F62

Blowing MInds because... Sexuality

March 03 2021

A copied and pasted article from the net, that I wanted to ask for thoughts on. My thoughts tend towards wondering why we work so hard to understand feelings towards each other. If you're curious about where it came from at all, searching the headline should give you the site it was posted on. :-) "A therapist is blowing minds by explaining how men can have sex with men and still be straight. Gay sex and relationships therapist Dr. Joe Kort is causing a stir on TikTok where he explains why straight men who have sex with men can still be considered straight. If a man has sex with a man doesn't it ultimately make him gay or bisexual? According to Kort, there can be a big chasm between our sexual and romantic orientations. "Straight men can be attracted to the sex act, but not to the man. Straight men having sex with men doesn't cancel somebody's heterosexuality any more than a straight woman having sex with a woman cancels her [heterosexuality]," he says in the video. Kort says he isn't erasing bisexuality, but that it's an entirely different phenomenon from straight men who have sex with men. Bisexual men are attracted to both men and women romantically, but straight men who have sex with other men, are only into the sex, not the person. "When straight men have sex with men, it's not a gay thing. It's a guy thing," he explains in a later video. For the man who has sex with other men and considers himself straight, it's more about getting off than getting close. The video has had a lot of negative comments, most saying that men who have sex with men are gay or bisexual, case-closed. "Can I eat steak and still be vegan?" one commenter asks. Many also accused Kort of being mildly homophobic for giving straight men the option to have gay sex without having to confront the notion they may be gay or bisexual. Kort's videos point out the seldom-discussed idea that sexual and romantic attraction are not the same thing. Then, by adding the twist that someone can be into sex with a certain gender without feeling any romantic pull, makes things even more confusing. The type of men that Kort describes could be aroused by another man sexually, but wouldn't feel comfortable or have any interest in being emotionally intimate with them. In fact, the emotional intimacy with another man may make them uncomfortable. It's just sex for sex's sake and what's wrong with that? This same type of man may enjoy fantasizing about gay sex or watching gay pornography while having little interest in actually performing the act in real life. Kort further explained his thoughts in a subsequent video. "When I'm talking about straight men who sleep with men, I'm talking about a difference between who you're attracted to and what fantasies you have in your head. You have a sexual orientation and an erotic orientation," he says. "And the things that are embedded in your erotic orientation that turn you on, that bring you to the finish line, can include other genders. You can imagine yourself being another gender," he continues. Kort does a great job at explaining the difference between romantic and sexual attraction and that, for some, it spans gender. It may also help some men who are only into guys sexually and are unsure why they have zero romantic interest in someone, feel a little less confused."

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RHP User

5 years ago

This is probably going to be pretty unpopular BUT... There seems to be a huge push lately for people to ditch sexuality and genders and just be a do whoever they like, as if sexual desire is more important than anything else in life. Years ago my mother told me all this was paving the way for pedophiles to justify themselves using the line “we just like what we like and there’s nothing wrong with that, don’t judge us” and you know what? I’m saddened to say it looks like maybe she was right, the way they’re messing with kids these days regarding gender and sexuality along with this whole “you can do whatever you like and still be “normal””. Attitude looks very scary to me. If you like sex with men and women you’re bisexual, yes, that still applies if you’re loving women and just using men for sex. Let’s stop blurring lines before we forget where we drew them altogether.

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RHP User

5 years ago

Makes sense.

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BeccyBec

5 years ago

I can see wh ast he is trying to say but to me it's illogical and doesn't make sense. With the exception of people in single sex confinement such as prison, I don't think it could be considered as sex for the sake of having sex.

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SpicyKale

5 years ago

What a crock of shit! I don’t care what the author of the article thinks, it’s bi erasure. He might be bi, queer, pan, experimental or even hetroflexible, but not straight. I can’t think of a bigger turn off as a bi guy than a guy convincing himself that he’s straight, but wouldn’t mind your sucking your cock! Personal opinion only, I’m sure others will strongly disagree 🤷🏻‍♂️

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Champagne333

5 years ago

Isn’t he just redefining labels? Isn’t that what this generation is about redefining the old and introducing the new... years ago there were a small handful of labels defining sexuality but today it’s unlimited and seems like there’s a new one each week... not saying I agree or disagree but you goooo Dr Kort

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ElectricDreamers

5 years ago

Isn't that what the experimental option means?

