M52
A kid's spirit
April 17 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
......You do not have to deal with the kids that society and thier own parents have shit on and neglected and thrown back. I have known two year olds that have lost that sponteneity. The light does not shine in thier eyes. They dont trust, they have preconcieved ideas and hurts that will never heal, and trust me, the way they play is not very nice at all....IF they play. . The biggest thing that has shaped my life has been becoming a parent and raising kids...mine and those that others gave birth to. Nothing like knowing damn well that it is you and only you responsible for putting the food on the table, the roof over thier head to knock the edges off. I can not live "in the now" as I have others who depend on me for thier very existance. I am responsible for them being here...they come first, they have to. Childlike trust and innocence went out the door the day I found my best friend in bed with the father of my kids but I do not believe that anything holds me back at all. I do not believe that doing exactly what I want and when I want with no thought to the consequences is a good thing at all. It is a selfish thing and what a sad, sad world this would be indeed if all we thought of was our own pleasure.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I don't think coodie that I have ever lost touch with my childlike delight in life and the world .However it wasn't until I experienced two annis horribilis as Lizzie once said, that I fully realized what is important to me. Of course the love of my family and friends comes a big first but appreciating the small things which are really the big things. My garden and the creatures and plants I share it with,the crows ,the parrots,the family of galahs in my ghost gum,my chickens,my dogs,the frogs in my pond,the ants,that take shelter inside when it rains,the possums who think my roof is their personal playpen,the butterflies that dance on sunny days,the scent of potosporum ,gardenias and my lovely palms. The fact that when I walk out my door no matter which way I turn I head to the sea,with either views of the Glass House Mountains or Moreton Island.I love the sea in all it's moods and relish the sand between my toes. I have surrounded myself with a few precious things bought on my travels, and sometimes from junk shops,and because perhaps I have lived in a village where the people had almost nothing but each other and their Hindu faith and culture,I am so grateful for my life which is so rich with people,time ,choices and freedoms that most people in this world cant even imagine let alone dream of......great topic coodie,x Hugs H.
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RHP User
14 years ago
do the circumstances that have shaped your life hold you back in your own experience of life? Coodi I love where your heart is on your op, however not all of us have experienced this idyllic childhood that you describe. No I didnt have a sad tragic childhood, I grew up in a loving family althoughly oddly enough my parents divorced when I was 10 but remarried again when I was 18...it was the only real glitch in my childhood..I think I was blessed to see my parents realise that they had made a mistake, couldnt live without each other and recommit to each other..it was lovely to see them marry again..however I grew up in a funeral home, where death was at our dinner table each nite...Death is a business and death and its implications were discussed around out dinner table each nite...all very normal talk for us, but as I grew older and worked in family business (I started when I was about 15 and needed pocket money) I realised a frigthening and scarey thing..that it wasnt only old people that died...young peoople died and kids my own age died..and kids my own age lost their parents/siblings etc I saw these families come thru our funeral homes, grief stricked, shocked, bewildered.. ...a child dying in a car accident..a 15 year boy whose dad passed in a house fire..it was all normal for me (and my siblings) to see all of this but at the same time surreal...I realised then that not everyone had a happy childhood like I did because they had lost someone dear.....it was sobering to grow up with...and from my perspective, although I am not scared of death/dying now ...and I know that it is all fated, I dont tempt it either... (eg take drugs for instance) ..Ive seen so many stupid preventable deaths..and the untold grief that it has caused the loved ones family...people can be so careless and reckless with their lives. When I was 19, I suffered a serious illness (and recovered) and very grateful for that. At 23 as I was Jewish and at that time living in Israel (as a joint Israeli/American citizen) I served in the Israeli Army and spent one year of my compulsory two years at war as a trainee medic.....Im sure I speak on behalf of any returned service person, irrespective of which country you serve or for what "reasons" you fight.....War changes your outlook on EVERYTHING..and you never ever forget what you witnessed. Your post is interesting but trust me in the Middle East , I saw (and still see today) kids as young as 7 toting guns, not making mud pies....and as we were constantly reminded..a 7 year old can pull the trigger of a AK47 just as easy as adult can in order to survive..Sadly this kind of incidences occurs in more places (Africa) than we realise...how lucky are we to live in the "Free world" ? So in answer to your question... Do the circumstances that have shaped your life hold you back in your own experience of life?. Yes, to be honest they do, but Im pretty ok with what I have already experienced in life and what Im continuing to experience..all I know is that Im just glad to be alive and living each day, every day..and as Hesione said, surrounded by those that I love and the things that I love,... trust me, for me..thats enough
