RHP

RHP User

M59

Advice please?

September 27 2014

An interesting situation occurred the other night, to which I would like some advice.I had been chatting to a single lady who sounded quite nice. We exchanged messages and some pic as one does including face pics. The face pics were really attractive, actually damm hot if you ask me! (and hers were quite nice as well).Anywho, we decide to meet for a wee drink, and she is fucking sexy! Confidernt, well dresseed, atriculate, witty and has a very sexy body to match. We meet, have a drink and a confortable chat which is lovely, and we go our separate ways after exchanging phone numbers with an understanding that we like each other and will meet again. All good.Then I get a text to say she wants me. She wants me now, hard and in everyway possible way! (I'm a liberal guy and so there is no anti-feminism sentiment if she wants to state what she wants.. so still all good!).She gave me her address and a time so I arrive as promised. There is a note on the door saying "Cum on up, Big Boy".Assuming she means me, I do so, and find a trail of postal notes leading to her bedroom. On the bedroom door is a note that says "cum in and shut the door!"). I do so, and when the lights turn on therte is her husband lying naked on the bed with a lifesize photocopy of her face attached over his with a piece of elastic band!.I am somewhat concerened at this turn of events so I try to open the door but it is dead-locked. WTF!!Fortunately I manage to escape out of the window and get back to my car before anything else happens.My Question is this...Does anyone think this was weird?I mean, who the fuck puts a dead-lock on a bedroom door? Obi1

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Axe murderer .......... - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Is this just another story?...was his name Percy?....if it's true and not another tale then you had a fortunate escape xxQ

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    but in this case, it sounds like you escaped the clutches of a women with evil intent. I wonder what happened to the Husband?

  • Tall74nHard9

    Tall74nHard9

    11 years ago

    about the deadlock !! Shit, I would have been much more concerned about the nude dude in the bed ! Not to mention the whereabouts of the subject female. LOL.She obviously slipped you a couple of ruffies (?) in your drinks without you realizing it, and not knowing what you were agreeing to. I bet that's the fasted you've moved in ages !Advice:- make sure you don't go back to the same place for drinks for quite a while. Seriously though, I can imagine the horror on your face with the complete reversal of what you were expecting. If you met her via social media, I would definitely post a warning there about her and her antics. Is it weird for a straight guy, absolutely. But it may have been a pleasant surprize for someone else who may not be - may have been the initiation of a "two for one". If it were me, I'm pretty sure there would have been a few broken bones around the place - and not mine ! Condolences - Tall

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I have to know, was the photocopy full colour? Black and white would have been a sure sign of a knife wielding psychopath. I'm just glad you got out with your Kenietzsche still attached to your Obi! People these days...

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    Then it's all but certain you would have noticed a cheese platter, no one ever explains the cheese platter and it's place, I mean when you walk into a room does the cheese platter just be there all by it's self?...... NO! I don't think so, it had to come from somewhere........... Anyhow Obi1, lucky you didn't lock your keys in the car, then you would have been in a real pickle. Oh, it's probably a good thing you bought this up, surely you will receive some wonderful advice. Mado Mado Tara xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    And: Q you suspicious sausage you! His name may well have been "Percy" (lol) but I didn't ask him. And yes Story, the photocopy WAS in colour! But it didn't matter as I saw right through his disguise. (He was naked after all). Maybe if he had sticky taped a photocopy of some girly bits over his tockley I might have been fooled (but not for long!). Obi1

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    And: Q you suspicious sausage you! His name may well have been "Percy" (lol) but I didn't ask him. And yes Story, the photocopy WAS in colour! But it didn't matter as I saw right through his disguise. (He was naked after all). Maybe if he had sticky taped a photocopy of some girly bits over his tockley I might have been fooled (but not for long!). Obi1

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Mado, thank goodness you remembered the cheese thing mate! I had completely forgotten to look for it. You are so right... No one notices the cheese platter do they?!!. You know, where it is positioned, what shape it is, the various types of fruit that may/may not be on it as well. Sorry, I can't shed any light on the platter though as I was out the window like a shot. I still would like to know if people think the whole thing was weird though. Obi1

