Get That Boner Under Control.

Inopportune boners are a reality. You need to handle them before wandering eyes spot it

Christina Miller | February 02 2016

Get That Boner Under Control.

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Swingers

Boners. At the right place and time, they are a source of pride, an expression of your manhood.

Other times, for no apparent reason they decide to show up inconveniently at the worst possible time, in the unsexy places. They can prove to be hazardous too. Watch this short video of a man catching his ride home when he gets an unexpected visit:

What brings its uncalled-for visit?

Inopportune boners are a reality. You need to handle them before wandering eyes spot it and take you for a pervert.

Luckily, a few sleight-of hand manoeuvres can keep the situation under wraps in almost any situation.

The Choker

How to do it: With the speed and agility of a frightened cat, cautiously reach into your pocket and wrap your hands around your pointer. Grip that pecker and strangle the blood from it back to your brain.

Draw The Curtain

When your jimmy's been playing back and forward ball game in your sports shorts. All the excitement has given him the wrong idea; swiftly pull that long t-shirt over your stiff.

The Flex

Redditor, Masterwad, suggests a perfect move: “You don't have to wait it out. A man can get rid of an erection by flexing a large muscle for about 30 seconds or more, like both thighs. If you're sitting, rest your feet on your toes and push off the ground as if you're just about to stand up.”

The Cold Blow

Having a few drinks with some mates and there it is. Don’t want your friends to think any of them turns you on. Look at the drink in your hand and quickly grab an ice cube. Cautiously slip the ice into your pants and press the ice against your pink helmet. The cold will give you appropriate shrinkage.

The Pocketeer

No, we’re not talking about those pocket games from the mid-seventies. This is the oldest trick in the book. You simply put your hand in the pocket and frenziedly push your boner against your thigh and use your hand as a shield. To really pull this off you need a diversion. Use your other hand and gesticulate like you recently arrived from Italy. Keep your crowd amused until you got no wood.

Commit these to memory to avoid finding your name on the list of “people who get boners in weird places.” Really, there you’ll find people of all walks of life – royalty, singers, actors and your ordinary Joe.

What is your go to manoeuvre to tame your boner?