M37

Backfired

April 01 2020

A few nights ago me and Mel Kaye’s in bed after fucking and the topic of three some came up And it usually does but then after 14 years of my wife telling me she wants to have a dp.. so I join a swingers site.I was hellbent on making this happen, and then I guess quietly hoping she enjoyed and would then want to try other things..

She wants to leave me because I signed up too this site we have had trust issues and have tried multiple ways to build trust but never works.. I thought letting each other join the lifestyle would create a new period where there is nothing we can’t or don want to put on the yable

- Posted from rhpmobile

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Rlee552
4 years ago
Hello

There is a bit to unpack with your statement. I think you will find most couples who are successful and enjoy this lifestyle have a common thread of trust and communication between each other.

I wish you the best of luck and if you are looming for advice, suggest you have an open conversation with your wife about why you did what you did. If you have made a mistake, then own it rather than try to justify it and move on.
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EarthQueen
4 years ago
.

Fantasy is one thing, but actually actioning it and joining a site (at the moment) I would be sceptical too if I was your wife. You logically wouldnt be meeting anyone safely for potentially months? You didn't even discuss it with her first?
Trust is built slowly and toppled in an instant. Opening your relationship up without it won't work. You also sound pushy. That's guaranteed to turn her off.
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teamaj2
4 years ago
Hubby !
There is obviously more than one way to navigate any relationship and this lifestyle . I can only give you our thoughts .
Firstly, you say you have trust issues , you joined RHP and now your wife wants to leave you . There is many things I could say . The first that comes to mind is your joining RHP without discussion with your wife first . When we joined, we sat down together wrote, rewrote and edited our profile many times over . For us , we are in this together . Everything is transparent, there is no secrets and no need for insecurities .
I’m sure you love your love your wife so I’d suggest going off RHp for the moment . Gaining some trust , stabilising your relationship, discuss your fantasies , BOTH having input into your profile discussing wish lists and what you want to experience. These of course are fluid with experiences and time .
Goodluck .
A
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FeistyFatty
4 years ago
Wow!!! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
Joining a swinger site (especially as a solo) is not a bandaid for a struggling relationship...... Its a grenade. And your wife pulled the pin by the sounds. Suprising to see you still on here though when she had such a devastating response to your joining..... maybe that says alot too.
Best of luck to you both, I hope you get some professional help and back on the right path for you both.
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Mischeviouslad
4 years ago
There are clearly far bigger underlying issues underneath this story than just reaction to joining a website

Im not going to offer or even suggest counsel.... too many relationships lay crumpled on the pathway exiting a counselling session

But the obvious thing that can be observed in your post and profile is the frequency of the word “I”..... when subjects and decisions involving your partner should be referenced with “we”
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MsSuperFoxy
4 years ago
YOU have a responsibility to your wife. The problem is YOU are "hellbent" on making this happen, and then YOU guessed quietly hoping she would enjoy and would then would want to try other things.

It is YOU. By joining up here ALONE without your wife have indeed removed her choice. There is a problem if YOU do not understand why your wife wants to leave.

Ms Foxy
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86Jasindy
4 years ago
👏well said foxy
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Tall74nHard9
4 years ago
sounds like the communication channels are not fully open. Also, though, it appears you have been experiencing issues long before joining the site - what have you (both) done in trying to address those issues ? (Have tried multiple ways to build trust but never works). Sounds like there are deeper issues to be resolved than just simply looking for extra sexual activities.
What other avenues have you tried to resolve your wifes wishes for dp - are there possibilities within your local community ?
Tall
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RHP User
4 years ago
That's what I did with my partner and we had a lot of fun filling in the form together. I've had experience in the scene before but she's completely new, she has a lot of fantasies but she's still unsure if she wants to act on them. All I have done is shown her the door but I'm putting absolutely no pressure on her to walk through it.

I want her to find her own path, our sex life is absolutely amazing at the moment with just us two! So I feel there's absolutely no rush to go further until it feels right.
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RHP User
4 years ago
Ya know...you can go a DP with toys right??

Mr dragon
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MsSuperFoxy
4 years ago
Thank you

Ms Foxy x
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nevahadsomuchfun
4 years ago
Some people clearly can't get over them. It ma even not be from your relationship but a past one like my ex. I couldn't deal with the restrictions that had on everyday parts of life let alone trying to suggest a site like this back then. Hence she is an ex. Just boils down to whats important to you. There are partners out there that are very chilled out and not the jealous type... but they get snapped up pretty quick!
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Sawadee
4 years ago
The issue was there even before you decided to join a swingers site.? Also seems your wifes mindset is to reject anything you might suggest. For any relationship to survive ' you at least need to be on a level playing field and open to listening as well as talking.. especially when your wanting to join a site like this.

But it is a two way street.. lf its only you making suggestions without some sort of support , you'll always be fighting a loseing battle and leaving yourself wide open for criticism, plus a easy out for your wife .
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AnnieWhichway
4 years ago
You mention trust issues?

If you have form then it all makes sense. May be it comes across as you wanting it more than her. You may have proved proved her thoughts about trust.

Suggest you have a serious chat about which pieces of furniture you want. Custody of the dog and cat because you have zero chance of swinging in that relationship. Accept it, change your desires or move on.
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curiousgirl35
4 years ago
Your profile is for you, not a couples profile and you arent even seeking what was asked for ( threesome with another man/dp). Also your profile name screams that you dont want to be married.
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RHP User
4 years ago
If you are in a relationship, then play as a team, this means both of you after talking about it and agreeing upon an approach then might look at what steps to take.That your profile is that of a single guy, it does suggest something other than what you claim to be seeking.
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RHP User
4 years ago
Call her bluff
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Tall74nHard9
4 years ago
Your profile says that you are separated, and also married.Which is it ???
Wishful thinking, or confused ?
Tall
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brotagtimez
2 years ago
Lets talk mate can make it happen
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brotagtimez
2 years ago
@justfrothfucking bro lets talk can defs make it happen
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