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If you ever watched 'How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days', you’ll know that a penis pet name can be a deal breaker.

Oh yeah, calling it ‘Princess Sophia’ is going to send your lover to a very dark place. You’ll kill the mood and do irreparable damage to your partner's self esteem and male ego.

Now you know what not to call his junk, instead opt for some hyper masculine, butches name possible to make your man feel manly. Don't even try to bring logic into this. 

Let’s face it, man are fascinated by their junk. They graffiti them, doodle them in notebooks, measure and compare them in locker rooms. It’s only appropriate that we have fitting nicknames. 

Girly, cute or any cute diminutive name are a bad idea, you risk everything - love, a relationship or a good bang.

So, what do you call his phallus?

You could go for the classic nicknames that stood the test of time - big dick, big boy, love stick , or cock .

Here’s a list of nicknames for his junk.

1. Moby Dick. (Because it's large and he appreciates a halfway-decent pun.)

2. Vlad the Impaler

3. Sex Pistol

4. Weapon of Ass Destruction

5. Trouser Snake

6. Pleasure Pump

7. Lap Rocket

8. Lord Hardwick

9. Frank n’ beans

10. Excalibur

11. Cave hunter

12. Sexy Beast

13. Magic stick

14. Snake

15. Buster Mc Thunderstick

Let's be honest, all penises need to be treated with respect. After all, there are some good looking schlongs out there that deserve to have fitting names, jokes aside. 

And then this.....

Do you have any good nicknames or slang for ‘penis’? Comment below to tell us what we missed.