M35

Wife’s boyfriend

October 09 2021

Just looking for some advice and real world experience. Wife and I have started an open relationship and obviously we are finding our feet with what works and what doesn’t.

She feels that she needs to be comfortable with the person she is going to be with rather than just a random and I understand that, but have any of you guys (or girls) struggled with the idea of your partner having a boyfriend (or girlfriend).

To me it’s the unknown that is worrying me, I trust my wife 110% but obviously we have been together for nearly 8 yrs and never been with anyone else.
It doesn’t help that I have 3 weeks off sick leave from surgery and I’m not a person who can relax and do nothing so she knows I’m overthinking a lot of this.
Thanks

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2EssesExploring
3 years ago
Oh so much to discuss here. Happy for you to send us a pm to talk about our experience with it all
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Cucknshells
3 years ago
We are in an open relationship and I can relate to what you are experiencing. I would recommend reading the books The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy and Opening Up by Tristan Taormino together. Both great books that are really informative.

Shells
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evo67
3 years ago
It will take time to find the right guy, because your asking a total stranger to respect your boundaries as well as respect you and your wife. They are out there just hard to find. We’ve been at it for 5 years and had plenty of meetings and we finally found someone that the wife enjoys spending time with and some who I trust ( big thing for myself). If your interested in the good and the bad send us a message and I’ll fill you in on some of the details.
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RHP User
3 years ago
As is so often the case things hardly ever go as you expect them to. Wifey doesn't do social media in any form she met her bloke IRL.
Wifey fell in love with her boyfriend, I was OK with that but his wife wasn't...
I'm too am happy to chat of the forum.
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Sawadee
3 years ago
Been there, so l know the many questions go around in your head. But the thing that finally dawned on me was without meeting face to face and getting to know someone ' how would you know if she / he is what your looking for ?
Sitting back pondering the " what if's " is confusing and unproductive. We arranged to meet a few guys at neutral location to get a feel for the person to see if Mrs S was attracted and comfortable. Only a few , and on each occassions 2 to 3 meetings.. But at least we had something to work with.. For us ' it was always about safety first , and Mrs S choice. Seeing our first meet was successful it lead to a second... Botton line is if youre serious ' dont dither, its a waste of emotional energy...
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RHP User
3 years ago
Sorry, I should have mentioned that I’m not being involved in this. It’s strictly my wife and her boyfriend.
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RHP User
3 years ago
"I've had amazing sex. He fucked me senseless, and I came like never before. And then again. I gargled, then swallowed. The kissing. The cuddling. God he makes me feel fucking amazing. I can't wait for it again."

If "He" isn't you? And it's "Him"? Well, your arrangement is derangement.

I couldn't do it. Ever.
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nightingale8
3 years ago
It’s a big jump from opening the relationship to have sex with others to opening the relationship to have other relationships. There is the middle ground of just opening things up for sex and dating? I like this set up because relationships are messy and hard work. That doesn’t mean to don’t respect, like or even love a friend with benefits. It just removes the expectations. Though sometimes I have to pull back because my relationship with my partner takes priority. I made that choice before I started on this journey and it’s important to me to keep it.
Though I’m guessing it might be less of insecurity about her falling in love and leaving you, and more to do with feeling insecure about someone else sexually satisfying her? Especially being physically incapacitated following surgery. Have lots to say on that but the short of it is- if you feel jealous make yourself more desirable. State your needs and work toward getting those met.
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Mrs_Deep_Love
3 years ago
Happy to chat over PM. I have lots of experience in this exact area.
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ElectricDreamers
2 years ago
Poly is a different beast to swinging, just like swinging it can real deepen your pre-existing relationship and the more you let go the closer you can actually become.

But also catching feelings can come with bad choices while someone is wearing rose-tinted glasses.

Have guidelines not rules.

Any 3rd parties are people with feelings and the right to be respected not a toy to be turned on or off.

Tread carefully, talk deeply and regularly, keep an open heart - and it's important she understands anything that you allow for her - is something you can find for yourself one day. She may not like that.

Swinging is SO much easier.
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RHP User
2 years ago
It’s gotta go like this bro... it’s actually you that needs to except this guy also. Not suggesting anything Bi , this guy has to have a genuine respect for you and your marriage...guy needs to control emotions and keep the connection with wife in check. When I have fukd another mans wife, I’m grateful to the bloke and the wife for the experience and in return I totally respect the sanctity of the marriage. You both have to like and establish trust and understanding of everyone’s boundaries and any rules that someone may require. You gotta like guy and feel comfortable communicating anything that you may concern you. End of the day she your wife, it must be on your terms. Good luck hope it goes well for you both.
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RHP User
2 years ago
I am also looking for someone for my wife. I'm thinking of finding an escort first.
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RHP User
2 years ago
As a wife who has had several steady boyfriends over the years don't overthink it. You are her husband who she will always will come back to. It is just some fun and to release some tension, not to challenge your relationship.
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