M52
Am I delusional?
September 14 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yeah.. .why couldn't you meet some one and have it develop into something long term, I don't get this attitude. There are a few couples, who met here.Stop listening to your mate, I think he may be delusional and uninformed.There are no guarantees in life or love, it may work out, it might not.though if you carry on with this bs and the insecurities she may just run.Think yourself lucky to have a shot at some real happiness and get on with it.Oh, and time you closed your profile. Good luck and happy days to you.Cheers Felonious
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think this is one of the most hurtful and insulting post I have come across not, not only do you insinuate that she is untrustworthy all women on this site are just sex starved sluts....I have know people who have met here and there will be many stories forthcoming and those have been happy relationships.Yours is doomed not because of her but YOU.
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RHP User
13 years ago
But you have to have trust. And so what if she's still got a profile on here? She may like perusing the forums, or have many friends that still message her on here. It doesn't mean she's gonna go out and fuck someone else.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Just hold that thought and leave your insecurities behind!!!I met my lovely partner on this site and we have been in a monogamous relationship ever since. We both kept our profiles open for different reasons. In my case as SacralChakra stated I like to peruse the forums and continue learning from other people's experiences.If you are unable to trust your partner only because you happened to meet her on this site your relationship is doomed
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RHP User
13 years ago
The main problem is that you clearly don't trust her. And isn't it a bit of a double standard that you are still on here? It would be tragic if you were both having a few trust issues and were both only logging on just to see if the other partner is. I don't really intend this to come off as a flame, can I suggest you talk to her about how you feel, perhaps even tell her you're feeling a little jealous and insecure. Honesty in communication can fix a lot of things. I have used this sig before, but I stand by it....."honesty, not helping me get laid, but it sure helps when you look in the mirror!"
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RHP User
13 years ago
you are still on here, aren't you?do you still have a profile, cause you are fucking around behind his back?what if she found your profile?what would she think?i rest my case....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sexual compatability is a great place to start, friendship, common values, common goals, respect and similar outlook on life need to follow. In my opinion, you have no more or less chance of a relationship starting here. Just look at all the strange stories that you hear about how people met. As for your trust issues.....I have been in monogomous relationships, including a long marriage, i've also been in non monogomous relationships. I could do either again, and probably will, BUT whichever way i go it will be discussed and agreed upon by both of us. You need to discuss your feelings with her and come to some agreement together....then put it behind you!
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RHP User
13 years ago
You are a contradiction in yourself, first of all you are listening to others and not yourself, what does it really matter what others think, perhaps they are jealous and is trying to sabotage your relationship, but remember it is a different sort of site so one can expect just that - however it is possible to form relationships but they are based on trust. On one hand you don't trust her, yet she is supposed to trust you, you are on this site? Yet the seed of doubt put in your mind by a so called friend. Perhaps you are not quite ready for a true relationship as you seem a bit possessive and obsessive and you are going to sabotage your own relationship by allowing yourself to be swayed by others opinions. Take a good hard look at you and your relationship and your lady friend. Why should she trust you if you don't even trust yourself, going on here is a true contradiction of your own accusations.
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RHP User
13 years ago
in her ,trust in yourself .Your friend whispering in your ear reminded me of a character from Shakespeare's Othello,Iago.Shakespeare wrote that nearly 500 years ago... a tale of a man who listened to his friend and didn't trust his blameless wife. I suggest this "friend" does not necessarily have your best interests at heart .Follow your heart and your instincts and trust,if you don't, then this relationship is probably doomed.
