We WANT to be your fantasy, but it’s not that simple

May 09 2022

Most of us here want to please our partners, then there are those select few who are online just for their own selfish amusement.

But as women? You know we don’t just shower and turn up looking like a million dollars right? There is always a lot of time, effort and money invested in making sure we look our best, our sexiest, and the way you imagined.

When someone replies to your messages, they are giving you their time and attention, they are choosing to spend their time on you, giving you priority over everything else in their life, in that moment.

If they choose to meet up with you, again, they are organising their responsibilities, their life, to make time for you.

If they choose to give you more than just a meet, depending on what your fantasy is, you can guarantee she has gone to every effort she could to provide it.

We aren’t ‘hairless’ time and money have been spent achieving that, to be bare, smooth and ready to blow your mind.

Our skin isn’t perfect, we age, we do what we can to look young, to stay attractive to you.

Lingerie isn’t cheap, we could spend our money on soooo many other things, but lingerie drives him wild, and we want him to be happy.

Apart from the dollars we prioritise to invest in these things, all to give him a better time and experience, time is also money.

It’s one thing to turn up sexy, bare and ready to fuck, it’s a whole different ball game if you want all holes available. Before any meet, I avoid smelly foods, God forbid my breathe or body odour be bad, but if he wants ‘everything’ prep starts the day before, to ensure there are no messy accidents and it is as much fun as it looks like in porn.

I can guarantee, that if she is going to this much effort, you are on her mind, she is thinking about you, her body is reacting to you, you have her mind and her body at your beck and call. That kind of distraction can affect everything, her driving, her work, her sleep.

Foreplay starts from the minute you have her attention. Stop taking advantage of it. Whether you don’t have the confidence to meet, and prefer to hide behind the screen and get yourself off, whether you get a better offer from someone else, whether you get rip roaring drunk and end up too hungover to meet, the reason doesn’t matter.

Just stop it. Now. Stop ‘pretending’ to be interested, if you are online for home entertainment, there are services who provide it, use them, they have consented to it, stop deceiving people who actually give you the benefit of the doubt, their time, money and effort. You are stealing from them, and from all the men who do treat us right, who do appreciate the effort we go to, who do shower, shave and turn up to meets looking fresh and smelling great, who are willing to reach into their pocket and buy us a coffee or dinner. Men who APPRECIATE what we have spent and the effort we have gone to.

Fucking with someone’s emotions and self esteem has consequences. Stop treating people like they are disposable, replaceable or unimportant.

No means no, and everyone has the right to change their mind. Problem is, people seem to have forgotten how to be honest, kind and thoughtful in their pursuit of a ‘happy ending’.

If you want sex with no effort, hire someone, if you want an experience, then read her profile, treat her like she is a person, and appreciate and respect her. Remember, her inbox is overflowing, if you get any response to a message, value it.

Women? If you are using men for anything other than mutual sexual satisfaction, you are just as bad as the online time waster man. Go find yourself a sugar Daddy who gets off on that kind of treatment. Don’t pretend to be in it because you like them, when you only want their wallet.

Comments

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  • FiestyFatty

    3 months ago

  • nqbeaches

    3 months ago

    Nicely constructed discussion.
    Hopefully most men adhere to a similar routine in order to impress or make it a mutually enjoyable experience.

  • cheekygentleman

    3 months ago

    It’s the tale as old as time, fantasy vs reality

    The effort, the moving of our lives, relying on mutual respect

    The split seems two ways, we hear guys want pics, but women want the feeling of being desired.

    The odds are against those genuine, but when it clicks, it’s so good (clicks, being the word).

    It’s becoming a culture of ignorance, one where we can all be the better human.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    3 months ago

    BUT WAIT!
    I don't mind using men (who give consent). It doesn't mean I want their wallets or need a Sugar Daddy.

    Ms Foxy

  • FiestyFatty

    3 months ago

  • DoItRight

    3 months ago

    Impressive constructive paragraphs, great read. Yes preparation with time spend to be your best on meets is totally respected and appreciate from this view. Unfortunately in our life of many different journeys for every amazing person you meet there is always going to be a few more that have no idea, it's a beautiful thing to have standards of engagement to maintain with no adjustment, hold your values as we have less days to live than what we have lived, enjoy the ones you want share life with.

  • Hiluxman1

    3 months ago

    Ahmen abit of effort and respect goes a long way 👍💯

  • Rising_Phoenix

    3 months ago

    I actually got exhausted reading this 😅
    That’s a lot of effort to go to and a few too many expectations for me...

    Dear men, foreplay does NOT start the moment you have my attention, not even close, please don’t think that.
    I’ve also never “prepped all holes” to meet someone, that level of effort was only ever for the MVP.

