F63
Being uncomfortable.....
March 29 2014
Comments
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Dryphuz
12 years ago
I thought for a second that it actually constituted a crime, but apparently so long as there's no penetration it's not. Still... Heaps of guys have probably fantasized about bi twins (which would also constitute a crime if there was sexual penetration), but a daughter, even a step daughter, is pretty far beyond even that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've heard all sorts of stories of Men behaving badly on "Vanilla" sites . Perhaps because those sites are so tame , some Men just can't hold back for long . But there's plenty of unsavory stories coming from here too . Fortunately I haven't heard of any similar stories to yours because that's gross . HG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissBishere
12 years ago
I am also on vanilla sites and I'm very open and honest about being on RHP. I was and still am constantly judged by the guys on the other sites for being on RHP, so I took my profile from here and posted it on the vanilla sites :) Has been lots of fun. OP whoever that dude was that is plain scary. What do you do with that information what did he hope to gain by telling you that? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I hope You reported him to the police and the site administrators. If not please do.
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RHP User
12 years ago
RHP administrators have his information, so even if he's blocked you, he can be tracked......... Think of the child in this situation, plus you also have this in writing, that's big!!! Please report this.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You must call some authority in this situation as we all know this is not a ideal situation . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
He needs to be reported.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Might I suggest you contact the administrators of the VANILLA SITE and advise them .. you also have a moral and legal obligation if the child is under 16 to advise police and / or child services of your concerns and they can check his IP for confirmation. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am just curious what was the nature of your chatting?? Was he professing a fantasy perhaps? This is huge for me to go there as its not my thing but I have heard/read...and there is freaky porn on mother daughter etc. If you are troubled and think he is molesting his child you need to act. There are many evil people in the world.
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RHP User
12 years ago
He has since contacted me to stress that there is nothing going on between him and his daughter, and that I am "sick" for thinking that, but why did he block me for raising my suspicions and say that love between a parent and child isn't abuse? I now have full sympathy for people in the family support sector who have to make decisions regarding child custody.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hang on a sec folks...... Sure, in the context of the post as written described in one sentence by the OP..... 2 and 2 go together..... to make 37 But just maybe..... the language as to sumamrise much longer conversations between the OP and the man in question, paints a sinister story where one simply doesnt exist. And before the lynchmob light their fires and raise pitchforks at me.... I am the father of a daughter of similar age.We share a very close bond.... we kiss.... we snuggle.... we love each other dearly.... and yes... occasionally she sees me naked, as we tag team at shower time every now and again if we're in a rush to get out of the house. When she is ready to seek privacy, she will make it obvious and I will respect that fully. Nothing sinister here, as is the case in the vast majority of families.... just the life of a single dad, and his adoring daughter looking up to her powerfully positive male role model..... something too many kids are lacking. I raise this alternative voice.... as one thing that really pisses me off, is the presumption in some corners of society that says all men are not to be trusted and must be viewed as a potential pedophile.... until proven otherwise. 2c DG.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I hear you, I have a teenage son and we are very close. We hug and tell each other "I love you" every day. But I wouldn't go in the spa naked with him or sleep in the same bed as him, kissing and cuddling. I am giving the Guy the benefit of the doubt, we had arranged to meet up and all was well until that point, it was just something I didn't feel comfortable with. I know there are many naturist families who would view bathing naked together as normal, so I am aware of this. The pitchfork is back in the shed, but the thought is still in the back of my mind.
