M64 F58
Are we wrong?
March 24 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hey D & B, we feel the same really, as isn't "playing" what we're all looking for. In saying that, we go along to the clubs and parties with an open mind, with no expectations as there has to be an attraction for us to play..
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RHP User
13 years ago
You know what gets by fucking goat Brett? Is men at swingers clubs that think they can just come up and touch women that are playing with other people without asking. Some men don't get it at all. Just because I am on RHP and attend swingers clubs does not make me easy, nor does it mean I will bonk anyone. I won't. This attitude shits me to tears!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
As for the social butterflies that don't come to play... I don't know, and I can't answer why you would go to a club or party where most people are doing that?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Have been to a few swingers clubs/parties... the first time was as nervous as all heck and thus didn't play (see the wall flower in the corner... that's the newbie). After the second or third time visiting I think it is fair to expect that someone would play if invited or make an invite... that's the whole point of going right? I may not be an Adonis but I have had a few invites and will play when invited as I hope others would. Is only courteous.
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Playful2looking
13 years ago
No you are not wrong. We have been to a lot of parties. Everyone stands around and gets horribly drunk then plays. Thats when the drunks go and grope wpmen without been invited. That said some women are shy or forget that it is a swingers party and will sit and talk for hours. Also sometimes its hard for us guys because we are trying to move things along. We have found the best way is to talk straight and ask them in a polite way do you want to have a play. Some freakout most will just say no thanks which is good because at least you have got a decission. Then you can decide whether they are just all talk and go home. Usually my wife and I will go and play by ourselves and leave the undecided to themsleves. We usually have spent some time dressing and my wife has put some sexy underwear on. So we will go play with each other occasionly people will sneak out to watch.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I attended a swingers club once, and I must say I was a little fearful of being expected to play on the first time attendance. Which, I might add, was put to rest by those also attending. However, I would like to point out, that some people, like to take their time and don't just want to rush straight into playing especially only being relatively new to the scene, is that a bad thing?? I should surely hope not, but as you said OP it's all good, different people feel ok at different times in playing, but I hardly think its a bad thing, I think it's just their journey is different to mine or yours, or joe bloggs up the road. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Just like not all people go to pubs to drink - it could be just to socialise, meet up with friends and chat. It would be wrong to assume all people are there to play - like one of the earlier comments each persons journey are different. - Posted from rhpmobile
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LemonDance
13 years ago
Practically never have I played at a swingers party when I've gone. Before going my intentions are to play, however just because I am there, it's definitely not a certainty!You see, it seems to always turn out that, there is never anyone there whom I'm attracted to, not in the slightest! The few times that I have attempted to have some play at a swingers party, was with someone I knew already & had planned to meet up with. Even then it's not how I imagined it to be, as I spent the whole time looking over my shoulder and warding off stray fingers and other unwanted pieces of anatomy coming at me from folk I didn't fancy! I do however enjoy socialising and chatting to new & interesting people. Oh and I am also a bit of a voyeur so it is still fun!I have now decided though, that these sort of things (for me) are best left to be fantasized about, as often the reality (for me) is not what I'd imagined it would be!
