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Body Image - Is This a Step Too Far?

August 14 2014

So early this morning I was on the website for Our Secret Spot, which is Sydney's latest swingers club that opened early this year. While over in their FAQ section I came across something that made me pause, take notice and then pose the following elsewhere in the forums but that was already in an established topic and so it was suggested to perhaps make it its own. In Our Secret Spot's FAQ was found the following, copied and pasted straight from their website: In Our Secret Spot's FAQ was found the following, copied and pasted straight from their website: "Do we have to look like models to attend? We cater to people who understand how to present themselves and know how to have fun. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you may be the model type to our other guests. A well cared for figure and look is always the most attractive and should be a priority for everybody. Obesity and an unkempt look will not get you many admiring looks. As you will be in close proximity to other guests it is obvious that you should have showered, etc. before arriving at the club. Our guests come for each other, so make sure you show yourself at your best!" Some people deal with body issues and image at times which can become a constant thing, a real struggle for them to either accept what they have. As part of swinging this can be dragged to the fore in particular as the nature of the activity often puts people in a position where there is all to bare to others. How others look and attraction for them are indeed always something that is in the eye of the beholder. It is often talked about as to what others find attractive, what makes others attractive and so on.Now, people may have their personal preferences and that's all well and good but coming from a club, what is bolded in the quote above (in case you may have missed it otherwise) could appear to be in rather poor taste to some, and even offensive to others. "A well cared for figure is always the most attractive" as they have stated, so therefore anything overweight is not. Their choice of words, especially the use of "always," leaves little in the way of leeway for interpretation on however it may be read. The media is constantly a subject of discussion for its unrealistic portrayal of the human figure via photos/magazines/etc and their pressure for people to be skinny, model like appearance, and then here is this website that would appear to be doing the same thing but in a text form. One would've thought a swingers club was open and accepting to a wide gamut of clientele but if a club is trying to target a specific clientele then perhaps that's not the way to go about it. Has that quote jumped into the realm of going a step to far, or crossing the border into "fat shaming?" Is what an individual can say any different to a club? If a person posted that in the forum here what would the reaction be. ~Mr Taleros

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RHP User

11 years ago

Thankyou for sharing this I am quite appalled to read this I am not what one would call "fat" but for nearly all my life I have battled with image issues I was a dancer but a too tall dancer and thigh and chest heavy heavy For years I over exercised, slumped, punished my body and lived on protein shakes/water resulting in severe eating disorder, cease of menstruation, depression and my whole homorne system upside down resulting in bad skin. loss of teeth, loss of hair. I could speak with the horrible side effects on my body but I am too shamed. It took years of first self acceptance, intense counselling, change of career and many acknowledgements in my life to accept that I was ok physically. No I would never be the dancer I wanted to be but I could still dance To read the above reinforced that in the 15 odd years since I was battling my body issues we have not advanced at all as a a society. What shallow and pitiful thinking . I understood that people of all ages, sizes, race etc were capable of lust, but our writre of this article appears not to agree and yet they want to run a business open to all but selectively. In a time where I thought we were suppose to be open minded to all, it would appear we are not I can only hope that many people read this forum and if they are attendee of this club, and are outraged like I am, state that they are Thanking for bringing this article to the light and I would never attend this club if this is their outlook.

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MissBishere

11 years ago

Right there in black and white. And having heard some make comments like "it's watching ugly people porn" But I am keen to go and see what they are like and make decisions based on my own experiences. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

11 years ago

... the club is trying to build a bit of an exclusive image without being completely offensive about it. It's their right to do that as a business but it's likely to turn some people off. That's the club's risk to take. - Posted from rhpmobile

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MsSuperFoxy

11 years ago

How I read it, was more to do with Personal Hygiene and having that as a well cared for figure not as in body shape or size...No one I know who plays at clubs, wants to play with some one who has poor personal hygiene. EEEEEEK! YUCK! No Thank you. Foxy

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RHP User

11 years ago

A statement to target a very specific clientele. No different to a private party..... - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

11 years ago

Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' How I read it, was more to do with Personal Hygiene and having that as a well cared for figure not as in body shape or size...No one I know who plays at clubs, wants to play with some one who has poor personal hygiene. EEEEEEK! YUCK! No Thank you. Foxy Yes there is mention of hygiene but... "Obesity...will not get you many admiring looks." There's no way to miscontrue the meaning behind that. It's clearly a (very loaded) statement about body size.

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RHP User

11 years ago

nobody, or very few, want to play with us fatties lol. Its part and parcel of life. I'd rather they were up front about it than going there and having them turn their noses up at me embarassing me further. It is what it is as my boss would say.

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RHP User

11 years ago

I concur :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

11 years ago

Glass eyes or wooden legs, Cool, I'm in !

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RHP User

11 years ago

so I don't masturbate. We all need to look after our health, and healthy means moderation in eating and a little bit of exercise. The people who run the show can choose who they want to bump pink bits with, but it will not help the hip pocket if the narrow it down to such a small margin. The only thing I can say about swingers is for god sake shower, wash those bits that a nose might get near. As for women with body issues. Do not buy into all that crap. I am no spring chicken, nor am I skinny and I have scars people think I do knife fighting in my spare time. So do not bother with this rubbish, go out there and enjoy your body and do all the things you want to do, before its to late. posted from the side of a hospital bed , feeding an old man and thinking fuck am I glad I am having a wild old time before someone is shoving soft food instead of hard cock into my mouth.

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RHP User

11 years ago

Yep....the club owners choice....which they are free to make.... But they're not free of the consequences of that choice... Well said :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

11 years ago

Quoting 'inthekiss' so I don't masturbate. We all need to look after our health, and healthy means moderation in eating and a little bit of exercise. moderation in eating has NOTHING to do with being in shape if you are a gym ratI respect anyone's choice to reject a partner beause of how they look physically - because at the end of the day, physical appearance IS eye candy - and sometimes all you need I'm 6'4, and I seriously doubt anyone eats more than I do during the daybut everything I eat is good, and I work hard at life, so I don't put on fat if you do (anyone out there), and it bothers you, then it's easy to change that - but you HAVE TO sweat to make eating well, easyand it's that simple

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RHP User

11 years ago

Between overweight and obese. Being overweight looks fine (great even) up to a certain point... Where you tip into obesity, where you're really not looking after yourself.

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Body Image - Is This a Step Too Far?

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