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RHP User
12 years ago
No matter if it is same sex parent or opposite.....indulging in naked spas?...is that wrong?.....I think it depends on the age of the child......the interaction between parent and child....prepubertal children are developing physically with a whole lot of confusing emotions going on....tread carefully..............Should you report this man Koko,probably,its not up to you or I to judge but for the authorities to investigate....I work with children and if a parent had said that to me,I would have a duty to report it........are the people on this site different to people on the other sites?.....Nope ,because they are often the same people xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think the police dob in line for paedophilia has been called Operation Paradox because in the mind of the perpetrator, it can be thought of as a legitimate form of love, despite the obvious abuse of trust and duty of care. In the mind of the rest of society though, it is still the most repugnant form of crime upon another. Kokoflamingo, make a report, then the matter is out of your hands and the record is there for future reference, even if they do not take action at this stage. Well done for drawing attention to it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
.was he of similar age - before jumping to any form of conclusion...........How old is this child? So you are all now thinking I am just nuts to even be thinking like yes.....YES it is morally wrong and yes it does not gel with Darwin Theory at all.... IF THEY ARE INTIMATE and I get all that however I ask the question..... My relationship with my sons ...some of you would think I was wrong. I raised them not to prudes on nudity! Like most people are. Funny we all have the same bits and funny how so many people have issues with nudity.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thank you!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Very good point you raise here as infact if it was nothing more as you say it could destroy a mans life !! On a private conversation with miss Koko i believe there must be further investigation into this situation and i personally have offered my own assistance if required as mr DG i believe you also would be doing a grand gesture for this man and daughter and assisting miss koko in some way to help her? Miss Koko cannot be made to feel now responsible for the next step to be taken ?? Some may say its personal stay out of it well no its not personal anymore its in the public arena now for a reason we can only describe as alleged !! Further investigation must be taken ??? Further assistance must be given ??? Before any conclusion is reached lets all just step back and help !! not trip over our own feet trying to attack and hang when we can only assume ?? One thing is certain it must be taken seriously . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I hope You reported him to the police and the site administrators. If not please do. This isn't normal, report him before this goes further. I 100% agree w/ Meeka on this. It's not right and child abuse. Koz.
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rupamohan
12 years ago
Online community is simply as good or as bad as real life people. I don't think this really depends on which site. All sites have limited screening capability as it cost to screen members. Also it is not possible for a site owner to define what is morally bad. Regd legal position. It is a crime to exposes a child to or involves a child in sexual processes beyond his or her understanding or contrary to accepted community standards. If you are the kind who like to push limits without being criminal. It is important you know limits of sexual understanding in child and also community standards. My guess nude bath with child will be unacceptable Australian community standard...any comments?? Child grooming is also a crime - Actions deliberately undertaken with the aim of befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child to lower the child’s inhibitions in preparation for sexual activity with the child.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Some places every one is naked and bath to get her. Some kiss each other on the lips even men. Some same gender hold hands. When growing up I would go stay at my friends house and they were nudist. My family were not but my dad was a pretty liberal guy. Beware the Christian prudes who do far more than you think but cover their tracks. We all get suspicious of nudity and affection not every thing leads to abuse or sex. You would be shocked to know how much mother daughter and sister fantasy is on the phone sexline. Let's not confuse that with the reality of actual abuse. People that do it are less vocal about there predatory activities. I am naked around my girls my husband would shower with the kids till one grabbed him he Nealy died of fright and pain. My dad was a single dad and I would take a shower even if he was in there shaving. It was my step mother who said we can't be doing that! Till that point I never even worried about naked but she made me fell ashamed of being naked after that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
not to demonise a man based on a few lines of text. There are countless versions of what's really going on with him and his daughter but only one version is the truth. Everything else is just speculation and speculation can be harmful. I knew a man who was accused, quite casually, of molesting his daughter. While the accuser was a bit of a loose cannon and I believe didn't pursue it, I watched the harm unfold as his daughter changed towards him and he suddenly had to second-guess everything he did. Their intense and delightful bond was hurt, just like that. It was utterly heart breaking and so incredibly unjust. DG, I'm pleased you raised an alternative viewpoint. I'd add one element to what you said though. I believe that where there is such a strong parent/child bond and it does include physical affection and occasional nudity, the parent has a responsibility to know when to stop it. I don't believe that all children will know for themselves. Children are swayed by their adoration for their parent, confusion about changes to their bodies and urges, fear of change and so many other things. Children, including young teenagers, don't always understand the consequences of things, including future consequences. I have certain vivid memories of my father from my pre-teen years that still disturb me. They shouldn't because they were completely harmless but they do because I saw them at a very impressionable age. It completely changed how I viewed him - from my father to a sexual man - and I was to young to process that changed view meaning I've never lost the sense of him being slightly creepy. As I said, I strongly believe that parents have the responsibility and obligation to not expose children to unnecessary confusion at an age that's already completely confusing. So I agree a bond can be very strong and the physical intimacy can be harmless for a time, but I don't think the child always knows when that time's up. - Posted from rhpmobile
