M48
Broken Heart.
December 21 2022
My question is!!!
Everyone have had a big or a small Broken heart! What is the best thing to do? What would be your advice to someone very close to you, is deeply in love and got his/her heart broken ?
Thank you all in advance for such nice feed back.
Comments
Rising_Phoenix
a year ago
Take each day as it comes, unfortunately time is the only thing that heals a truly broken heart. You can turn lights on but it’s not going to cure the darkness, you have to wait for the sunrise.
Rage all you want inside but hurt no-one. Maybe seek some counselling if it really did a number on you and you need to talk it out but try not to upset those who care for you with constant moping, basically just fake happiness until it returns.
Heartbreak sucks regardless of the cause, you have to go through the mourning process but I think with relationships it’s also particularly important to make a conscious effort not to become jaded and nasty or selfish just because someone’s been like that to you, heal and improve xx
takemeoutdoors
a year ago
Spend time on yourself. Surround yourself with positivity. Take time to heal. On the hard days put one foot in front of the other. Be honest with yourself about your faults but be gentle with yourself. Life is a journey. Move forward with lessons learnt and memories treasured. One day you may be able to look back with a smile once again.
teamaj2
a year ago
Hi Mask
So sorry to hear that life hasn’t been so kind to you .
I’m not going to say , perhaps what others may suggest of ‘getting back on the horse ‘ so to speak .
I think there is no one way to navigate a broken heart. It’s a process of often grieving , being angry , disappointed , perhaps there is feelings of resentment and being at a loss .
It’s a day at a time process . Some days will be better than others . Allowing yourself to lick your wounds, do whatever you feel comfortable doing without listening to others say - ‘you should move on or go out or date ? ‘ It will take as long as it takes to recover , to let the walls down to trust again and open yourself up to others .
Seeking professional help is often a good option . Doctors can give you a mental health plan to seek out a suitable psychologist. If may take a few attempts to find the right one for you .
I wish you good luck in the road ahead . AxRHP User
a year ago
Hey Mask007. This hard to answer because it would be very person specific. You've already got a couple good answers. Time is really all that heals in my opinion, everything else is about getting by until that happens. One foot in front of the other just keep walking until you get there.
Something new has to fill in the time that used to be put towards the relationship, this imho is the key to how well this process goes. "Start a new hobby" Sounds great at first but the devil is the detail. I hope your friend is doing ok.
MsSuperFoxy
a year ago
Sorry to hear.
Focus on you, not them.
Guarantee they’ll return one day. When that day comes it is up to you that decides, not them. Bet you top dollar you’ll know exactly what to do because you’ll be in a much healthier and stronger frame of mind. In the mean time do things you want to do.
Ms Foxy
Inflation
a year ago
Listen to a song called castles by "Freya Ridings".
A few tips there might help.
On the brighter side, better now that later. You still got you're youth and energy to get past this.
Parzival
a year ago
I can certainly empathise with how you feel! It can be such an isolating feeling.
There is such beautiful advice here already, I don't think there is too much to add that hasn't been said, just two small things:
1) don't start taking anti depressants at this point in your life or avoid upping the dose - obviously I'm not a doctor and don't know your situation so take with a grain of salt but generally speaking, I would say it's usually a bad idea.
2) sit in front of a mirror and have an actual honest convo with yourself. I guess this has been said already. And to repeat, be honest but kind.
Genuine best of luck and love to you brother. We grow through struggle
Ex007
a year ago
Understand that it's part of the grieving process. Be kind to yourself as your not just grieving that person but you also have to grieve that part of you that loved them. The part of you that loved them is the most difficult for humans.
Here is a writing I've written which may help.
Lessons in Pain
It is interesting how we as humans learn some of our greatest lessons from pain. Not ordinary pain but the type of emotional pain where you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole because you just want it to stop. But how is it that we feel so much pain? That is a question I’ve asked myself many times. However I’ve come to understand, that with great pain comes great awakening. The type of awakening that can not be taken from you and can never be undone.
But why is there pain and where does it come from? I’ve concluded that one avenue is, that the human mind creates a future. A future that has not yet happened and may not happen at all. Nevertheless, the mind has created something which is not in the current reality. The mind has formed a movie or a story of sorts, coming up with what the future holds yet it’s not yet there in reality. This is the beginning, the sowing of the seeds of pain.
As it is when life continues and plays out as it will and as it should be. The reality of what is than meets resistance in the mind, because the mind had preprocessed another reality to be the truth when in fact it was not. It is when these two paradigms meet each other they create pain.RHP User
a year ago
Don’t be hard on yourself , roll with the punches and remember to breathe . Grab your playlist , find something physically hard and challenge yourself . Discover heart food and talk with friends .
RHP User
a year ago
For me it takes a year to really be moving forward again. In that time I swim, get lost in good books especially in the evening. Push myself to be social occasionally. The time it takes is different for everyone. Depending on the relationship and how long you were together.
Give yourself a break and always try to learn something from the experience. If you feel like the other was your soulmate then your screwed for eternity with thoughts of them daily . That's me now and it's been 9 months.
nightingale8
a year ago
Grief is a terrible reminder of the depths of our love. You are where you are and that’s OK. Wishing you well x
RHP User
a year ago
To some degree, it’s hard to offer advice when there is no context around the heart break.
None of the suggestions listed above are bad by any means. But there could be different advice for example based on the reason why the heart break has occurred.
For me, within reason though, acceptance has been a major part in being able to move forward after having my heart smashed to smithereens. And having hope that I will find love again.
MrandMrsEss
a year ago
I’ve had my heart shattered twice. First time I partied too hard and drank way too much. Second time I bought a motorbike and rode and rode and ride and rode. It’s a better cathartic choice.
RHP User
a year ago
Merry Christmas Mask. Hope you are doing ok.
RHP User
a year ago
Build in routine. Heartbreak and loss and grief are hard on the body and mind. Focus on eating regularly, getting the blood moving, sleeping well and being able to sit in the discomfort of the emotions. Time heals everything. Don’t jump into anything until ready and don’t do things that you will lead to substantial regret.
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