M56
A very good friend of mine, is in two minds about....
September 18 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
To tell his partner that once a year is not going to cut it.. Is the risk at work possibly too close to home? Is the possible loss of relationship going to be worth the risk?... Only he can know what he is willing to risk.I can't say.... from where I sit very comfortably... Hugs... Mrs P
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RHP User
15 years ago
for me ... i do the ... dont play where i work thing ... cos well ... it could just end messy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Once a year? The dude has a flatmate, not a lover. He's gunna pork teh 25 year old and is just looking to be sanctififed. The issue here is not whether he will cheat on his frigid wife, but whether he should ruin his future work environment. Let's face it, if you fuck someone at the office... there is ALWAYS trouble. Eventually, one or other of you will have to leave the job. Now, back to the frigid missus.... 7 years... these are called itchy years.... the seven year itch.... my wife and I have survived three itchy years... put it this way... he needs to get back on that horse. I heard someone sing love is stronger than pride... well.. he needs to grovel at her feet.. and put it uot there that this once a year situation is just not going to work forever. The 7 year itch works both ways... so he also ought to be prepared to cop it back. YOu know.. the old "if you have a blister lance it". Old wife's tales... they didnt get old without learning some shit. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Once a year? The dude has a flatmate, not a lover. He's gunna pork teh 25 year old and is just looking to be sanctififed. The issue here is not whether he will cheat on his frigid wife, but whether he should ruin his future work environment. Let's face it, if you fuck someone at the office... there is ALWAYS trouble. Eventually, one or other of you will have to leave the job. Now, back to the frigid missus.... 7 years... these are called itchy years.... the seven year itch.... my wife and I have survived three itchy years... put it this way... he needs to get back on that horse. I heard someone sing love is stronger than pride... well.. he needs to grovel at her feet.. and put it uot there that this once a year situation is just not going to work forever. The 7 year itch works both ways... so he also ought to be prepared to cop it back. YOu know.. the old "if you have a blister lance it". Old wife's tales... they didnt get old without learning some shit. Hugs Stalky Have you not heard that there is no such thing as a frigid woman Stalky? Only a poor lover. No critism meant of your friend's technique at all embodi. But just maybe he is not all that good in the sack. Also there are times when us women just go completely off sex. This is mainly due to hormone fluctuations, menopause, after giving birth etc. Depression can also have an effect on the libido. No I do agree that once a year is never enough and he needs to have this conversation with his girl. She may be open to him having an affair in preference to the realtionship breakdown. I do feel that some medical intervention is probably necessary for the woman but this also needs to be done very tactfully. Work collegues are not very often a good idea as when it is over, you still have to work together and how it ended can have a lasting effect on the workplace atmosphere. Now I dont want all the 25 and younger brigade to jump up and down here BUT the majority (*NOTE* not all) do have a problem with getting too attached and wanting more from the casual relationship. Especially if it is ongoing. I would suggest he try an older age bracket for his first affair. Cheers Fionabee
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RHP User
15 years ago
with Stalky...he needs to talk to his wife...he married her, he should be faithful and honest with her if he cant do that then he needs to leave her he cant cheat on her....its wrong roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Your mate is some kinda saint! How could he possibly have managed to keep it together for sooooooo long. and what Stalky said she is a flatmate not a lover!I reckon go the 25 yo , but then we don't know the people involved do we.Cheers Nev.........man can not survive on bread alone!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Better to leave his wife first, then start a new relationship, preferably away from work Should never confuse swinging with cheating
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RHP User
15 years ago
It's a pity your friend stayed silent about his needs with his wife for so long - in many ways his actions (or in-action) have condoned the once-a year sex. He probably hasn't got the guts now (with all due respect) to confront her on this...much easier to have an affair and cheat on her and then say "yeah I fucked up but thats because you don't have sex with me". It's tricky and complex - it doesn't need an office affair to add to it, especially with a 25 yo who may expect a relationship to blossom.... Just my thoughts Jx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Embodi, of course you mate should go for it, he has nothing to lose, well except ... * His wife who he loves. There is no mention of children, but hell that is inconsequential when it concerns matters of the dick! His wife will find out, and he will lose, not only the love of his life, but probably his home, half his super, his friends, the list goes on. * His job, not all employers tolerate inter-office relationships. Stalky is right, I have seen so many careers ruined simply because someone could not keep their hands off of another. Add to the fact the current sex discrimination laws, if this new budding romance doesn't work out, all the young lady has to say is this OLDER MARRIED MAN initiated all of it and he is not only out of a job, but has a very big black mark against his name in regard to future employment prospects. Serious now, we don't know the full story and we don't know if Emodi's mate is telling fibs just to justify is planned dailiance outside of his marriage. If this idiot really does love his wife, it is up to him to do something about saving his marriage. If the wife's excuse is they are both too busy with work, is he doing enough around the house to give his wife a break. Hell, he could hire a housecleaner to come in once a week so the wife does have some spare time, he could organise a weekend away. It seems to me he is trying to appropriate the blame for his upcoming infedility back on his wife. Anyway, my rant is over, but this being RHP, of course the popular opinion is that he should fuck the young lady, hell sex is sex right. Love, committment, trust is a thing of the past, a man must get his dick wet, a woman is free to sleep with whomever she wants right, the consequence of their actions can always be blamed on someone else. Mooka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Wise men you are.From what read, this man is looking for someone to validate his choice to cheat. Embodi, it seems to me he wants your approval to make it ok. As his friend you can really only tell him to think long and hard about what it is he wants and that you will be his friend wherever that leads him, ofcourse you might need to find a manlier way of saying it :P I dare say he will do what ever he is going to do regardless of your opinion so all you can do is a be a mate....xx Salina
