F59
Apparently it's OK to abuse female members who say "no thanks"
May 27 2016
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
What a wanker. Didn't anyone ever tell him no means no. Some of them react badly, the very reason I don't reply to flirts or messages unless I'm interested. I've had a few lash out at me and it's really upsetting, very unsettling. Even though you know they don't mean what they say, the words still hurt. It's gutless behavior. Did you know you can block from your block list, so copy their user name, go into your lists, then into your block list, and at the top, there is an icon to block a user. It's the only way to block someone who has already blocked you/me, I discovered. I had guys looking at my profile but had me blocked and wanted to block them. Why should they get to perv at my pictures late at night and not show themselves to me? But I didn't know how to do it without being able to go into their profile. One of the girls on here gave me the tip one day to do it through you block list, handy to know. Sorry this happened to you. Shame they don't all know how to be respectful
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RHP User
10 years ago
... not on to abuse any member for making a simple choice based on what they perceive in a profile, text chat or even phone conversations. I commend you for making an effort to respond, there are those of us that appreciate it and try to do the same in return with some form of clarity. Non-selection aka rejection of both males and females is simply part of the turf in any form of social media. If you have blocked this fellow and have reported it to admin, you have done all you can and hopefully this experience will neither put you off nor be repeated. Best always... enjoy.
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MissBishere
10 years ago
It's the main reason I rarely reply to messages if I'm not interested. The abuse is more demoralizing than any rejection and they become some horriid in the things they say. No I don't think it's acceptable but I've learnt it's part and parcel of being on a site like this. People and can say what they like on line. I wouldn't let it stop you from using date finder though, nice guys use it to.
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MissBishere
10 years ago
Bloody typos and spelling mistakes but you get what I meant
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Smilingwithfun
10 years ago
Have been on here for a few years. I did when first on here try to figure out why people send abuse to a polite reply. I have now come to the conclusion that you can't explain the unexplainable. There is good & bad in here as in life & its best to just look for the good.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
It accelerates response. No different to normal day to day responses i guess in far as dickheads are out there. Its a good tool But as with any tool collection, the bad tools seem to be in the same tool shed. Put them back in and close the door.
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RHP User
10 years ago
(if there is one) it confirms that you were on the right track when declined the drop-kick's offer in the first place. It's almost worth declining everyone who sends a message and then selecting from those whose don't respond like a f-head. It's not something anybody here should put up with. - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
10 years ago
And happens fairly often. The guy in chat (had a penis photo as his profile pic) sent us a private room chat request. We politely declined asking if he had read our profile wording and also stated that we prefer not to private chat with guys who have penis pics as their main profile photo. A barrage of threats and hate followed . He furthermore stated that as this was a sex site we must be prepared to accept penis photos and requests for sex as this was not E harmony !! Sadly Freo, some people on here have a sense of entitlement. They feel that they are entitled to get sex, on a silver platter, through this site. They are highly disrespectful to the women on here , in essence treating them like "cum buckets " who will open their legs on command . Perhaps as this is an adult site, they see the woman on here as easy sluts ? Or perhaps they get so horny & frustrated looking at the photos , that their behaviour is negatively affected ? But there are also some really nice, respectful non pushy people on here. We have met several, some of whom we have become good friends with and see fairly often. So don't give up. Have fun and enjoy the chat & other interactions. Perhaps add some wording to your profile stating that disrespectful, antisocial behaviour will not be accepted nor will unsolicited advances. That way the bad apples will have been "pre warned " that if they misbehave they will be introduced to your block button. There is no excuse for aggressive & disrespectful behaviour & harassment on here , sex site or not . - Posted from rhpmobile
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aussian43
10 years ago
I have no idea what people are thinking to abuse someone like that. Maybe in their twisted minds they think "she will think this is a big strong alpha male, maybe I will let him screw me after all"? Instead of thinking what a loser this guy in, keyboard warrior hiding behind the internet where the woman can't kick him in the nuts for being abusive. I have to admit I actually prefer silence. I have only ever received a handful of rejection messages, so it is always exciting to see a message come in. Finding an actual rejection is a low blow. But no point in fighting, the numbers are against men on here. I just close it and move on. I suppose keeping paid members and the service online is more important than booting out the abusive element who drive the ladies away with their behavior.