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2EssesExploring

5 years ago

I hate labels and hate even more the incessant need to make more abs more labels and divide people into smaller and smaller groups. There are shades of grey with most things and sexuality has more than most. You can identify as whatever you like but does that really mean you can’t step outside that identity every now and then. The lesbian couple who sometimes take a man to bed to enjoy a cock can surely still identify as lesbians. Is a man who sleeps with men for money only but desires women only bisexual? I think this topic also touches on what should be openly socially acceptable and I do think that not everything about sexuality needs to be openly glorified. Sure a part of me wishes the world was one big free love love orgy but in reality it’s not a world that would work past the fantasy.

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RHP User

5 years ago

If you meet someone who you are attracted to sexually and you have sex with them....................why should it make you "anything".? Its sex. Ive never been with a woman but one day I might meet someone I have a sexual attraction to. People who regularly go to orgies...are they bi, gay or what, because they are playing with everyone. If youre not cheating or harming anyone else, its your business who you want to share your body with.

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RHP User

5 years ago

I went cross eyed reading this and all of the comments. Maybe I might have to cross my legs too

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RHP User

5 years ago

A friend of mine, who has sex with men and women, was asked if he was bi or gay. He replied " Neither. Im Me".

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AnnieWhichway

5 years ago

To say a guy isn't bisexual because he only has sex with guys and not romantic relationships, just means he hasn't met Mr Right yet. I think the author is just trying to deflect discrimination/homophobia from his current sexuality. Which is understandable by those of us who have/do experience it. The problem rests with those who discriminate against the male population who engage in sex with their own gender. We have come a long way but there is a long way to go. The swinging community has evolved further than the general population but it certainly exists as is highlighted by the difference between MM and FF interactions. The point that the article focuses on male bisexuality and not so much female bisexuality emphasises this difference in society today

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Sawadee

5 years ago

Geezus ' all this ducking and weaving ? Does my head in when a man wants to fuck both men and women , yet still want to claim the heterosexual tag. You are what you are .. Thinking your not , doesnt change a thing ? If it looks like a duck , quacks like a duck , and walks like a duck.. Its a duck ?

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2EssesExploring

5 years ago

More than once I have come across a mf couple where the male half goes out of their way to express that he doesn’t want any bi man anywhere near him but then goes on to say he wants to try dp/dvp etc. so how does one do this without very significant rubbing together of cocks I don’t know???? I’m pretty much straight but not hung up on what anyone else is. We have played with couples with a bi male and there was likely a little more than accidental contact but nothing was pushed and I never felt uncomfortable. I may have even grabbed a cock and guided it into my wife....does this mean I’m not straight? Maybe there needs to be yet another classification? Bent :) straight but not as straight as an arrow haha

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Mrs_Deep_Love

5 years ago

Well that was some bullshit..... I almost feel dirty for reading it 🤣. But good to read a forum topic that isn't about being weird 🤪

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RHP User

5 years ago

Cannot the same be said for women though? I enjoy sex with men and women but have never felt romantically inclined towards a woman. I still class myself as bi though - to say I was straight wouldn't be an accurate description of my sexuality.

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hot2nwild

4 years ago

There should only be one label, and thats Human. Who cares what sexual acts consenting adults enjoy, or who they find attractive or fall in love with.. We should be uniting and bringing happiness to each other, not making new ways to alienate and persecute each other..

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RHP User

4 years ago

"Can I eat steak and still be a vegan?" - no, unless its a no-meat steak. "Am I more gay if I like a bit of sauce with my sausage?" - well, not sure, but it's plausible.

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Blowing MInds because... Sexuality

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