    No people should not use each other but you also shouldn’t give more than you’re willing to lose just in case they take it and run. That goes for money and feelings 😉

  • countrytouch82

    3 months ago

    Finding someone, be it for a night, a short term or long term, can take a LOT of time, effort and certainly money (eg in physical products, fuel, site memberships, time used in place of work, ticket event fees, or other).

    The amount of cumulative effort seems wasted when ultimately, we appear to spend much much more time looking and preparing and hoping than the comparitively tiny amount of time actually spent in the communication and physical company of someone actually quite decent and respectful, and compatible with one's self.

    But, I think, that makes the great moments that much more precious and memories worth holding on to.

    On individual occasions, it is rightly frustrating to make various efforts for say, stood up dates, or seemingly promising communication resulting in ghosting for no apparent reason, but all humans are greatly fallible and sh*t goes wrong with accidental, deliberate or circumstancial intent all the time, that hurts others, be it in dating, communication, relationships, working life, driving, etc etc.

    All of us have our own needs and wants and hopes and dreams and desires at any point in time. We want someone to complement those even if it's just for one night, and meet their own desires, ie fantasies. Fantasies aren't just sexual but also fantasies involving how we want our life to be.

    Whenever we hold fantasies involving other people, that will always be at risk to our own emotions, because we have little or no control actually of other people or their actions. Particularly when such people do not have any such investment (yet) in own own life, like an established partner, friends, or family will.

    We have to manage our emotions and expectations with people that are only slightly better than complete strangers. The amount of effort we put into try and meet them or play is not necessarily relevant in their completely seperate life, which may or may not be fair on occasions, but that's life, I guess. Just my own musings.

  • Oil_beef_Hooked

    3 months ago

    Here’s a thought, how about people in general just don’t be dicks!
    Maybe I’m showing my age but I think you should treat people and react to people in exactly the same way you would if you met them on the street.
    I wouldn’t walk up to a woman and say “hey wanna fuck” and proceed to whip my todger out 🤷‍♂️
    Let’s stop hiding behind the screen

  • HoneyAndTheBee

    3 months ago

    Unfortunately the time wasters you describe barely read a profile let alone a how to be respectful post.

  • Introfiant_sub

    3 months ago

    Clean sheets would be a nice start when I rock up to a date dressed in expensive lingerie and heels.

  • smoothnsexy2sme

    3 months ago

    Spot on. Well said and absolutely agree.

  • nightingale8

    3 months ago

    I have noticed a strange phenomenon of people not following up in person or cancelling last minute when I have made time to meet more than a day away. Never encountered this before. It’s rare for me to come out given my working ridiculous hours so it has been a bit of a let down when I do make the time. Guilty with my own sins online of course.

  • KinkTemptation

    3 months ago

    @countrytouch82 I should mention, I don’t go to this effort for strangers, these are people in my life who apparently value me 🙄 which I call bullshit. Selfishness. It’s not a one off, these men hang around for years, they fuck up, they suck up, they treat me right, then they let me down again, usually because they are hungover. They are nice guys. That’s what’s confusing. Just selfish and stupid, if they think it only takes me 5 minutes to be ready for everything we do.

  • KinkTemptation

    3 months ago

    @Oil_beef_Hooked OMG 😳 cannot love this enough!!! I don’t know how many times I remind people they would be arrested if they went up to a stranger in the street and flashed their genitals!! Just because it’s the internet, it’s anonymous, doesn’t give you the right to non-consent. Which is what uninvited dick pics are. Or worse, pics of other women!!! Biggest red flag ever!

  • KinkTemptation

    3 months ago

    @HoneyAndTheBee Those ‘time wasters’ have been around for years 🙄 it’s not strangers that enticed this rant

  • KinkTemptation

    3 months ago

    @Introfiant_sub I know!!! How gross is that!!! Dirty house, bed and cock usually 🤮

  • KinkTemptation

    3 months ago

    @nightingale8 I agree. Unless I am dying (hasn’t happened yet 😆) I don’t cancel. The only reason I have ever cancelled is when I get a really bad gut feeling. Every time I have ignored that gut feeling and told myself I was over reacting, I have been hurt. So now I trust it. But I usually can identify dangerous people from the initial conversation. It’s the nice ones that fuck me up 🙄 they have a way with words and my body.

  • KinkTemptation

    3 months ago

    @Rising_Phoenix So you are saying, that if his words are turning you off, you still give them the benefit of the doubt and meet them?

    Stuff that, if he isn’t turning me on at the idea of meeting him then it’s always a no. I can’t stand disrespectful, self entitled messages like ‘let’s fuck’ or ‘baby I can please all your wildest fantasies’ then he continues to describe my worst nightmares. Foreplay starts from the pictures, then the conversation. If I am not wet, it’s not happening.

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