M51

By no means and exhaustive list............................

September 17 2010

THE INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL OF MAN LAWS1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) When she is using her teeth.3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.5:Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden.However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask whose playing.9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend.10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.13:Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.15: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.18: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.Hang up if necessary.22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex - the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime, green, orange or sky blue.25: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox 360 End of story.26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. What else do you think should be included on this list........

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RHP User

15 years ago

ROFLMFAO Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Funniest thing I have read in ages...wiping the tears from eyes. Hilarious Thanks for the great laugh Love it Love it Love it xFunlovingx

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RHP User

15 years ago

Great stuff exit !

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RHP User

15 years ago

I don't know about No2 mate......Real men never cry. Cheers Nev

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RHP User

15 years ago

your a funny bugga Exit thank you so much for the laugh roxxy

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RHP User

15 years ago

A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on ''Involuntary Muscular Contractions'' to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front Row and said, 'Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're Having an orgasm?' She replied, 'probably deer hunting with his buddies..' It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.........

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RHP User

15 years ago

very funny....and i pretty much agree!Oh..and the dutch oven one...is that a well known rule??coz i think ive been gipped on that one ffs!lmao!BJxxx

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RHP User

15 years ago

Lovin it Intrigued.....mannn thats 3 posts in a row i have looked at this afternoon and gotten a laugh Cheers Nev

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By no means and exhaustive list............................

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