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RHP User
13 years ago
You get a more interesting crowd here than vanilla dating sites. I'm here for forums too, but if a woman comes along who ticks enough of my boxes, I'd give it a go. Why the fuck wouldn't I?If your wondering what she's up to, why not ask her? Start a conversation from her perspective. "Hey (insert name here), while I'm really committed to you, I still enjoy reading the forums on RHP. Maybe checking out a cheeky pic or two. I just wondered if you were uncomfortable with that? ...The bottom line is. If you meet a lady here's she's almost certainly sexually liberated. I think this is a great thing. But you better be confident enough to cope with that.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Maybe I detect a little jealousy from the mate? After all, you met your woman on a liberated sexy swingers site.. She must be awesome in bed!!I bet hes pulling his hair out wondering..~laughs~
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RHP User
13 years ago
i can't help but feel empathy for the lady you're seeing. Nuff said! best you turn up the heat on your bromance hey
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RHP User
13 years ago
People cheat and people lie ..and if cheating is in their DNA then nothing will stop them...it is what it is... I understand your concerns....Ive been there I met someone on here 4 years ago...we started as swing partners..somewhere long the way, we fell in love ??? and moved in and did the whole couple thing.....for 3 years.... However we both shift worked ...and after a few months...I found out (as you always do and always by accident) that he had a profile on another site....tears, confrontations and lots of self doubt..........he cancelled the profile..but then opened another. (this went on for two years and yes he cheated on me during that whole time..) ...but yes Ill be honest I was onto him and checked on him....in the end I ended it....partly because of his cheating which never really stopped in the whole time we were together..but mainly because I didnt like the person I was becoming..that in all honesty was the worst bit..the loss of me and who I had become When I asked him about his cheating..why he did it and did he realise how much it hurt me..his standard reply was..."We met on a sex site, what did I expect ?"...when we moved in together I guess I expected fidelity and open honest communication (we were still swinging too so its not like I wasn't open to having a possible open relationship with him but I wasnt given the the opportunity) So in answer to your question. yes I do think you can meet someone from here and have a full on loving trusting relationship - the key is to make sure you both want that...but then that would be the same if you meet someone in aisle 5 in Coles on a Saturday arvo.....both of you have to be honest and define your relationship and what is and isnt acceptable to you both - the key as with all relationships is open and honest communication My advice to you if your so into this women and "giving it go" ...then walk your talk..cancel your profile and take the leap of faith, as every potential relationships requires us to put aside our past experiences and go for it..yes be careful..learn from the past...l but also be open ..just because someone fucked you over before ..well the next person could be different and they should be treated and respected accordingly... If she keeps her profile open then Im sorry but thats her business....your either in or your out..... Our heart, ....relationships...love.....yep all big risks.....and we have all been battered and bruised......and everyone one of us has a tale to tell However.....I believe that every so often, planets do collide ...and you do meet the "Rite one".....imagine if you let your own issues/insecurties get in the way of "The One"...now whose fault would that be ??
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thanks all of you for your comments. I can see it is definitely my own trust issues which I didn't have until that little bird (the mate) getting in my ear. Perhaps he is jealous. I definitely don't consider all women to be sluts cuz they are on here... I believe the genders are equal in matters of sex and relationships and have actually found the woman on here have only strengthened this belief. So see you later people I'm deleting my profile. It's been a blast and very liberating to have been a part of this site. But now I'm going to take your advice and be true to myself and my new flame. It work work, it may not but that's life and ....it's definitely worth the risk. Enjoy! xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
I've been following the forums but have not logged in or posted for a while now....but I had to do so when I saw this post. Apologies in advance for lack of paragraphs - iPad issue. I signed on to an adult site when I moved to WA because I wasn't really looking for a relationship and found RSVP a bit too intense. I got on well with one of the first guys I met and we became regular bonk buddies. He was not looking for anything serious either - was focussed on his business and, although he'd separated from his wife for 2 years, just starting to put his toes back in the dating scene. We both saw other people. We didn't talk about our other experiences - he assumed I was having many, I assumed he was having few.....we were both wrong. He was the first to want something more and told me this after a month or so. I wasn't ready for a relationship and didnt think one would work between us anyway, so we continued as we were. A few months later I knew he was going to ask again and I realised that he meant more to me than having the ability to muck around. So decided to start a monogamous relationship and moved in together not long after. Were there trust issues? Yes. We almost broke up in the initial stages due to him (mistakenly) believing that I was still mucking round (like others on this thread, I was just here for forums). His reaction was to get back on line figuring if I wasn't going to be monogamous then nor was he. When I discovered what he was up to I was furious and hurt (particularly given he had been the one pushing for the relationship). We talked through it. I told him he HAD to talk to me when he had a problem. I struggled to trust him for a while after but I didn't let it simmer. If I was feeling insecure, I told him, so we could deal with it. This probably sounds like it was all a bit too much effort. But it was worth it. Our relationship is strong. I love him more solidly than anyone I've ever been with and that love just keeps getting bigger. I know he loves me too. If the foundations of a good relationship are there, then it can work. It doesn't matter how you met or what your pasts are. But you have to be open with each other and you have to trust each other. I am looking at my man lying next to me and I'm so glad he's in my life. Good luck.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Let's presume she's still a member... so are you! Maybe ask yourself... "can I be trusted then" If the answer is yes, then cut her and yourself some slack and just enjoy it for what it is. If your searching profiles to confirm she's still here, then that's not healthy... period! If your searching profiles because your mate has made you paranoid, then give him a flying headbutt... or, just take fossil's advice and don't listen to him.It's funny what life brings our way, whether it be temporary or permanent. I've developed a beautiful relationship with someone from here, there's no reason why you couldn't... sort your trust issue's out and give it a whirl.
