Bondage, the misunderstood discipline

Comments

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Depends on whether you are taking bondage as a form of slavery (kink or otherwise) or more generally meaning "bound".Some may bind another purely for the aesthetic pleasure (shibari comes to mind) and count this as 'soft'.Fluffy handcuffs or Mr Grays silk tie... soft.Others may bind a guy's nuts so tight they turn a colour not-yet-name (blue/black comes to mind) and call this 'hard'.Legit cuffs and other hard (physically literally) forms of binding... hard.Safe word needed? soft vs hard?Soft limit, hard limit (absolute limit?) Some boundaries can be pushed and some can't - this may be from previous experience and already knowing what works for the individual.Kind of like feather vs using the whole chook..... still comes from a chicken.I take bondage as being bound and yep, believe in soft vs hard. :)

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Thing is that i have found is It is fun with a person thats into and when u first start out if that person has a idea of wot is going on If u try it use a safe work or the stop lights REDfor stop AMBER for slow down its starting to get to much and GREEN. for its all good But read up on it or join a site so u can find out more Talk to who ur going to do it with so ur both on the same page of wots ging to happen

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Bondage is the state of surrendering ones will to another. This can take the form of a simple session where one person submits to the other for a particular purpose such as mental release or sexual stimulation or it can be one submitting to another's will to be their slave in a 24/7 relationship. The confusion begins because the majority of people assume that pain is always involved when it isn't. Being submissive isn't about submitting to pain. First and foremost it is a mental exercise that takes the submissive out of their usual mindset. I know many submissives that adore being subservient and can't abide pain yet they are still in bondage. They will take pain to please those that dominate them but it gives them no satisfaction either mentally or physically.Kinky or Bondage? Some label themselves as kinky because they swing. Many people in the BDSM world call themselves kinky or kinksters but few of them swing. Whenever the word kinky is used I get clarification as too many people assume I swing when I don't.Hard versus Soft? My experience is that soft bondage involves minimum pain if any (think hot wax or light spanking), rope play, sensation play, orgasm denial and erotic torture such as using a vibrator to make someone orgasm over and over. It is more for sexual stimulation, is based on sensation and has less mental stimulation. When the play is soft you don't really leave your comfort zone.Hard bondage often involves full restraints such as cuffs chains, mummification and straight jackets. It can, but not always, involve pain either as punishment or for stimulation. I put humiliation in the hard category even though there is not always pain involved because the mental involvement far outweighs the physical. At the harder end of the scale you get things like fisting, caning, blood play, needles, extreme cock and ball torture and electroplay. The submissive is taken well out of his or her comfort zone.One last word on pain - I know many submissives that call themselves painsluts. They are able to take pain to the point where they enter a eurphoric almost trance-like state we call "subspace". This is a natural high brought about by endorphins produced by the body in response to the pain. One submissive once described my caning him as feeling like I was hitting him with a french bread stick. I too have experienced this to a lesser degree so I know it to be true. ( And I have a pic with the bruises to prove it )

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Mistress has hit the nail on the head, but then I know that this is her area of expertise...   It is not something easily defined especially when we all have our own limits but for me the term bondage definately refers to my surrender of my mental and physical state to another. It does not refer to pain (mmmmmmmmm) or the physical act of tieing someone up.   Bring on your hard stuff Mistress.....pretty pretty please?   Kisses Focus

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  In BDSM the dominants usually push boundaries but to do this professionally you have to get into your submissive's head to be able to understand their needs and wants. You also need to be able to read their physical reactions so you don't push way beyond those boundaries.You are always welcome in my dungeon Focus.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Quoting 'MistressT' In BDSM the dominants usually push boundaries but to do this professionally you have to get into your submissive's head to be able to understand their needs and wants. You also need to be able to read their physical reactions so you don't push way beyond those boundaries.You are always welcome in my dungeon Focus. A person who submits to "hard" bondage is set by the parameters in their own head no matter what the intention? The mere fact there is a safety word means there is a mutual understanding between both parties that there is a line which can't be crossed. How then, can we totally "submit" ourselves when boundaries have been mutually put in place?. I absolutely appreciate everyone's feed back on this matter by the way.

  reply

  like

• 

  twowithnolimits

  13 years ago

  we have enjoyed a 24/7 D/s relationship for many years, if anyone wishes to private chat on the subject....   P&n xx

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Quoting 'Lost_Focus' Mistress has hit the nail on the head, but then I know that this is her area of expertise...   It is not something easily defined especially when we all have our own limits but for me the term bondage definately refers to my surrender of my mental and physical state to another. It does not refer to pain (mmmmmmmmm) or the physical act of tieing someone up.   Bring on your hard stuff Mistress.....pretty pretty please?   Kisses Focus     Agree Focus. Always love reading MistressT's posts (thank you MT! ;p)Is an interesting post and I think highlights the many variables encompassed by the term 'BDSM'. The interpretations are as individual and unique as those that have it as part of their life.I am not sure it is possible to participate in any level of bondage without there being some mental association also. Perhaps this is also relevant to the questions posted in the OP, in that the level of trust required could be directly related to individual's interpretation of 'hard' and 'soft' (just kinda thinking... errr typing my thoughts out ;p)

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Quoting 'newkee' Quoting 'Lost_Focus' Mistress has hit the nail on the head, but then I know that this is her area of expertise...   It is not something easily defined especially when we all have our own limits but for me the term bondage definately refers to my surrender of my mental and physical state to another. It does not refer to pain (mmmmmmmmm) or the physical act of tieing someone up.   Bring on your hard stuff Mistress.....pretty pretty please?   Kisses Focus     Agree Focus. Always love reading MistressT's posts (thank you MT! ;p)Is an interesting post and I think highlights the many variables encompassed by the term 'BDSM'. The interpretations are as individual and unique as those that have it as part of their life.I am not sure it is possible to participate in any level of bondage without there being some mental association also. Perhaps this is also relevant to the questions posted in the OP, in that the level of trust required could be directly related to individual's interpretation of 'hard' and 'soft' (just kinda thinking... errr typing my thoughts out ;p) There is always an agreement between parties going into a BDSM. My point is that you cannot totally "submit" yourself to a person when there is a clause. The true meaning of domination is having your actions taken completely out of your control, and no matter how much we simulate it, that is something we can never do in a controlled situation.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  So howz it going today so still play i started to get into it but the training slave wanted more so i stepped away from it

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Quoting 'wifewantsagal' There is always an agreement between parties going into a BDSM. My point is that you cannot totally "submit" yourself to a person when there is a clause. The true meaning of domination is having your actions taken completely out of your control, and no matter how much we simulate it, that is something we can never do in a controlled situation. As a submissive with a Master I can hnenstly say that while I do have a safe word I have never had to use it (with him). I trust my Master absolutely to look after my needs, to ensure my safety at all times. We did not enter into anything until Ihad developed that trust with him.   However, if you are experiencing these kind of activities with someone who you dont know well, havent developed that trust then yes it is likely that boundaries are going to be imposed to protect your own safety.   These are in cases where your submitting your body to conditions where you may be harmed.   Not all submission is physical. BDSM does not have to encompass pain or physical domination. For many it is purely the mental submission.   There are many aspects of BDSM and I feel that the OP is stuck on the physical and pain aspects of it.   You can submit yourself to domination without submitting yourself to pain.   Kisses Focus

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  13 years ago

  I couldn't have put it better myself.

  reply

  like