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RHP User
15 years ago
My thoughts are. Maybe they have small chidren, may be the wife is running around all day long after the kids. we simply dont know it all. Maybe he exagerates at once a year to make it sound better that this girl wants him, makes him feel good and then exagerated to you Andy about how often he gets sex from his wife in order to justify his feelings for someone else. After all no one really knows what goes on inside someones bedroom unless they are there each night. We can only listen to what we are told. I have a saying that i stick by and it is believe half of what you see and none of what you hear. I think he should concentrate on his marriage, talk to his wife tell her it is not working for them and try listen to eachother. If all else fails , leave her and then do what he wants with others... Just my thoughts Leesa
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RHP User
15 years ago
I said Andy and i should have said embodi...sorry andy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Recently' a lifelong friend of mine wanted to join me on a holiday to Phuket. It was to be a motorbiking holiday travelling and stopping and staying where ever we ended up.. He talks to his wife and she tells him if he goes she would not be here when he came back. Selfish bitch I hear you say .. yes I agree.. So what should he do' stay home and pass up a opportunity of a lifetime just because it pleases her' a woman who has shown no sexual interest in him for over the past 5 years or so'... or look forward to going away.. He said he felt trapped... He had to make a decision and decided to bite the bullet and go ahead and book his holiday and face the consequences when he got back home.. We had our trip' it was fantastic' plenty of adventure' plenty of relaxation and when he came back home all was OK and they are still together' just as we thought it would be.. so she really didnt need to be such a spoilsport in the first place... However' he did find some sexual release with a wonderfull lady while he was away... It was casual' consentual and a release after 5 years of abstinence. No harm...no commitment... just release... The point Im trying to make here is' because you are married it should not mean its the end of having or finding some excitement in your life.. and Im not talking strickly sex here.. If you want or need to do something that makes you happy that your partner does not want to do and vice versa' it is totally unfair and selfish to want to spoil it for them. Give and take as we say.. Get this right and a happy marriage is sure to follow... " Embodie" as a business owner of many years' I always had one golden rule "dont fuck the staff" its just too full of protential disarsters.. let alone the harm it can do to a business... If your friends wife is anything like my friends wife' a mountain of talk will mean nothing.. He will still have the same problem.. Better to find the local ladies of the night' he can get his rocks off' and it wont cost him anywhere near as much as the girlfriend in the office... or his marriage.. Just my opinion..... Mr JJ
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RHP User
15 years ago
There's obviously a big problem here, this couple needs professional help. Maybe there's something deeper to her abstinence. I'd be trying to help her and help your relationship. Get to the bottom of it then make an informed decision on whether the relationship is worth saving. Now sexy colleagues are dangerous and someone will always get burned.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Don't dip the pen in the company ink? Look, it is great for anyone...single or attached to have someone hot flirt with them... It's all new and exciting and such a turn on... But, if he goes there, I agree with everyone else... He has a great job that he would lose... This girl is probably only interested in what she can't get..(yep, a few girls are like that out there).. Best advice is for him to go to a brothel, pay up, get his end wet (well kinda wet as he would have a condom on), shower and leave...no emotions, no strings...no job to lose and noone to tell his wife!! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
To clarify a couple of points... * there are no children. * both male & female work full time and attend Uni. * Male will be leaving the employment in 4 months to comence new employment (hence Uni degree) * Male has tried to talk about the problem including possibly attending counselling, female says nothing. * Female has recently told Male that she wants to shower alone. * Both, rarely kiss anymore. My friend, does a hell of a lot around the house, as his wife does not like cooking or cleaning, in between studying and working, she likes to go shopping and watch tv. I have known them for 6 years or so, and she is a hot little blonde, and whilst my friend and I are sure that she is not getting it anywhere else, how would we really know, women are so much better at hiding things.... E
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sounds like its over to me. wanting to shower alone? Either shes getting it else where or she thinks he is. Her not wanting to get help sounds like the end is near. John
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sounds like she needs a clip across the back of the head! No cooking or cleaning? Marriage is a partnership.. to share n cherish. She either cheating or just plain spoilt? I feel sorry for the guy! hugs sweetpetite41xxxxxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
i would never condone cheating but i do agree with sweetpetite "she needs a slap across the back of the head" he needs to end his marriage first.... if he doesnt he will always be seen as the cheater...she will always be seen as the poor woman that was cheated on...he will lose everything and she will gain it all talk him out of doing it...it isnt worth his trouble but i do believe he needs to leave his wife...there is nothing there roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
See.. the problem here is too much work and study... how are they supposed to enjoy each other's company when they're up to their wastes in all that crap. My advise is take 4 weeks off and spend Christmas in the Maldives in on eof those hilltop cottages with its own pool and an understanding bisexual masseuse to sooth all those troubles away while the couple exorcise their worries upon him, as an independant third party pair of ears, and testicles. :p Hmmm... Take one with you! I'll just grab my towel. :p Hugs Stalky Quoting 'embodi' To clarify a couple of points... * there are no children. * both male & female work full time and attend Uni. * Male will be leaving the employment in 4 months to comence new employment (hence Uni degree) * Male has tried to talk about the problem including possibly attending counselling, female says nothing. * Female has recently told Male that she wants to shower alone. * Both, rarely kiss anymore. My friend, does a hell of a lot around the house, as his wife does not like cooking or cleaning, in between studying and working, she likes to go shopping and watch tv. I have known them for 6 years or so, and she is a hot little blonde, and whilst my friend and I are sure that she is not getting it anywhere else, how would we really know, women are so much better at hiding things.... E
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