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Handmaiden' ......You do not have to deal with the kids that society and thier own parents have shit on and neglected and thrown back. I have known two year olds that have lost that sponteneity. The light does not shine in thier eyes. They dont trust, they have preconcieved ideas and hurts that will never heal, and trust me, the way they play is not very nice at all....IF they play. . The biggest thing that has shaped my life has been becoming a parent and raising kids...mine and those that others gave birth to. Nothing like knowing damn well that it is you and only you responsible for putting the food on the table, the roof over thier head to knock the edges off. I can not live "in the now" as I have others who depend on me for thier very existance. I am responsible for them being here...they come first, they have to. Childlike trust and innocence went out the door the day I found my best friend in bed with the father of my kids but I do not believe that anything holds me back at all. I do not believe that doing exactly what I want and when I want with no thought to the consequences is a good thing at all. It is a selfish thing and what a sad, sad world this would be indeed if all we thought of was our own pleasure. expressing one's self without the fear of consequence or judgement of others, and in fact judgement of yourself is far from selfish as you suggest... actually quite the opposite kids do this on a daily basis without any thought... it's their honesty and innocence we love! 'a kid's spirit' i'm talking about being true to yourself..... nothing to do with pleasure seeking! hugs coodi'Hesione'... i lovely picture you portray of your life and your attitude towards it.... love to come and hang out in your garden some time!
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RHP User
14 years ago
there was no innocence in my home when i was young did it shape me to be the person i am now?? hell yeah it did!!!! but im me....i choose to be this way and most of the time im happy the way i am Hugs
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RHP User
14 years ago
always have......... learnt that from my 'foster' siblings..... learnt many things to be honest.....like forgiveness, and tolerance and the value of character and principle....... i grew up in an open household, and saw many many things others will never even glimpse..... my mother would bring 'siamesed' twin girls home to visit....and they were captivating in their delight at just being alive......and polio struck children who could barely walk, and blind boys and girls, who never knew that they were different... i did some of my growing up in South East Asia, and my mother was heavily involved in the welfare of the children in a couple of orphanages....these places were non funded, and staffed by volunteers......but the kids........were the happiest children you'd ever encounter, even those who had been rescued from child slavery and child prostitution......my 'foster brother' Teng, came from one such place......and hes now a methodist minister....a wonderful man....... when we came back to Aus, we became involved with indigenous orphans through knowing Fred Hollows Nurse....Hazel....she was an 'indigenous' nursewho managed to reach "Matron" , quite an accomplishment indeed.......and through knowing "Kath Walker" or "Oodgeroo Nooncuccal" the Poetess and Author who came from Stradbroke Island.......these kids who touched our lives, did so in the most wonderful and joyful way.....i have 2 indigenous foster brothers, who we all love dearly......my mother also taught migrant English, so our home was always busy....strange accents coming and going....gifts of foods left in appreciation...... we loved it....... we 'played' as kids....we played as a family, and loved laughter and joy, and fun....... screams of laughter was what our neigbours heards..... cries of sheer delight and joy..... and we were busy..... i played every sport that i could......with my brothers....league, soccer, rugby, rules, baseball, basketball, cricket and tennis......and we swam, and ran and rode and skateboarded, for miles every weekend..........we rode pushies from oxley to coolangatta one weekend.....just to see an Aunty...lol... ours is an open house....how could it not be? its how we live our lives...with open doors and open hearts.....we have 3 special needs children between us, and their unique needs dictate that we be open and understanding not just to them, but to their friends as well....like attracts like sometimes it seems.....I have time for everybody....apparrently.... but thats just me.... Its what we were taught as kids.....but what we were taught, was tempered by the cruelties of life..... kids whose parents had died, kids who had been sold to prostitution, to child slavery, kids with disease ravaged bodies, kids who'd been beaten near to death, and crippled as a result....even one young boy...whose face his own father had poured boiling fat onto......these taught us other sadder things.......... live for 'now'.......absolutely.....because 'now' is lost oh so quickly...... and becomes just a memory....a mightve been even..... but temper 'now' with thoughts of the others....and how sad their 'now' might be.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
I just grew old.