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
OP - I agree with you Meeka I also agree with you - just because I may go to swinger parties does not give all the men there an open invite to have sex with me.. No means no! Good topic btw
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RHP User
13 years ago
We are the same in that we prefer to have our fun early in the evening, mainly because come midnight we turn into pumpkins actually it is becuase we have to be parents again in the morning and we need our beauty sleep.Having said that we can understand people who are new to the scene going to a club with no intention of playing but just to meet and chat with other swingers, ask questions and learn more about it however these kinds of people need to realise that not all couples want to spend thier time 'counselling' newbies and they may not get the answers they seek.As for the private parties where nothing seems to happen until everyone is plastered and into the wee hours of the morning this is NOT cool for us, if you have to be plastered to play then you shouldnt be playing (in my opinion) as others have stated this is when things can get a little trashy and out of hand so we wouldnt play in that situation at all.When it comes to parties for us we tend to only attend ones where we know either the host or other guests already, that way we know that we have the same kinds of ideas as others who are going and we are going to have a great time. As for clubs we always go with the intention to play but with the expectation that we may only be playing with eachother At the end of the day everyone is here for different reasons, everyone goes to clubs and parties for different reasons so while you are not wrong in what you are saying the other types of people are also not wrong (if that makes sense)(Mrs)
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Mr_MrsJones
13 years ago
We have spent our share of time at clubs and some at parties. We have been fortunate that the parties we attend have been the 'lets get naked and fucking as soon as everyone is in the door' kind . I think this is mainly because the hosts have selected their guests carefully. Clubs however are a completely different kettle of fish. People go to clubs for a whole raft of reasons and they are all at different places on their journey. Mr Jones and I never go to a club with the specific intent of meeting a person to play. We have learned that this is generally a great way to end up frustrated and dissapointed. That is not to say that we don't shop and sample what is on offier if the opportunity arises. Our general intent when going to clubs is to get out of the house and socialise, we just don't say no if some sexy people come along with different ideas.
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DonnaBrett
13 years ago
Don't misunderstand the intial question guys. We in NO WAY condone guys just helping themselves to a grope or having the expectation that just because they're in a swingers' environment that it 'entitles' them to action. Also we don't expect that at the ring of a bell everyone HAS to get naked & bang the person next to them...but saying that the parties where guests are selected because they play like Mr_Mrs Jones mentioned are the most fun. Clubs are a totally different thing, very hit & miss. We know that so many people just go to socialise (baffles us why anyone would spend the dollars to do that but again, that's freedom of choice).However, the part of our initial question which was the main point was this " if we are at one of those drawn out oh so boring & no action parties and we just happen to luckily meet someone who thinks the same way as us and we all go off and play and then leave the party afterwards because.. ...well, the mission has been accomplished (so to speak LOL), is that a bad thing? " In that situation should the hosts have cause to be cranky with us because we played? We thought that was the point LOL Don't invite swingers to a what appears to be a swingers' party if you don't want people playing.... it's very confusing??
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't ever have any expectations of other people. I just don't. I'm never disappointed either. I go to a party to meet different people and if I'm in the mood ... I'll play... and then some! If I get the smallest inkling of a bad vibe, whether it's touching without asking or just having unrealistic expectations then I'm afraid it's a ... NEXT!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
No I wouldn't say that was a bad thing Brett. And I wasn't suggesting you were condoning people helping themselves without asking. I was just piggy backing off your comment and decided to say what annoys me about swingers clubs. :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
the host was cranky because you played? Oh dear, now that is confusing!!! Was it really a swingers party?
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DonnaBrett
13 years ago
Yes apparently so...we heard about it on the swingers' grapevine lol. It's probably over a year ago now but obviously still a sore point. A swingers party advertised on RHP events we would assume meant just that, (afterall there were bedrooms set up for it etc.) and so did the couple we played with and seeing as no one else was playing and us four wanted to.. we did. If other people weren't interested in getting down to it, it's not our fault LOLQuoting 'paintme' the host was cranky because you played? Oh dear, now that is confusing!!! Was it really a swingers party?
