M41
A few laughs...
May 17 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Had no idea when I bagged this joke that it would make a starring role in your first thread!!! PMSL. Best just assume I laughed the first time I heard it! Hehe ;-) ... Never had sex in a caravan.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I've met a few 'jokes of the day' oh no that's not what you meant was it......oops
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RHP User
15 years ago
Honest, I like blondes but the jokes are funny... | First question one asks in the morning? - Are all you guys on the same team? | Why to they always flunk the driver's test? - First time they have ever seen the front seat of a car. | What is the difference between a red head with PMS and a terrorist? - You can negotiate with the terrorist. | ....opps sorry I slipped. | | Besides...there are no more real blondes left in the world.
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RHP User
15 years ago
See, the reason that joke got a starring role, was BECAUSE you bagged it out! I had to try and let the joke redeem itself somewhere...fb just wasn't enough! DGT - I ALMOST thank fuck that you've never met me. I would hate to see my name be added to that list! CM - #2 was fucking hilarious! And here is a couple more for you...Why don't blondes use vibrators?- They chip their teethA blonde walks into a chemist and asks for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist explains to the woman that they don't sell it. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this chemist on a regular basis for years and would like some more. "Do you have the container it came in?" asks the pharmacist. "Yes," said the blonde and she hands it to him. He looks at it and says, "this is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant." Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container... "To apply, push up bottom."
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RHP User
15 years ago
I like rectum deoderant LOL
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RHP User
15 years ago
I like rectum deodorant too . A wife stands in front of her hubby in a pair of crotchless undies waving her pussy in his face, and says seductively..."You want some of this Big boy?" Hubby: "fuck NO !!! look what it's done to your undies woman" it's my favourite
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RHP User
15 years ago
CM - You had better believe #3 - thats no joke Mister... . Q. How do you get a redhead to argue with you? A. Say something. . Q. How do you get a redheads mood to change? A. Wait 10 seconds . I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my Mother.The assitant was putting the finishing touches on my bouquet orderA young man burst through the doorHe breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses"I'm sorry," the assitant said"This man just ordered our last bunch"The desperate customer turned to me and begged"May I please have those roses?""What happened?" I asked"Did you forget your wedding anniversary?""It's even worse than that," he confided"My wife's a redhead and I broke her hard drive!".She Can't Sign On To RHP . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect."To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What takes up 18 parking spaces?9 Women drivers.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Wife : "Honey, I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear!"Husband: "kitchen, living room, dining room, patio..."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bob forgot his wedding anniversary, and his wife was pissed.She told him "Tomorrow morning, there had better be a gift in the driveway that goes from 0-200 in 6 seconds...OR ELSE!"Next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke...up, she looked out the window and there was a box in the middle of the driveway.She opened it and found brand new bathroom scales.Bob has been missing since Friday...--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Little boy kills a butterfly, so his Dad says "Right, no butter for 2 weeks!!" Boy then kills a honeybee, so his Dad says "Right, no honey for 3 weeks!" Little boys Mum then accidentally stands on a cockroach. Boy turns to dad and says "Are you going to tell her or should I?!"-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A wife asks her husband; "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"He replied, "They had eggs..."------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------And one of my all time favs.......I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really sexy Thai bird.I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection. Please don't get an erection."But she did...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Met my mates new blonde girlfriend last night. I asked her how it was going and she said 'he's a wonderful bloke but he has terrible dandruff'.'You ought to give him head and shoulders' I told her.'How do you give shoulders?' was her reply.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I HATE that I laughed myself silly at every one of those jokes! After being woken by caravan comedy this morning, I'd honestly thought I may never laugh again! *eyeroll*
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RHP User
15 years ago
A blonde was driving to the airport to pick her boyfriend up when sdhe noticed a big overhead sign saying "airport left". She turned around and went home.****************************************************************************************************The same blonde missed the number 44 bus so she caught the number 22 bus twice.
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RHP User
15 years ago
There are no blonde jokes - they are all true stories!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Luce & Steve hit it off, so she invites him back to her place. In her bedroom Steve notices hundreds of toy animals scattered throughout the room. Giant toys sitting on top of the wardrobe. Slightly smaller ones on the window sill. Many tiny toy animals lined on the bottom shelf of her bookcase.After they had sex, Steve turned to her and said, "So babe ... how was I?""Well," Luce said, "you can take anything from the bottom shelf."------------------Ben comes home from a work trip to find his housemate and close friend James, being very cosy with Ben's younger sister, Jen, who has been living with the boys while she goes to uni. Ben is suss when James and Jen seem to be very cosy, and asks his mate if he has been messing with his little sis, to which James says "no way! I have no idea what you are talking about!"About a week later, James can't find the TV remote, and realises its been missing since Ben went back to work. He sends him a sms saying "I can't find the TV remote...where is it?"Ben texts back "no way! I have no idea what you are talking about!"James texts back to Ben "I'm not saying you 'did' take the remote, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take the remote. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here."Seconds later, James received a text back from Ben which reads:"Mate, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jen, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jen. But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the remote by now."--------------------
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RHP User
15 years ago
Very *pmsl* funny
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RHP User
15 years ago
I guess you could take that a couple of ways, huh? But dang, they do make it too easy sometimes... | Quoting 'MistressT'There are no blonde jokes - they are all true stories!! | So then you are confessing that smart blondes and aliens really do have a lot in common? People talk abou them but, really...no one has ever seen one? | Sometimes truth is funnier than fiction...and this is a secret so, shhhhh don't tell? It seems that DGT, the prolific princess of porno posts...actually writes "TGIF" inside all of her shoes. True confession...she said that stands for Toes Go In First. | Now what is a worry is that she writes the same thing on the inside of the cups of every bra that she owns...yep, "TGIF" just as a reminder. Now I know what you are thinking, but it's actually just a reminder that....These Go In Front. | ...so maybe brunettes have blonde moments too. | | I told you that stuff on the internet was going to get you in trouble.
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RHP User
15 years ago
You want me to tell people about things that can't be helped sometimes ? . Now you know that I don't have any blonde hair, they are pigmentally challenged hairs and they suddenly disappear every 6 weeks guess mine better be called grey moments
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WidowMale
15 years ago
The vagina is the best rehabilitation centre in the world. Even the biggest, hardest and most violent pricks come out all softened, humbled and reduced in size!!!! 88A man with no arms entered a masturbation contest.......... The poor guy didn't come anywhere.....It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married couples is doggie. The husband sits up and begs, the wife rolls over and plays dead!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
You can call it anything you like... | Quoting 'dontgothere' Guess mine better be called grey moments | I just hope you don't turn into one of those "blue hairs" by accident having a blonde moment at the hairdresser. Hey now hold on, there is nothing wrong with being called... | ...a silver fox.
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RHP User
14 years ago
A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrant!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!" Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep. A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?"Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!". "I've been circumcised.", the other replied. "What's that mean?" "It means they cut the skin off the end." "How old were you when it was cut off?" "My mom said I was two days old." "Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly. "You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"xx Salina
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RHP User
14 years ago
KD, you had a challenge, a really stupid one but albeit a challenge and I see no mention of it anywhere so this ones just for you..... What is the difference between Oral sex and Anal sex?? Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak!xx Salina(it is really a terrible joke I was just trying to find one about anal sex and this was the least err, crass) :P
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