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RHP User
14 years ago
of course circumstances shape people's lives... everyone single one of us,, including myself.and yes, situations prevail too, as you say some people in this world don't have a CHOICE. I'm curious about the people that do have a choice... This is the angle i'm coming from!Some adults limit themselves,, or HOLD BACK as i suggested.... kids don't give a shit.. right!Now... our thoughts have power,, so what is it we tell ourselves, what's our 'self talk', what's our false beliefs about ourselves that keeps us living in the past and not experiencing life as a kid would.... i could name a million, but i'm not going too. i want to hear them from you guys.I just think some are so critical and judgmental about ourselves and this holds them back. over to you guys....
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RHP User
14 years ago
I so agree. I think it would be fair to say that I'm one of those people that are very critical and judgemental of themselves...our mutual friends would attest to that (but im not of others...live and let live I say) But my question to you would be ? Holding me (for instance) back from what exactly ? We all have a difference of opinion on what living life is ? A life well lived is defined by what ?? I guess what I'm trying to say is just because I chose to say not go skydiving ( I dont get that whole adrenalin rush stuff) does that mean I'm not child like ? Open to my inner child ? As you know I live in a place where dolphins often visit. I get the biggest thrill when sitting on the Mandurah foreshore and I spot them. A real kid. A real tourist. I get my phone out and take photos and babble to the person with me about them .....no dolphins where I come from. This is a simple pleasure for me but also exciting. No one can say what is the rite choice for another. Some people may HOLD back as you say but the only person that can say that is the person in question. Who are we to judge another ?. People hold back for many reasons: they wish to conform to society norms, they can't afford to do things, they are scared, etc or they simply aren't interested in reconnecting with their inner child. Been there, done that . I'm with mikeandshel. Live in the now. It is all that matters and do what you believe is rite for you in all things and try as hard as possible not to hurt those who love you on YOUR journey Xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hey coodie ,you can come play with me and my friends in our garden any day x Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
yeah... i loved mikeandsel post too. If you look at my original post i mentioned 'to live in the now without fear of consequence or judgement'..... like kids do. HOLD BACK on expressing one's self is my answer to your question... let your guard down, open up, not give a shit about the outcome, speak freely and all that stuff..... you know, like kids do!i know this can be awkward for most and i realize people aren't like me, i'd like to change the world though. hahamy post was inspired by 'hesione's' earlier one on 'your offline persona'... it was such a positive post, people spoke honestly with lots of EXPRESSION, even though it was from behind a computer screen.my second question 'why do you choose to live in this vein'.... i wasn't expecting any answers for that one.... looking at it now, i guess i wanted people to ask this question to themselves... and answer it in their own head. a self evaluation maybe...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Coodie Yowie...I have absolutely no problems expressing myself at all. In fact, I can be extremely expressive...especially when pushed and I do not even consider if others judge me or not...they simply are not that important. . Kids dont give a shit? Wrong......SOME kids dont give a shit and they are the priveldged few, the ones that have been untouched by tragedy. Many others do. I hear many kids comment on social aspects of life that we never did as children. I see some that are so parentalised that they can not do anything for themselves, they are too busy worrying about younger siblings. Some as young as six or seven feeding the babies and cleaning up after them...or trying to. Actions do have consequences and this is a lesson we, as parents are always trying to get across to our children.... "think about it first" "think before you act" "what do you think would happen if..." "what were you thinking?" How can we raise socially conscious young adults, prepared to handle all the nastiness in the world if they are not taught to think before they act? Live in the here and the now? Yep, throw away, instant society. Tomorrow just does not count.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Handmaiden' Coodie Yowie...I have absolutely no problems expressing myself at all. In fact, I can be extremely expressive...especially when pushed ................................................................................................................................ errrr... righto.. not sure why we are going down this path, plus i don't do angry very well.i'm outta here....... you win
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RHP User
14 years ago
An extremely important part of a child's development is play .It is as important as any other form of learning. Children learn to socialise,negotiate,express themselves ,create,through play.....to remember the feelings we had as children ,the sense of adventure and wonder, enables us as adults to see the world a little differently....yes the world is full of pain and suffering but it is also full of wonder and beauty if you are prepared to see and experience it you canx Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
dont think things through..... nor do they consider 'consequence', and well they shouldnt either..... thats our job. children should be care free, responsibility free, blame free, because we should be standing there with them, making the judgements, ensuring they are safe............ by the time a child becomes a 'youth' tho..... this should be changing. children should be innocents........ but adults make them otherwise............ children should be guilt free..........but adults make them otherwise............. and children should be responsibility free.......but adults make them otherwise........... we were...we grew up as innocents.....but we had loving and supportive parents..... who cared for and about us...thats the child thay coodi-yowie is describing.....the child who is the majority of our children.....for whom 'play' is the only thing.....fun the only reward....... there was no comment, no judgement on what children might or might not be, or have.... the idea was about the carefree fun of childhood.....is it still a driving force? does it still define us? yes yes yes............it does.... fun with no care, no responsibility and no guilt, is certainly why we are here...........to satisfy that part of us that still seeks to 'play'............only its adult 'play'.......
