A Convenient List of Excuses

A lot of people on here complain about being ghosted. It’s happened to me and it sucks. So I’ve compiled a list of excuses to keep in your back pocket if you ever need to get out of a date and don’t want to be rude.

1) Sorry, I totally forgot but my cat’s sister’s best friend is having her third wedding anniversary and they have asked me to cater for it. We’ll need to postpone.

2) I was sunbathing naked in a swamp and fell asleep. My penis got mauled by mosquitos and now resembles a noni fruit. Could we do another night perhaps?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️ This excuse can seriously backfire if she has a kink for noni shaped penises.

3) Hey I’m really sorry but my crazy uncle has escaped from our basement again and we need to go looking for him. It’s the third time it’s happened this month 🙄🙄 I’ll let you know when I’m next available.

4) It just occurred to me that I have a blood test tomorrow and I really need to study for it. Do you think we could reschedule?

5) With Mercury being in retrograde and Saturn moving into the house of Capricorn, now is definitely not the time for a Scorpio (insert your star sign) to be dating a Libra (insert their star sign). I’m sure you’ll agree.

6) My best friend from childhood just called. He said he’s made a huge mistake and needs some help. Something about digging a hole in the woods or something. I should be available next week if you still want to catch up?

7) I was chatting to my spirit guide in the astral realm last night and she told me it's probably not going to work out. I’m really sorry but best not to waste any more of each other’s time.

8) My best friend’s uncle’s wife’s sister’s step daughter’s best friend’s pet rock died a few days ago and the funeral is tomorrow. I’m sorry we are all very heartbroken. I’ll be in touch when I am finished with the grieving process.

If you’ve got any more to add in the comments please do.

I'd love to know the weakest excuse you’ve heard on here.