do have feelings ..Umm sorry now i am thinking if a great head job !!
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