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flashjack7
12 years ago
Many of you have already pointed out that the actions of this man MAY be innocent. We don't know the full story and are not in a position to judge. HOWEVER, I know I would feel much better making a report to authorities that led to nothing, than not making a report that could have ended an abusive situation for a child. Mrs F xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'lilmiss_fussy' I knew a man who was accused, quite casually, of molesting his daughter. While the accuser was a bit of a loose cannon and I believe didn't pursue it, I watched the harm unfold as his daughter changed towards him and he suddenly had to second-guess everything he did. Their intense and delightful bond was hurt, just like that. It was utterly heart breaking and so incredibly unjust. DG, I'm pleased you raised an alternative viewpoint. I'd add one element to what you said though. I believe that where there is such a strong parent/child bond and it does include physical affection and occasional nudity, the parent has a responsibility to know when to stop i My father was not ashamed of his body....he did not hurt us.....but after a recent allegations found to be unfounded also in our family said family member said he had noticed daughter now shy and protective of her nudity...he worried was this because of false allegations or is she just growing up. Innocence lost. or growing up ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Seems weird to me, why would you even tell a stranger that? Then block them? It is weird, a teenage girl with her father in bed kissing and cuddling? He obviously does that enough to comment on it... I don't think it's right.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think people should not jump the gun on this one as we all know very little of the true context of the situation. I highly doubt a pedophile would tell a stranger of his actions so he can be reported +investigated. In my family it is normal to kiss everybody on the lips +I have spent many nights as a girl/teen reading in bed with my Pop +/ Nan +having a kiss +cuddle. I also used to know a girl whose brothers used to walk around the house naked after school, should we start calling the mother a pedo for allowing them to dangle their cocks about where she can see!?? Just seems a little ridiculous. Nudists colonies also allow families to live on site so there is absolutely nothing wrong with healthy, mature adults +healthy, mature children socialising naked. Nude is nothing to be ashamed of +shunned. +well spas are generally a place where people can be naked +it socially acceptable. I have had vanilla nude spas where no hanky panky has occurred-it is possible +normal in many cultures. This could be a classic case of child abuse or it could that they have an amazingly open, loving, close +mature family. Without more details we are all just hypothesising. There are two sides to every coin-just some food for thought people... =) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi.kokoflamingo I too hope you got the chance to report this father...naked spas and sleeping together in bed between father and daughter isnt appropriate.he needs help and police would act on this if reported. Go on you for telling him so. I do court support work and have heard all sorts of abuse .thats not a healthy situation. Sex between consenting adults is vastly different and this creepy father sounds as if his engaging or about to embark on incest..very tragic . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'imnotintogames'this creepy father sounds as if his engaging or about to embark on incest..very tragic . - Posted from rhpmobile That's an incredibly big assumption to make based on the little information we have, and the fact that we know nothing about the circumstances. Because in our culture nudity is generally equated with sex, we automatically see this as something sinister. But as some people have pointed out, other families and cultures have different ideas and views on nudity and it is not automatically a prelude to sexual activity. I'm not saying there isn't anything to be worried about here, maybe there is and yes it probably needs further investigation by people qualified to do so, but the fact is that nobody commenting on this thread has near enough information to come to a conclusion one way or another. This is a perfect example of how the 'mob mentality' starts and people appoint themselves jury without knowing any facts. Quite a few people on the receiving end of this type of judgement have been erroneously accused and had their lives ruined for no good reason.
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RHP User
12 years ago
There are other ways to bond with your kids? What culture is it that says it's ok to sit in the spa naked with your kids? If it's little ones, say under 5yrs old or so then yeah you can bath with them,nothing to so with culture....just different parenting ways But I would draw the line from kids 6yrs and up. Why sit in the spa naked with your kids? No swim suits? And how come you kid would see you naked coming out of the shower? What happened to towels? I'm not saying this father is wrong but if one sees something fishy or dodgy, it's not up to us to judge but to report to the police and let them assess. It's better that way just in case there really was abuse and at least you would have helped and if there was nothing then hey, no harm done All you would have said is you suspect something, not that you're sure there's abuse going on - Posted from rhpmobile
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