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am not going to lay bare the circumstances that have brought me thus far.The biggest part of healing and making myself whole was accepting the many parts of myself.I accept the times when i did well and the times when i didn't do so well,the times when i was terrified,and the times i was loving,the times when i was very foolish and silly, and the times i was very bright and clever,the times when i had egg on my face and the times that i was a winner.You see i realised that most of my problems came from rejecting parts of myself,and by not totally loving myself totally and unconditionally.I don't have to prove to anyone or anything who I am.I don't yearn to be someone else.There is no struggle to be betterEach" Experience" is a stepping stone in life including any so called mistakesI love myself for all my mistakes and missteps,they have been very valuable to me,they have taught me many things.I don't look back on my life with shame.I look at the past as part of the richness and fullness that is MY life.do the circumstances that have shaped your life hold you back in your own experience of life?No they Add to the richness....
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RHP User
14 years ago
My Life has had it share or turmoil and upsets / And these reason alone I choose to make light of any situation as Life is busy enough these days to pass up on a little fun
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'wowwow11'My Life has had it share or turmoil and upsets / And these reason alone I choose to make light of any situation as Life is busy enough these days to pass up on a little fun if yr a 'pirate'..........show us your parrot!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Nudierudie2'I am not going to lay bare the circumstances that have brought me thus far.The biggest part of healing and making myself whole was accepting the many parts of myself.I accept the times when i did well and the times when i didn't do so well,the times when i was terrified,and the times i was loving,the times when i was very foolish and silly, and the times i was very bright and clever,the times when i had egg on my face and the times that i was a winner.You see i realised that most of my problems came from rejecting parts of myself,and by not totally loving myself totally and unconditionally.I don't have to prove to anyone or anything who I am.I don't yearn to be someone else.There is no struggle to be betterEach" Experience" is a stepping stone in life including any so called mistakesI love myself for all my mistakes and missteps,they have been very valuable to me,they have taught me many things.I don't look back on my life with shame.I look at the past as part of the richness and fullness that is MY life.do the circumstances that have shaped your life hold you back in your own experience of life?No they Add to the richness....what we go thru as kids.... or as teenagers in my case.....certainly does add to the 'adult' experience..... we had a wonderful childhood, but that changed, when our father changed...... he became increasingly angry and violent as time progressed....and his alcohol consumption increased..... shame childhood ended the way it did.... we had our shate of drama and heartache.... some of it more, and worse than anyone should be exposed to, but thats life, and you suck it up and move on.......... or not.
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RHP User
14 years ago
'Do the circumstances that have shaped your life hold you back in your own experience of life?' Find me someone who has had their heart broken who isnt a little bit cautious after! Someone who has been sexually assulted out one night, I bet now they are a little more cautious of people and situations. A mother loosing sight of her kid in the shopping centre for 5 mins ... She's gonna handcuff that kid to her next time. For me... Im a single mum.. and not by choice! (I dont know anyone who is by choice, that is of sound mind! lol) Does that make me a little bitter? Hell yes! But I wouldnt change it. Do use my son as an excuse to not go out and meet someone for fear of getting hurt again? Yes! But that is on me. I will learn, and grow and heal in my own time. Thats what being an adult is all about. You learn, you feel and you accept. If you dont... you end up being a 45 yrs old with the mentality of a 13 yr old who is trying to hold onto his 'kid spirit'! Ive had my heart broken, Ive had people do me wrong, I have bad memories from my childhood. We all experiance this at some point in our lives.... at which point our 'kid Spirit' is gone... and forever lost. There is a reason our childhood only last a second compared to adulthood. All good things must come to an end. When you think about it.... the only thing that changes from Childhood to adulthood is responsibility. Adults arent spose to have a 'kids spirit'. Thats what our kids are for. Our parents did it for us... Now its their turn. And once its bed time... then we can have our fun. lol Adult fun! Which, ive always thought, is soooo much better than kids fun lol!! Each to their own... Most people dont have a choice as to what affects them and changes them in some way. We all have to grow up at some point. If you are able to live your life carefree, no responibilities, no judgements, no fear, no consequences... More power to ya. But good luck trying to find someone who can relate to that way of life! xxxxxxxx -=Boo=-
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think I love you mike and shel