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RHP User
13 years ago
you really got your name from picking your nose....didn't ya....come on you can tell us
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RHP User
13 years ago
i think the hot weather in the pilbara is effecting your brain... i write this only 200km from you, but you didn't know that!
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RHP User
13 years ago
if you're only 200K from me then you must in the middle of bumfuck and NO the weather is not hot yet you soft cock so my brain is in fine condition though ask me again tonight when im getting shagged by a hot cock...might put a new spin on the definition of hot weather as in steamy as well Hope your beers are on ice and your abiding to all the rules of life in bumfuck
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
Does the girl you are seeing know you are on here?? What is good for you should be good for her! Who is to say that you can't stay close friends and still see other ppl! Hear each other stories & experiences and still enjoy each other!!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Oh! Pleasuredome449. .You're Sabotaging what could be the Major relationship of your Life..Yes you Do have trust issues you've had them in former Relationships too .It's time to learn Positive lessons from Past Experiences over come grow move on ..you're acting like this is tooo good to be true an so is doomed to Fail..You'll be right ..You back up your doubts by Confiding in a Mate weho has I'm sure been in exactly the same situation as you has Past trust issues been online 1yr Met an awesome Woman grown to have feelings for her and want it to be a very successful R3elationship...HellNo!!! So why are you talking to and listening to his ill informed Opinion ..He has an agenda too you get with this Woman full time your time with him will lessen Remember that!! The Person you should be talking to is the only 1 who should be involved and have an important contribution to your doubts ..You New Lady Geez!!! Tell me if she is Online youer worst fears came true ..then it wasn't stable enough to be a longterm Relationship anyway ..You're lucky you found out before you invested everything in her your Future.. Most likely if she is it's as others have said .Shes catching up with Friends or has been too busy to close it..Why are you still on here the Forums you said well she could ber too..Mow if this is so she reads this you're Confessing your doubts to everyone else instead of talking and keeping it Private with her .Then how do you think she'd feel how good will your chances be of this Continuing... Stop!!!... Telling Your Friend none of his business infact he's a Neg influence on your Relationship for his own reasons not your welfare..... Stop!!! looking for her Profile ..wondering if she's playing.. Do!! Close your acct.... you can always return if you cotinue to be Foolish and untrustworthy it doesn't work out .. .Do!! focus on her not forums or her activities ..Do shared Activities in the real world ..You don't need to be here any longer .. Good Luck! Hun be a Man and face up to your Responsibilities to your New Lady ..and Your Budding Relationship Cheers Lu :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
So is that what a lot of men think? That women on RHP are incapable of being faithful? Or can't keep their clit in their pants? Bit insulting really.... but vanilla people have fucking weird ideas I tell ya!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Do YOU deserve her?? The answer is no.....the fact you're on here asking in the forums should you trust this woman. You're clearly a lost little sheep that needs to be led like a puppy dog.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I must start reading before commenting eh?? Lol
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