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    You do have couples listed on your profile, so this sort of thing is bound to happen all the time. Maybe you just need to fine tune the screening a little. How hard is it to ask potential playmate/s about deadlocks, doors and or broomsticks. Communication is always the key to these sorts of things being a raging success or not.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    It is true:-) ...of course it is weird,...he certainly put himself at risk too....how high was the window Obi?...How did you know the lock was a deadlock?...Were there stairs leading to the bedroom?.... and have you contacted them to ask the question...WHY?...xx Q Marple:-) ...PS the mouse ate the cheeses:-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Screams axe murdering single guy to me !!! Glad you ran !! I would have too !!! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    11 years ago

    You asked "who the fuck puts a dead-lock on a bedroom door?" A locksmith of course. Foxy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Dear Ms "Qarple, so glad to have you on the case! It was a split level house in Tarragindi and the master bedroom was on the second floor at the rear. The stairs were normal carpeted stairs going up one level. The drain pipe I climbed/slid down was 100mm PVC I think and ended in a bush. I know it was a dead-lock because I know what they look like and I couldn't get the door open no matter how hard I tried. I have not re-contacted the lady concerned as yet. I am not really sure what to say (perhaps: "jeez THAT was fun..eh?"). Was it just a somewhat bizarre attempt at a threesome? Should I contact her(them) again at all? What if she was just a lure to get me there so her boyfriend could have a go? Help me Ms Qarpel!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Dear Ms "Qarple, so glad to have you on the case! It was a split level house in Tarragindi and the master bedroom was on the second floor at the rear. The stairs were normal carpeted stairs going up one level. The drain pipe I climbed/slid down was 100mm PVC I think and ended in a bush. I know it was a dead-lock because I know what they look like and I couldn't get the door open no matter how hard I tried. I have not re-contacted the lady concerned as yet. I am not really sure what to say (perhaps: "jeez THAT was fun..eh?"). Was it just a somewhat bizarre attempt at a threesome? Should I contact her(them) again at all? What if she was just a lure to get me there so her boyfriend could have a go? Help me Ms Qarpel!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Whay am I double posting everything! Aaaarrrrrrhhhh!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Whay am I double posting everything! Aaaarrrrrrhhhh!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You could have been attacked and murdered....at the very least report them....in actual fact they have committed a crime....luring you into a locked room ....deprivation of liberty if not kidnapping....now where is our Latin speaking lawyer when we need him hugs Qarple xc

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    Well that is right next to Yeerongpilly, rings a bell from the pirates quest 2 Maybe it's just a Queenslander thing.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Delicious, Why bring me into this. I am not an axe murderer. Obi1, if there is a deadlock on the door you either can not get in, or if you are able to open the door and enter the bedroom, then someone outside the door has to deadlock it after you enter, & you made no mention of hearing someone lock the door after you entered ? It also appears you have tried the door for several minutes, finding it locked and unable to escape, then presumably tried several windows to find one open so you can escape. In all this time what was the body doing on the bed, did he move, attempt to confront you, or had the wife done him in, possibly trying to frame you for the dirty dead ? SG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    And Yerongpilly is just accross the river from Indroopilly! Coincidence?....I don't think so!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    And Yerongpilly is just accross the river from Indroopilly! Coincidence?....I don't think so!

  • Lovinit28andKC72

    Lovinit28andKC72

    11 years ago

    Fuck you crack me up obi. You're the strange one, absolutely nothing weird about a dead-lock on the bedroom door, had one on mine for years.......💋

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    It seems you have developed a nervous tick through all this, are you double clicking on your clicker? Breath Obi1 son, breath. We shall get you through this all in good time.