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Hesione'I think I love you mike and shel aww...... shucks.....lol....mwah!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Bit short on a subject that means so much to me. I am here to live the ride, not survive it any one can do that - call it selfish, pigheaded, call it mean what ever (your you, I’m me)I know that everyone that has ever known me would be happy for the way I try to live it and the person I have become from doing so. I have lost family, friend’s seen enough death and sorrow for any man or woman, also had enough bad experiences, but hey, I have had some pretty awesome ones too and learned from them all and come out a better person for it. The only thing that is going to stop me from living this life is the beat of my heart. I hope my kids learn from me and live this life as much to its fullest as I try and have tried to but so much more.(In a way that causes no harm to any one nor sorrow or grief)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Coodi Yes for sure they hold me back at times. Not that I would say that it is always conscious choice however. I have to admit my traumatic experiences can evoke a lot of fear and can make a good attempt to dictate my responses to certain situations. But I often take these moments as a perfect opportunity not to hold back and to rid any limiting and negative responses that could prevent me from experiencing life fully. Sure being judged is certainly confronting, but if I'm genuine enough to be exactly how I am in any moment, a good or bad judgement can only be something damaging or liberating to my ego, and my kid spirit does not care much for the ego, only desiring the fullness of a new experience. It is these moments where all thoughts of judgements and consequences fall away I love experiencing. I love laughing at life! Though in some situations I'm glad I am cautious and forward thinking of consequences due to my past experiences since I can be so damn care free I could get myself in some messy situations/relationships Haha it's such a fine line -between pleasure and pain. Sometimes balance can only be learnt by going to extremes. I may master it one day lol I have never lost my kid spirit, I know exactly where she is. The people I love and trust in my life bring her out daily. So I guess you could say it boils down to trust for me The more I trust that I am and everything is ok after all the experiences of my past,( if not im stronger and more open,) the closer I am in returning to my kid spirit - laughing at life so much more. It's so important not to let pain and fear hold you back from the beautiful experiences life offers. But it is also good to remember when you put your hand on the hot plate you burnt your hand
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RHP User
14 years ago
So this is an answer to few of you that feel pain within, don’t like to trust or open again due to pain you will receive should it go pear shaped. It is all based on your emotions, is how you feel, trust, hate, love, and every thing else but so you can experience all these to the end, you need to really get in touch with your inner emotions, find them and release them but control them. There are a few on here that have worded some awful experiences in life but yet one; she welcomes the world with open arms. This person in touch with her inner emotions. Life is meant to be happy and to be lived, bad experiences can change that and turn you into some one else but you was the person before that experience and if you look back was you happier then or now. If happier before and you felt free then go back to before, yes you have memories but think if your experience was so bad can some thing worse happen. Or if the same again well you have experienced it once so iron site it you should take it on more easily than before. I hope some things never happen again but I am ready if they do, this is what I am trying to say. If your happy how you are now that is fine but please really look deep inside and see are you truly happy or you’re just trying to brain wash your self. Get hold of those emotions and control them, pull them back into line here and there if running away but let them flutter around when in joy and real them back in afterwards. There are bad people in this world of all kinds but I feel there are more good than bad so I can not and will not tarnish every one with the same brush. I also see that life is not long enough to take things slow (I don’t mean jump in bed with some one) I don’t have a great deal of time left so slowly be accustomed to new things so I jump in, as long as those around me are safe and the people that jump in with my are ok and no repercussions then I am happy tooNo offence to any one is sort here just a direction to look at things
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'coodi_yowie' Quoting 'Handmaiden' Coodie Yowie...I have absolutely no problems expressing myself at all. In fact, I can be extremely expressive...especially when pushed ................................................................................................................................ errrr... righto.. not sure why we are going down this path, plus i don't do angry very well. i'm outta here....... you win did you just take your bat and ball and go home?? tooo funny Hugs
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'WantedBabyDaddy' Quoting 'coodi_yowie' Quoting 'Handmaiden' Coodie Yowie...I have absolutely no problems expressing myself at all. In fact, I can be extremely expressive...especially when pushed ................................................................................................................................ errrr... righto.. not sure why we are going down this path, plus i don't do angry very well. i'm outta here....... you win did you just take your bat and ball and go home?? tooo funny Hugs way too many bouncers for my liking.....
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