M56
50 shades of thankyou
November 15 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
A whole lot of ladies thinking emotional abuse and blackmail is kinky And to many men thinking they're dominant because they have anger management issues and some cable ties. While these are the negatives - hopefully those that continue to explore find the right peers and mentors. And the people that have kept their fetish secret for fear of shame or ridicule are encouraged by knowing how many other people are into bdsm and they're not alone/weird Xxx A - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
we sold a lot more BDSM products since the book release and expect that the movie will generate more business. Duo balls were impossible to keep with at one stage. As much as the books were loathed, it has increased awareness and also curiousity so for that I think it should be applauded except from all the hipsters that were into stuff before it was cool, it is probably a bit lame.
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RHP User
11 years ago
By Association.Simple.
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RHP User
11 years ago
With some friends revolved around the fine line between pleasure and pain..Can we achieve the pleasure without another being involved,with administrring the pain,will the endorphins kick in ,is it possible to be auto erotic when it comes to pain?Or is having someone else in control of administering the means an absolutely essential ingredient.?... I don't have many kinks but the few I have sometimes shock people...it's a little disappointing but there ya go....I believe that more women are shopping in the rope department of Bunnings these days,and certainly macrame hasn't made a big comeback,so perhaps you are right OP,50 shades of snoozeville had made an impact on suburbia.. But then again,weird and wonderful things have always gone on there,just look for the twitching lace at the windows,a sure sign that Mrs.Jones is waiting for herkinky lover :-) xxFreya
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Hottie1
11 years ago
Someone to show me what it's all about 😍 Mary xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
ON THE GOOD SIDE YES WOMEN HAVE OPENED THERE MIND AND FOUND HOW HOT AND HORNY IT IS TO SERVE A MAN. ON THE DOWN SIDE SITES NOW HAVE GUYS SAYING THEREDOMS TO GET SEX OR ABUSE WOMEN AND IF WOMEN MEETTHESE GUYS TRUE DOMS LOSE A LOVING CAREING SUB BECAUSE THESE LADIES DONT EVER TRY AGAIN.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yeah it's poorly written but it has broadened people eyes to non vanilla which is a good thing. Has also opened up a lot more wannabe fraud doms using it as an excuse to treat people badly. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry, just love that name, Coming from a very vanilla marriage, where even reading the books was a huge eye opener, they definitely made me realise that I wanted to try a lot of new things. I went to Mistress Anna's 50 Shades workshop but I was more interested in the flogging part of it. I agree with Araps, finding a real Dom and not just a wannabe does seem to be a huge challenge from what I've heard. Some men seem to think that spanking your arse and pulling your hair is being dominant. They also think that having a dominant personality makes them a Dom. L4Q(I deserve to have my arse spanked)
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Does he love me doesn't he love me crap could easily been just 3 books. Give me Tiffany Reisz and The Original Sinners series anyday. Would rather see THAT movie!!
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MissBishere
11 years ago
I loved the books and while I already had a burgeoning interest in BDSM it certainly pushed me to find out more and to start exploring this area. Must say I've liked pretty much everything I've experience so far the only thing I didn't like was my face being slapped by a hand. I think the books definitely broaden woman's minds to other elements that could be introduced and in someways probably saved a few marriages. I'm looking forward to the movie just have to find someone to see it with and make a night of it ;) and if someone has a red room of pain I am very curious to visit it 😜
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek' ON THE GOOD SIDE YES WOMEN HAVE OPENED THERE MIND AND FOUND HOW HOT AND HORNY IT IS TO SERVE A MAN. Well you'd better tell all those female doms out there that they're doing it wrong. It's these sorts of ignorant views of BDSM that 50 Shades just perpetuates.
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MissBishere
11 years ago
I am by no means any kind of an expert but I have never heard BDSM described as a woman serving a man. GAWD! there are obviously different degrees and ultimately people decide on the kind of relationship they will enter into and yes there is such a thing as service orientated but you can not say that BDSM in the main is just about a woman serving a man.
