F43
Being neglected
August 24 2019
I suffer from major depression, this has made it much worse and my confidence has gone downhill. I'm being left out now by both of them and i don't know what to do. This looks l like I'm whining and attention seeking...But this is the situation.
- Posted from rhpmobile
Comments
MsJonesy
5 years ago
Recognise and act on the message you have received. It is over. Send them a polite message saying it is not working for you anymore, and you won't be seeing either of them again.
It is time for you to protect yourself; if it is impacting on your mental health you need to end it. You may never know why they are acting the way they are, but it is their issue not yours. Time for some serious self care, time to distance yourself from them and look after you.RHP User
5 years ago
I agree with MsJonesy. Whatever their issues are, they are their issues and it sounds to me, for whatever reason, this is on the downhill slide. It may be the wife is getting jealous or plenty of other reasons, but don't get caught up in that
pussywillow26
5 years ago
Run for hills
Now
Before u r a casualty
of there
Shit
Everything has expiration date
If u suffer depression
An the writing is on the wall
Save yr self no will save uRHP User
5 years ago
Most precious thing in your life is you.
You are better off without such people. You don’t need them, in fact, you need to get rid of those who don’t return your love, affection and interest.
Poly relationships by nature are significantly different from “open relationships” or any other relationships that are popular at RHP.
So probably this is not the best place to bring this up but being in poly relationships myself in the past, I know that attention and affection are crucial to keeping relationships alive.
If someone is not providing you with these, it means they cut of the lifelines of that relationship and they lost interest.
I suggest you seek professional help for your depression since it’s badly affected by this, and remove toxic relationships from your life, so that you are emotionally and mentally more healthy and happy.
You are not alone, these things happen to lot of people.
Just remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea, you are the most important person in your life.RHP User
5 years ago
As above
It is definitely time to move on. They have obviously made their choice for whatever reason. You need to take care of you. Staying in a situation that is fuelling your depression is never a good thing.
ITEOTWAWKI
5 years ago
Hey SoakedPuss,I think that the advice given so far is spot on. Sadly it does appear the relationship you had is gone. And that does and will have a detrimental effect on your emotional well-being. As it would on anyone. If they are not wanting to communicate what is happening then that is pathetic behavior on their part. Don't allow their behavior to make you doubt who you are and your value. Sometimes we have to let go of things in our lives that are not healthy or helpful for us. No one can make that decision except you. Look after yourself first and foremost. I wish you all the best.
DynamicCouple36
5 years ago
They are married
And as such you will always be seen as “the other woman” . That is the danger of a poly relationship.
How long were they together & married, before you came along?
You need to accept what has happened, and move on, as hard as it is.RHP User
5 years ago
Have to agree. The relationship is over. Time to pick yourself up and move on
RHP User
5 years ago
It is unfair how they are treating you. Yes you are the third person and will always be the extra but they welcomed you into their relationship and you all had fun. Now, however things have changed for them and they haven't even had the decency to let you know. Instead they have just frozen you out leaving you hurt and confused. Unfortunately some people just use you and toss you aside when no longer required, with no thought to how emotionally invested you've become.
Try to move on hun as it's affecting you mentally. It's not you, it's them, that are the problem.DynamicCouple36
5 years ago
OP
In your post you state “ was frozen out by her for 2 months, so my partner had to see me and keep me company “
Is your partner her husband ? Or is your partner someone else? If someone else, did you have your partner for the 2 years that you were seeing the married couple ?RHP User
5 years ago
I met a poly couple at a social night, they were explaining their relationship. They had a chart drawn up in the kitchen so that they didnt get dates mixed up. For example, one of the wifes boyfriends was on holiday so they juggled hubbys other dates around so she could see more of him. Then hubby said that his girlfriends husband was meeting another lady on one of the nights so he wanted to see her. They were so matter of fact about it. I dont think Id like to be a star on a chart. I know not all poly relationships are like this, but it really didnt appeal to me. It sounds like you outlived your use....or the husband was getting feelings for you. Make yourself number one, always.
MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
I'm glad you asked those questions, cause I was about to post something similar along those lines too. I couldnt make out which partner it was.
Ms Foxy
FeistyFatty
5 years ago
This is quite confusing. As you're not the primary partner/relationship (I dont think).... why not just leave them to it? Are they happy with each other, or is the whole show falling apart?
RHP User
5 years ago
From their actions it sounds like there isn't much for you in their lives. Have you asked either of them as to what is happening or what has changed? Was everything you had with them just a sexual thing or was there feelings that were stronger for one person than the other? A lot of things can drive a change in the dynamics and if neither of you want to communicate and work on what is not working then there isn't much hope for anyone. Unfortunately for you it is harder as you are the invited one in this situation and it's no doubt difficult when it involves a couple. All I can suggest is to see if they are willing to talk about it and work things out otherwise I would look after yourself first and foremost. You are special too. Take care lovely and I hope it all works out for you
DeeRHP User
5 years ago
Can't people just have normal relationships anymore, the world gone mad.
Obi1kenietzsche
5 years ago
A BIG statement “Hung”, particularly on here. What’s “normal” to you mate?
This is one of those threads where one should probably keep narrow mindedness and insular thoughts to themselves eh?
Obi1RHP User
5 years ago
This woman does have mental health issues herself. So that's a no brainer. However there is no excuse for rudeness like that.
RHP User
5 years ago
Thanks everyone for the advice :)
RHP User
5 years ago
#1 - Are you ok?
#2 - You need to look after you. Depression doesn't operate on a sliding scale. You already know that when the black dog has a grip it's really difficult to get out of its jaws.
#3 - It isn't anyone's place to tell you to run out stay - that needs to be your call, but ask yourself this question: Are you getting the love and support you need AND deserve?
Once you answer that - you know what you need to do. We are all here to support whatever you decide.RHP User
5 years ago
Recently out of a 2.5 year (monogamous) relationship myself I feel your pain and confusion. Though we had discussed involving a third party it never eventuated. Though I felt we had more to discover and so become more secure and cemented ourselves I guess she needed more than I could stimulate and provide...Oh well life goes on...Be true to yourself and be your best friend in the world...Please don't cheat the person looking back from your mirror.Also note (to quote a song) "Every new beginning comes from an old beginnings end"Hugs Kisses and Best Wishes...
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