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RHP User
13 years ago
You know what you's want & you know how you's like it I like that ... Don't Question It Absolutely nothing Wrong with It :) As for a Swingers Party where host gets Cranky because you's have Played ... That is the most ridiculous thing ...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'DonnaBrett' Yes apparently so...we heard about it on the swingers' grapevine lol. It's probably over a year ago now but obviously still a sore point. A swingers party advertised on RHP events we would assume meant just that, (afterall there were bedrooms set up for it etc.) and so did the couple we played with and seeing as no one else was playing and us four wanted to.. we did. If other people weren't interested in getting down to it, it's not our fault LOLQuoting 'paintme' the host was cranky because you played? Oh dear, now that is confusing!!! Was it really a swingers party? A cranky host of a swingers party because you swung ... ??? Spot on Jensta, ridiculous .... NEXT!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
apart from video hits in the lounge room and Yeager bombs in the kitchen, it seems you 4 were the only form of 'real' entertainment that night, no wonder they got shitty when you left ~smiles~
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DonnaBrett
13 years ago
LOLQuoting 'ScratchyandItchy' apart from video hits in the lounge room and Yeager bombs in the kitchen, it seems you 4 were the only form of 'real' entertainment that night, no wonder they got shitty when you left ~smiles~
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DonnaBrett
13 years ago
Hmmm...obviously you guys were there?? Quoting 'ScratchyandItchy' apart from video hits in the lounge room and Yeager bombs in the kitchen, it seems you 4 were the only form of 'real' entertainment that night, no wonder they got shitty when you left ~smiles~
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Ice_Fire'We are the same in that we prefer to have our fun early in the evening, mainly because come midnight we turn into pumpkins actually it is becuase we have to be parents again in the morning and we need our beauty sleep.Having said that we can understand people who are new to the scene going to a club with no intention of playing but just to meet and chat with other swingers, ask questions and learn more about it however these kinds of people need to realise that not all couples want to spend thier time 'counselling' newbies and they may not get the answers they seek.As for the private parties where nothing seems to happen until everyone is plastered and into the wee hours of the morning this is NOT cool for us, if you have to be plastered to play then you shouldnt be playing (in my opinion) as others have stated this is when things can get a little trashy and out of hand so we wouldnt play in that situation at all.When it comes to parties for us we tend to only attend ones where we know either the host or other guests already, that way we know that we have the same kinds of ideas as others who are going and we are going to have a great time. As for clubs we always go with the intention to play but with the expectation that we may only be playing with eachother At the end of the day everyone is here for different reasons, everyone goes to clubs and parties for different reasons so while you are not wrong in what you are saying the other types of people are also not wrong (if that makes sense)(Mrs)Very well said, sums it up perfectly....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Different people have different strokes when it comes to playing, weather at a club or party. We attended a party about 2yrs ago and you guys were there. We all chatted for a while then the host organised some games and so on to get the mood flowing. As the night went on some did play, some didn't..we didn't, why?, nobody took our desire to so we ended up leaving early and eventually caught up with a couple we met there a few weeks later for some fun. We don't give a hoot what anyone thinks of us if we don't play if we attend parties or clubs, as we're the type of couple that don't just get it on because we are there and its expected. Welike to fuck people because we have an attraction to them and them us..Simple really! To answer your question guys....Nope, theres nothing that states you must hang around till the end..Some people like to eat and run.. :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Do you remember when you were a kid, all covered in spots, with braces and ridiculous punky brewster hair?You had a birthday party, meticulously planned and you invited your friends from the book club. You also invited a couple of the cool kids, too (because, you know, you hoped to increase your standing).Your friends all turned up right on time, and you had a good time, but it was a bit dull. Then the cool kids turned up - late, and not giving a hoot.They ate all the cheezels, and drank all the creaming soda. They instigated a game of spin the bottle (oh my god... poor katie from next door got down to her bra!!!).And then they left. As abruptly as they came.When they left, you were left with a boring party. And no cheezels.You were pissed off, right? Right!Dunnno.... maybe they thought you were the cool kids?
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RHP User
13 years ago
We go with a sense of anticipation of playing, mostly fulfil that anticipation, sometimes not. We have never experienced unwanted touching and found most guys respectful enough to ask if they can join in. We do enjoy our playtime though and try to make the most of our limited opportunities whilst keeping to our expectations.....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'You know what gets by fucking goat Brett? Is men at swingers clubs that think they can just come up and touch women that are playing with other people without asking. Some men don't get it at all. Just because I am on RHP and attend swingers clubs does not make me easy, nor does it mean I will bonk anyone. I won't. This attitude shits me to tears!! respect for others in and out of a swingers matters. I like to watch , I like to go to swingers and interact with people , but I do agree its booring as bat shit if it turns out to be a sausage fest with naked people around a bbq. sydney couples club was the best I have seen, and I went to vegas and saw a few there. they got into it right away the few i have seen in perth, well I fell asleep on the counch watching porn the last time , I could have done that at home
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