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RHP

RHP User

M43

Can I get a show of hands...

March 30 2011

For all the open mindedness and non judgemental approach that this site promotes, sadly there seems an abundance of users who openly judge and seek to judge those married but seeking people. Especially if it is without the knowledge of their partners. IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE PEOPLE, THIS FORUM IS NOT FOR YOU and I would ask that you kindly do not involve yourself in this conversation. For me personally I beleive that a married person is the epitome of 'No Strings Attached' which so many of us are looking for and can remain that way as long as a few simple rules are followed. 1. Dont exchange names other than user names 2. Ascertain beforehand what you are looking for or into 3. Dont play at home, meet in a mutual location 4. Dont discuss your personal life outside the playdate. 5. Be safe when playing. SIMPLE! That way you dont get involved in any issues or dramas to do with each others lives that so many are terrified of! I am now inviting all those who are married or those who do not concern themselves with the marital status of a playmate to voice thier opinions in (what I hope) is a safe environment where they will not be criticised for their choices. Show of hands, how many of us are really out there? And yes.. perhaps some fun can come from this post.

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Personally, I love the sound of those rules. But I'd like to add:6: Ask no questions, tell no lies.7: Never kiss and tell.HugsStalky

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I am one of those and I have my justifications and if the other person cares to ask I may tell them . I am not after approval or a pat on the back others can do as they please and I will do as I please. Don’t worry about the forum Police .. Most people on here are just a name to a profile picture so why care ?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I am not in your position, so I am not 100% sure I am supposed to post??? Was it only for your experiences to date as a married individual? If so, apologies! But i thought my thoughts might help? dunno, anyway, skip this if it doesn't! Yeah some may judge you, but I don’t think that everyone does, I think there are other reasons other than that that exist for you to not have many catches on this site (if that was part of your posts intention? Or was it only about the judgement part??)? Anyway.... I can only speak for myself.... Your steps may seem simple to you, but to me who is single at the moment, your steps actually seem overcomplicated for my situation, and the reason i thought to mention it, is because maybe I am not the only one with the same way of thinking? I generally do not look for one off’s, I think your rule for one off’s would work, but that isn’t my interest. I want a FWB(s). Did you want a female partner? Because if you do, most of us are GOING TO WANT TO TALK!!! ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, I don’t KNOW, but doubt that there would be too many girls that would like rules number 1 or 4... But boys on the other hand maybe able to handle it better? Or maybe people in your exact situation? So I feel that takes a lot of single girls out of the equation, and on this site they are the minority aren’t they? But back to why a single person might not be interested, as you are married you would have to spend x amount of hours at home with your partner/family, so you are unlikely to be spontaneous – WHEN I WANT you to, nor be available again for a date out and about in public when I want if at all. And due to that fact, I feel like you would have the power seat in the ‘relationship’ and i am one that just has to feel equal. It may seem silly for a sex thing, but if my non-sexual friends, business colleagues and even family couldn’t provide me with a bit of a 50/50 give and take, it just doesn’t feel right/fair for me? Hope that makes sense? There is that extra ‘risk’ of the not knowing partner finding out and following or something, private investigator, it could happen? So that would play in your mind that it is a risk, and it is a more complicated (less simple) position to be in, than being with a married person in an open relationship or a single person. Plus my valoue system is i tend to only do what i want done to me, and that doesn’t work for me (I would go the honest open marriage, over the cheating if the shoe was on the other foot, that is ME). So I would choose an open relationship person over a non-one. That is so I don’t feel bad about myself, because if that partner found out, I WOULD feel bad. To get together with a person that is in an open relationship, I guess that is my second choice to single, but as long as we could see each other reasonably often, then i see no issue. Although, every situation may is different, ie. If you don’t live in the same place, they might be a nice person to catch up with, when one of you is in town etc Rambling now... hope some of that helps?! We all think differently, I don't think there is a right or wrong per say...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    But I do talk to my married friends. I like them, I spend time with them, I know where they live and work, I know the name of thier spouses and thier children. They are people and I dont do the one night fuck buddy situation. Sometimes we chat nearly every day and that is fine with me and them. I know thier names, they know my name...hell they know the name of one of my girls.....wait a minute.... **gasp** they actually chat to one of my girls...oh well... I know what I am looking for and so do they We usually meet at my place We discuss personal things outside of the date. We play safe No dramas, I know they will never leave thier wives and I wouldnt want them to. It is complicated. It also works for me..........and them

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    and my opinion only! < I am a single woman that will play with select married men...to me, they still need to be young and hot! My longest FB's have been with married men...anywhere from 6 months to 4 years! < I do swap names with them... We do discuss personal issues...but, only what we are comfortable with.. We swap numbers... If it is ongoing..then, my house is available for him to come and play (and also depends on his job)...ie: if he is a cop and can prove it...I have no problems with him coming here at all! < I signed up to this Site and another Site for sex ONLY...I am not really into the one nighters (unless it was SOOO bad that I just don't want to go back)! The perfect person to have an ongoing sexual relationship with is a married man...no strings...no ties..when it ends...it ends! I did not join to be taken out to dinner or dancing or to the movies..If that is what I want..then I would join a Vanilla Site! < The best way to have ongoing sex with a married man is if he works or lives close by (within 20k's)... < This is MY decision and the way that I choose to use a SEX Site...if people don't like it..sorry, but...I enjoy it and find most married men are the best lovers and the best conversationalists as they usually don't get either at home! xFunlovingx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Relationships are not simple and what works for one wont work for others. Yes in an ideal world we'd get absolutely everything from the one person and never look sideways again. But most people with successful relationships get some of their needs elsewhere - whether this is the mateship down the pub watching football or that mystifying incessant conversation that occurs when women get together and then there's sex and sometimes one has sexual desires that don't work for the other - who are we to judge? Of course no one should get hurt and there's always that risk if a partner is kept in the dark but I'm sure there is sometimes less hurt by someone delving into their kinks, satiating their base desires so that they can function in their relationship. I dunno, it's a hard one

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    but asking nicely that the married person be openly honest with the person they meet through RHP and give that person the opportunity to decide whether to meet or not.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Strange, we dont have a problem with playing with a married man in a MFM 3 some. But playing with another couple where both are married to others we do. Not consistant are we, but thats the way we like it.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Quoting 'irresponsibility' but asking nicely that the married person be openly honest with the person they meet through RHP and give that person the opportunity to decide whether to meet or not. Well put, peoples circumstances are different every time and it's not for anyone to judge. If they are open that they are attached/married then you can decline if you wish and no harm, no foul. It's not something that I would do, but what other people do isn't my business. I'd only have a problem if someone, that I was seeing, said they were single and I then found out they weren't.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Sounds 'Workable' and would have a multitude of +plus factors too. . Nothing is wrong. lest thinking make it so ~ Mark Twain.

    reply

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