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Tall74nHard9
10 years ago
Pretty much everyone has covered the bases. Unfortunately you'll get guys who think far more with their little head than their big head, and you'll get that type of uncalled for behaviour. I haven't used the datefinder function, but please don't let this poor experience deter you in future if it still appeals. There genuinely are plenty of decent guys on site here. Tall
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RHP User
10 years ago
Freo girl Sadly its all over this site and no doubt others. I've never copped so much abuse from polite declines as what I have, since I've rejoined . Now I rarely reply unless the person has made a effort to read my profile and is polite. Its just a reflection to how people are in RL, I believe You've done all you can, block, report and move on For me the scary thing is that these men (and women too) are people that we live with, work with, stand next on the train with, interact at the bank with, smile at in the shopping aisle etc but they are only their true self's behind a computer screen Don't give them any more power by thinking about this, just be true to yourself and tell yourself you dodged a massive bullet.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Well Freo I mostly get no response at all so I take No Thanks as a win! :-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Just another blowfish in a sea of mermaids. Never let one dickhead spoil your experience on here. I actually pity men like this, they have no respect for woman and more than likely one for themselves either. As for admin.....pfft. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
There has been a lot of topics on why don't people reply. Freo what happened to you is why. for most of us we like to send a polite response. But for some reason we cop so much abuse if it's a No Thanks. I would never ignore someone in real life but experiences on here have made me be rude and just ignore messages/flirts from people that don't appear to match what I want. But abusive messages do help us weed out the undesirables
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RHP User
10 years ago
there's no excuse for abuse in any way, shape or form whether on-line or in the real world but there is a very real role for respect - its all important its not just an issue of 'no means no etc' in sexual situations its also how we should all relate together as individuals guess, on-line is just like the real world in so very many ways we've had our (small) share of dickheads on RHP - why are they always, in our experience, male? guess thats a bigger issue!
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nattyocean
10 years ago
and is why now I hardly reply with a thanks but no thanks as I'm not about to continue to be abused by men who feel they have a sense of entitlement to treat women, who for all intensive purposes are actually just taking ownership of their sexuality instead of how they (being the people who respond with a tyraid of abuse) instead see being nothing but whores and should be at their ready access as requested. Sorry if this sounds bitter but recently, unfortunately again, this is my experience and makes me question this site and how it markets itself in contrast to public perception - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Some guys consider themselves to be a prize catch and struggle to figure out why anyone would turn them down. We all get them, but there are also some really nice guys in here and it's a bit like gardening. Locate the weeds, take them out and enjoy the beautiful blooms.
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RHP User
10 years ago
We are always polite if a couple or lady says no thanks but we have experienced the same thing with single guys persisting to ask why did we say no to them. A recent point was when I was in Melbourne for work and my partner at home. The guy was very persistent in wanting to see my other half after I told him I was away! You don't deserve to be abused by anyone ever. I think the issue lays with a lot of people being unable to communicate or have empathy for other people. We receive crude messages that don't even deserve a reply. For us it's about connection with another couple or girl not us wanting to feel like it's a impersonal affair. There are a few stuck up couples who sometimes send a condescending comment like my partner doesn't have big enough boobs which is astounding. Childbirth does things to a woman's body and I love her for that. Be strong and polite and remember it takes a lot to put yourself out there n such a Intimate way! We love the forums
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RHP User
10 years ago
My experience of online 'dating' sites is that it is a 'very confusing world '. If you thought the real world Was tough and you've retreated to this one. Then this one will test you even more. Forget the usual protocols. Generally (and this is a generalisation) unless it is very clear that the man is an absolute gentleman, just don't respond with a no thanks. Just don't respond. The gentleman will reply to your no thanks with a thanks for responding. The others will not be gentlemen whatever you say. Just look after number one until you meet someone who can step outside that way of being.
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RHP User
10 years ago
..between male entitlement and rejection! Ouch, not pretty! Unfortunate fact of life though for some and those they stumble across. They should view rejection as good character building exercise for a masochist streak! Er...speaking from experience.. lol Not good for you girls & couples though. I expect it's almost an exclusively male phenomena.... Ignore, block, next, don't waste any time thinking about it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
there are, it would seem, a lot of guys out there with very low self confidence issues and unfortunately they seem to manifest in ways that are inconvenient for those of us that don't harbor these issues, it is very inconvenient, chin, up, move on
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RHP User
10 years ago
My response is I will happily meet u with my cricket bat and friends, is it still on, where n wen, wear protection (I'm not talking about a condom). It seems to work...lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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nytewyng
10 years ago
a disrespectful, sh*t for brains, waste of space, oxygen thief with an entitlement attitude strikes again - and deservedly gets a no. Sorry to hear Freogirl. I deduce that as you've been on RHP for a decent amount of time, you will have encountered these arsehats and have summarily sent them packing. I hope that you've been able to take time to process this and put the issue firmly where it belongs - right onto Mr. Oxygen Thief. Stay the course.....
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