Body positivity after cancer
June 21 2024
I am one of the large population who have been diagnosed with cancer, and retain a large visible scar from treatment. Surgery and radiation therapy have permanently altered my appearance - but it's kept me alive. Having a visible scar is also quite handy as I don't need to explain the impact of treatment due to a horseshoe shaped scar and hair loss.
I can generally deal with that because it's me judging me. Things get a little tricky when dating online though...
I wonder how many other members of RHP have been through the same experiences after treatment? How many other members are carrying an illness that doesn't have a physical scar?
I am not hung like a horse or as dashing as the guy from the Old Spice ad, so I'm not expecting to find a perfect 10 for myself here. But cancer (like many other illnesses,) has a habit of screwing up your plans - including intimacy.
Obviously there's nothing stopping someone from joining RHP when they are ill or disabled, but if this is not the right place for it, where else is there?
I wish everyone great success in your search.
❤️
Comments
teamaj2
4 months ago
Hi Mr Squiggle . Firstly , I am sorry for what you have been through . It’s an emotional rollercoaster and yes it leaves scars mentally and physically. I’m pleased to read that obviously it was successful and life goes on .
I feel that a lot people , especially of a certain age have scars of the emotional kind . They have experienced loss ( whether that be financial or losing someone close to them ) , heart ache , abuse etc etc - the list is endless . Life can throw some difficult curve balls .
I’m a little older than most here and I certainly have had my share on the rollercoaster ride of life .
I hope that my battles of the past , be they my battle with cancer and the emotional kind do not define me .
I am unsure of your physical scars but they aren’t all you are about . I’m sure you bring to any relationship/ friendship - good company , sense of humour , a sense of adventure etc .
I wish you goodluck on the Pie . I’ve not got any sage advice except to put forward the best you, you can be , be respectful and patient . It’s not an easy road for any single guy on RHP and the competition is fierce . Ax
Kokoflamingo
4 months ago
I'm glad you recovered, and I'm sure life seems all the sweeter these days. I have rheumatoid arthritis, a painful condition that can affect my mobility, but modern meds give me a normal life. In the case of a flare up, I take a day off work and rest. It doesn't affect my dating life that much although I had to cancel on a guy once because of a flare and he had a little tantrum. 🫢 If you have great health you are very lucky. Material stuff becomes immaterial.
Andrea_Sydney
4 months ago
I don’t have any feedback like that. But I wanted to commend you for having your chin up, having that gratitude that you have for your health and for putting yourself back out there. All the best x
FeistyFatty
4 months ago
Nothing really to contribute beyond, congratulations on your recovery. Don't overthink the scars, as a female with a few myself (C-sections, broken ankles, shoulder reconstruction etc) I've never even given them a second thought, let alone thought what others might think.
ElectricDreamers
4 months ago
Have been in an 'it's complicated' dynamic with someone battling cancer and it complicated the already complicated situationship...
I guess you've got to just keep putting yourself out there. There's no doubt ladies out here who have gone through breast or cervical cancers who might find affinity but there's also people looking for a hook-up who will lean in to however you present yourself on-line.
I've not read your profile but in your shoes I'd be leaning into it rather than away... ie - life is for living! Whatever takehomes seem appropriate from the journey you've been through.
anaBana
3 months ago
Love reading your vulnerability. Thank you for sharing.
Everyone has scars. I like talking about scars and asking questions. Connecting is easier when we can just all be real and see each others scars, maybe it’d make the world a kinder more empathetic place.
I get so turned off 🤮🤮🤮 by cheesy sweet talking and surface conversations. Zero interest.
I LOVE connection. I love laughing and playing. I feel privileged to hold space for someone and witness what they are going through. And then I love love love, love making to that person and completely gifting with affection.
I have a beautiful relationship so I’m not after a tied connection - but sex in all forms whether with my partner or another is not just sex for me.
There are your people out there, you just be you so you can vibe them. ❤️
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