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RHP User
11 years ago
But was introduced to bdsm properly for the first time this year. It has become a passion, a mindset, a full psychological and sexual way of being and I am utterly at home in the darkness. There is no going back. ......;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I book 1 but I only read a few pages of book 2. Too boring, poorly written and No anal sex. What a travesty!! What I didn't linke was the insinuation that he was emotionally stunted and the only reason he liked BDSM was because of some trauma which made him afraid of love & commitment. There was also underlying theme that she could save him from this depravity with her love. I thought that was crap. so people that read it all. How did it end up? Was he almost cured of BDSM at the end?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I haven't read the books so I won't comment on their literary merit. However, they have been a mixed blessing for BDSM. I view it a lot like when tattoos became mainstream about 20 years ago. It became the in thing and people rushed out to get inked without an understanding of what the styles represented or their history. So tribal got debased and there were half arsed Chinese/Sanskrit/Hebrew texts sprouting up everywhere. People just wanted to be seen, not appreciate the underlying culture. 50 Shades seems to have legitimised BDSM but the multitude just imitate the outward face of the lifestyle, without understanding the underlying principles. It has been great for guys like me who wear suits and have taciturn personalities. But it is hard to convince them that D/s is a mental exercise and not just skin deep. As a result, they miss out on the deeper purpose of the activities, and are just ticking boxes. I have found it particularly amusing/annoying the people who claim to be true Doms/Dommes and decry anyone who challenges their opinions as wannabe Doms/Dommes. There is no one as strident as a convert in asserting that only they know true will of God, and that every one else is a heretic. Recently an interested "sub" asked me to answer a questionnaire with a series of A or B responses to prove I was a Dom. When I pointed out there were equally valid alternatives to A or B, I was told that I was not a true Dom because I did not match her old Dom's responses. For the love of God, there is no Ministry of BDSM handing out licences for this stuff. There are as many different styles of D/s as there are participants and like watery tarts lobbing scimitars, pop quizzes are no basis for bestowing authority on a person as the one true Dom. I can't believe the arguments I have had to explain to dilettantes that BDSM is broader than D/s, to explain the differences between Sadist/masochist relations, Daddy/baby girl, brats and switches. That it is not an exercise in the man being jealous and possessive, and seeing how much punishment they can inflict on a woman. When I explain the amount of planning behind a session, I get a blank look - I can't believe people (both D & s) can seriously get mental satisfaction just by making it up as they go along. Getting back the OP question, it is almost as if they want to just replay (rather than role play) the book and lack the imagination to go beyond the plotline. I don't really care what they did in the book, I only care what works for me and my sub. Which brings me to my final point. As I said I haven't read the book, so I don't know if it is covered there or not. But it seems that preparation and aftercare are completely ignored by the 50 Shaders. To me a good session has a beginning, middle and end, and if any of those parts are missing then it is not a complete experience. I can't believe the requests to just jump to the ropes and spanking. It takes time and effort to get to subspace (again I don't know if subspace is mentioned in the book but it doesn't seem to have permeated out into the readership) and the object is to get to that mental space, not count the number of lashes.
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RHP User
11 years ago
BDSM Bondage / Discipline Dom /Sub Sadism / Masochism As the breakdown suggests, there are so many variants to those 4 letters and it is up to the giver and receiver to communicate what the other desires. I did hear recently about a woman who was describing her Dom and I suggested printing out the signs of an Abuser as he matched them all. I've had the amazing benefits of a Dom who was my teacher to many aspects and different mediums and look forward to learning more.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Chev you have NO idea!!! Comments like that make me SICK. How about you read my post on 50 shades of caution - YOU may just learn something!
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RHP User
11 years ago
yes it can be a man serving a woman after all my girl is a switch .
