M36 F35
BDSM Beginners
October 17 2021
my partner has always expressed and interest in trying out BDSM, specifically starting out with submissive/being tied up/ spanked with riding crop etc and recently we have just started trying things out very softly.
I really want to make exploring this as pleasurable and secure for as I possibly can. I do struggle feeling confident in role play sometimes (love trying, just feel awkward in trying to execute it sexily for her sometimes)
I was hoping the community might be able to offer some pointers on good ways to experiment and some good resources to read/watch/attend/look at to help me make my partners first foray into BDSM as successful as possible? (i'm working under the assumption that anything I see on pornhub or in the movies is not a good source of info)
I'm especially looking for things to avoid as beginners and how to help her find her limits in a safe and respectful environment
Comments
MsSuperFoxy
3 years ago
Welcome
Check out on Spotify, "Kuldrin's Krypt A BDSM 101 podcast". It's fantastic. Talks about everything in there. Very, very educational.
Ms Foxy
Throathugs
3 years ago
Just start slow and keep a clear line of communication, never be afraid to express what you might enjoy or what is a hard limit and making you uncomfortable.
With bondage I would recommend starting with lighter bondage gear like cuffs or fuzzy hand cuffs and working up to chains and rope only after you have a clear understanding of the dangers there.
Impact play will involve some warming up and getting to know what your partner wants, you can try moving from some light hits then throwing in a harder one to judge a reaction.
Aftercare is key, take the time after you play to ensure your partner is in a good mental place and discuss how things went. (this can take many forms)
Always be honest about your experience level and work within it.EarlofRochester
2 years ago
I suspect you already know this (?), but whatever play you get involved in make sure you have appropriate safe words or signals so that the other party understands what the current state of play is, for example a very common one would be 'traffic lights' i.e. if it's green all good carry on, if amber/yellow you may want to slow down etc, if RED, STOP! Also as mentioned elsewhere after-care is SUPER important, it's also the best time to openly discuss how you both felt and what you did/didn't enjoy so that you can implement this the next time. Finally it's all about RESPECT, show that to each other & I'm sure you'll enjoy it more, good luck on your journey.
EroticKinkCoach
6 months ago
How's your kink journey progressing? You've received some great advice here. I'm passionate about educating others in this realm and holding them safely in their journey so boundaries are resoected. Feel free to reach out with any questions.
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