F39
Does ‘Open Relationship’ put you off?
October 01 2024
Comments
NeoAndTrin
3 months ago
I would've thought being on a swingers site usually meant people might realise the relationships are often "open".
Silly me for giving the masses the benefit of the doubt!
Andrea_Sydney
3 months ago
That’s an odd one! No, I never had any strange reactions. We don’t use the term open relationship, we usually say ENM. But when we were still playing separately, technically that’s what an open relationship is. Maybe are some people disappointed they don’t get to be your secret? Maybe they are inexperienced with the scene and the various relationship styles? I’m intrigued!
Andrea
Felicitous
3 months ago
I find it incredibly ironic that many (not all) swinging 'couples' are so laden with rules and judgement..
"If you're not playing together it's cheating"
"If you kiss them it's cheating"
Understanding of course that boundaries tightrope comfort... And for each this will obviously differ and I'm not judging others for having them.. I simply think it's rather fascinating.
I had the same mindset when we entered this crazy world.. I had a list of do's and don't.s.
For me (not saying this is the same for others) that was born largely from insecurity and a scarcity mentality.. a societal mindset/ belief system well ingrained without much opportunity for reflection or questioning..
"You can only love one person"
"If you have feelings for another you're cheating"
It was my husband's lack of such rigid thought and utter compersion that made me look at things differently.. We both pursue 'others' separately now and are rather monogamous in our ENM pairings.. but have no restrictions on our 'others'.
I've found little judgement being the female in an open relationship/ though stay away from couples and unicorning and don't think most males mind or care.
However I do think men get scrutinized way more and when in open relationships are mostly being considered as cheating.
I think ultimately those that don't 'get it' are really missing out in many ways - though each to their own. Allowing your partner to grow into another allows an expansion and growth unlike anything else in this crazy swinging world and those that navigate this 'open relationship' space respectfully and with love
are exactly the types we gravitate towards... Rare as they maybe.
I say let the judgers judge... For they do not know what they do not allow.
Ps... Very sexy new pic 😘
V
NatSquared
3 months ago
It's just something a lot of people have trouble understanding and relating to, as they themselves feel they'd struggle with the idea of their partner being off on their own playing with other people. Even if it doesn't affect your time with them, that awareness can lead to unease. I'm sure we've all felt that sense of insecurity or distrust before, it's a shame but it is what it is.
For our thoughts on the topic, it doesn't bother us at all, someone being in an open relationship doesn't affect us or our play. It can actually be a good thing if attraction, mood, or timing doesn't suit a threesome/swap.
FeistyFatty
3 months ago
Wow, really? I've never found that to be the case at all and we've been ENM since the late 90s/early 2000s. I've actually been thinking lately how mainstream its becoming. Maybe you've just had a run of bad luck? Or the people you're engaging aren't the right ones for you?
Sawadee
3 months ago
It wouldn't bother us one way or another if any of our friends or playmates were in a open relationship.. Each to their own as they say.. Just by being part of this crazy site you presume the people you chat with are open anyway.. We prefer to play as a couple as Mrs likes the safety angle but has always encourage me if and when the opportunity presents itself.. So yes ' we are open in our own way and we never feel others are cheating if that's their thing...
Margo_Lover
3 months ago
I wonder if the fact you have a partner is what puts them off, more so than the open side of things? Given you have a solo woman account.
(No judgement here, Margo has a solo woman account too.)
I suspect many would prefer not to feel the need to compete with an existing partner.
For us, I don't recall anyone having issues with our openness though.
- Alex
RachWandered
3 months ago
Sounds like a typical Sydney swinger.
Must be all the open people have moved to QLD 😉
People are strange… I know I am. I have these opinions like gender is a social construct and it really puts people off … who’d have thunk?
Nice profile pic but I think your hands got in the way 😝😝😘RachWandered
3 months ago
Oh and to answer the question
No open relationship doesn’t put me off as such.
But I get why people would prefer you’re cheating… discreet affair types are often highly motivated to meet for sex … so I’ve heard 🙄
gazpacho
3 months ago
Don’t you get tired of judgy peeps applying their limiting ideas to everyone else’s business? If you introduce them to your spouse as “the fuck” it might keep them in their place and kerb their expectations.
Massage_Donor
2 months ago
I've found a few barriers being attached in an open relationship with my primary partner.
One is that some simply only want to play with unattached. That's their prerogative, and I don't judge.
Another is the (often implicit) assumption that I may be cheating. These are generally simply addressed by me offering to give evidence that I'm not. Very few have taken me up on the offer.
The main one is availability. As well as the usual family, work and other life commitments, I also need to prioritise the needs of my primary partner. Which means I can't always be out and about with others.
Despite these things, I'm loving being on here and having connections with others.RHP User
2 months ago
It is a personal thing. I don't want to be with a MF couple ever. And I don't want to help someone cheat.
I would be with 2 females.
It is just not my thing.
In that respect it does not excite me or turn me on. I don't go looking for that though. If a mf couple approached me, I would decline. So I guess it is a turn off to me.
If a lady in a relationship is allowed too play separately outside of her relationship then I am unsure what I would do. Again a personal thing.
I myself won't play in a relationship. I think it defeats the purpose of having a relationship. Happy to have FWB or encounters
Primal_Curiosity
2 months ago
It should convey a sense that this person is emotionally responsible and that’s a green flag.
However, I say “should”.
In most cases I find this to be true but everyone has a deviation of what open means. To some it’s not defined out of respect, curiosity, growth but of more sinister means.
So I would like to think it shows self-awareness on an attractive scale but further interrogation is always advisable.
Boards
Forum help
Something related with that
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
report