  • Tall74nHard9

    Tall74nHard9

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' You asked "who the fuck puts a dead-lock on a bedroom door?" A locksmith of course. Foxy You are obviously not the handywoman of the house . Tall

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Or in a modern context, the bait and trap manoeuvre Advice ? seek professional therapy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Now please don't get me wrong. I am quite eclectic myself. I like to get about in fancy dress sometimes and am pretty non judgemental. I didn't feel exactly threatened (I am also six foot two and can handle myself quite well if required). I was just weirded out more than anything. I mean, no, it was not what I was expecting at all, and there may gave been a very good explanation. I just can't think of one. They could have just asked me in advance if they wanted to spice it up a bit!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Now please don't get me wrong. I am quite eclectic myself. I like to get about in fancy dress sometimes and am pretty non judgemental. I didn't feel exactly threatened (I am also six foot two and can handle myself quite well if required). I was just weirded out more than anything. I mean, no, it was not what I was expecting at all, and there may gave been a very good explanation. I just can't think of one. They could have just asked me in advance if they wanted to spice it up a bit!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Seems similar to ' Pycho " with the same imagination...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I reckon I really did...Reminds me.. a long time ago.. I used to be in a brothel... WITH A DIFFERENCE... I was a "Alternative Stud".. in that.. I used to dress up in animal suits.. and fantasy suits and stuff... UNFORTUNATELy.. MOST of the clientelle who used our premises.. were.. well... DIFFERENT... One day, I gets a call from the owner.. and she says... "Cavey old boy... We Need you iin the gorilla suit.. come in.. and get TIED to the jungle setting bench"I suited up and was tied.. well!! Soon thereafter.. a group of MUCH older ladies came in.. giggling and shit... and I thought.. "Thank fuck I viagra'd up" The women were working up a storm.. (They were Ladies Lawn Bowles Team) getting one of their own undressed and shit.. I was AMAZED at how.. well. VULGAR they actually were.. Through the slits in the suit eye sockets.. I saw a scene that froze me.. petrified me.. SCARED me.. HORRIFIED me... The woman was semi naked.. and lowering herself onto poor me, tied to the framework.. I started thrashing and calling out.. of course.. that just came out as Gorilla shit.. garbled shit.. JUNGLE shit.. and she went APESHIT!!! I shit you not people.. she WENT OFF..... I was nearly vomitting... in fact.. I DID vomit.. as they left the room... IT WAS MY MUM!!!!!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Is required to quell your curiosity and appetite

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    so this is a true story by all accounts? Fckn James Bond style for the get away.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    A sexy lady lady slipped me a rufie and I woke up in a strange bedroom,naked, with a picture of her over my face. I found my clothes, slipped out the open window. I quickly realised I was in Brissy so I got myself to the airport and flew back in time for work with a headache and as slightly sore arse. Are you sure that it was her hubby on the bed and that you slipped out the window straight away? I think it's time to go to the clinic again for tests.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Obi1Kenietzsche' Whay am I double posting everything! Aaaarrrrrrhhhh!!! Post traumatic stutter...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    It is my duty as a parent to mentally scar my children for life so I have no deadlock on my bedroom door, if they walk in on me, well that is their lesson that they need to learn to knock! lol Clearly I haven't scarred them enough, I brought home a male friend who slept on the couch and the next day my 18yo son tells me he thought he cock blocked me by being home as he was supposed to be out, lol. That was an odd night with the lesbians at the pub telling us we should be together and we make a beautiful couple to my son giving me the 'green light' to sleep with him.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Next time make sure it's a guerrilla suit :-) :-) xxQ

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Or it gets the hose again.......

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Obi1Kenietzsche' Dear Ms "Qarple, so glad to have you on the case! It was a split level house in Tarragindi and the master bedroom was on the second floor at the rear. The stairs were normal carpeted stairs going up one level. The drain pipe I climbed/slid down was 100mm PVC I think and ended in a bush. I know it was a dead-lock because I know what they look like and I couldn't get the door open no matter how hard I tried. I have not re-contacted the lady concerned as yet. I am not really sure what to say (perhaps: "jeez THAT was fun..eh?"). Was it just a somewhat bizarre attempt at a threesome? Should I contact her(them) again at all? What if she was just a lure to get me there so her boyfriend could have a go? Help me Ms Qarpel!! Nice to see the brazilian is on the way out

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    swinging from the yardarms Obi has at least kept you fit:-) :-) xxQ