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
You have no fucking idea, you never cease to amaze me with the things you say.... All I think 50 shades has done is put more ill informed people out there.... BDSM is a mutually passionate, satisfying, pleasurable and gratifying on so many different levels, to those who wish to participate in it...... Freya, I believe this is totally achievable, well I'm hoping it's going to be anyway. I'm looking for that rush, for the endorphins to kick in, the heart pounding, the adrenaline, the same way these things do with the type of sex I like to indulge in, but I'm wanting to see if I can achieve it without the sex attached to it.....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
don't need the whole kit and caboodle of BDSM to enjoy some titillation brought on from the book. If it has invoked a little bit of slap and tickle to invoke a bit more fun and passion in the bedroom then I can't see it as a bad thing. I think porn has had a lot more to do with the way men treat women badly in the bedroom than the 50 Shades novels. I don't even know a man who has read the books, only women. If anything they have inspired and empowered women to spice it up a bit. I think sites like this have also raised awareness but have more to answer for when encouraging fetishes. I will bet my bottom dollar that most fetishes have stemmed from stuff seen in porn, not read in erotic novels. As a direct response from the book, sales at the shop spiked in small time items like duo balls, butt plugs and whips, not the more hardcore items.
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RHP User
11 years ago
don't need the whole kit and caboodle of BDSM to enjoy some titillation brought on from the book. If it has invoked a little bit of slap and tickle to invoke a bit more fun and passion in the bedroom then I can't see it as a bad thing. I think porn has had a lot more to do with the way men treat women badly in the bedroom than the 50 Shades novels. I don't even know a man who has read the books, only women. If anything they have inspired and empowered women to spice it up a bit. I think sites like this have also raised awareness but have more to answer for when encouraging fetishes. I will bet my bottom dollar that most fetishes have stemmed from stuff seen in porn, not read in erotic novels. As a direct response from the book, sales at the shop spiked in small time items like duo balls, butt plugs and whips, not the more hardcore items.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Cant believe I'm about to say this..... but..... In one small way.... I'm going to defend our "learned" colleague Chevs comment. Some people practice their own version of BDSM in a way which is beyond the definitions understood and practiced by those who feel more qualified or experienced to evaluate what other people do.... ...but who the hell are they to decide what is or isn't the definition of what is done between consenting adults?!! Who are these people who decry from on high, what is the "right" version... or wrong version... of an individuals definition, and their enjoyment of it?!? We claim to be open minded, but, get caught up on what "is", within a 4 letter anagram... BDSM. YOU might think a three-letter word, SEX, means to take one penis and one vagina and play compatible-bodyparts with them. But clearly gay, bi, or lesbian sex doesn't fit this definition of sex.... neither does a hand job, or oral or using toys, or dirty talk whispered to a partners ear which clearly arouses them significantly in a VERY sexual way. Now... .....after saying all of that........ I believe that in general terms, most of what Chev says isn't worth reading, let alone having it SHOUTED at us. So un-caps your comments, & remove the bold font.
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
But to spice it up is all it is, the books are not a true reflection on the BDSM scene, because there is so much more to it.... I'm all for people trying new things, spicing it up, making the experience enjoyable, but the problem with the books (yes I read them, a couple of times, just as so I didn't miss anything) is that the people (I say people, because I know men who have read them too) who read then, then go looking for a Dom/Domme because they are wanted to experience the book experience. Don't get me wrong there are defiantly sensual Dom's/Domme's, real Dom's/Domme's out there willing to help, train and that you can learn from, but there are also people that will take advantage of these people, this is where you will see people abused, mistreated and then it is the BDSM scene that is targeted as a result.... 💋..... Again just my opinion.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
50 Shades was a huge topic of conversation amongst the mums at school so it definitely provided some titillation. It is fiction and I don't think it reflects BDSM in any true sense. @ Meeka, they ended up married with 1 kid, another 1 on the way and lived happily ever after, of course! I don't think she "Cured" him but she might have been starting to see things from his point of view
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