Sexual relevance

September 03 2020

A bit of background, I work in a male dominated industry where men (usually 50+) freely through around sexist comments. So I was in the lunch room today at work. There was a woman on the tv, approximately 65 years old. She was upset over having being catfished online. One bloke made the comment "She's just upset because she has lost her sexual relevance..."

I was astonished that (A) men think women lose 'sexual relevance' with age and (B) He thought this was an ok thing to say out loud.
All I could say is "Thank god this industry will be breeding out dinosaurs like you in the next 10 years." - meaning he will retire.

So a question to the men and women of RHP, Is sexual relevance a thing? Is that how men really see women, as people that age out of the sexy system?

I'm pissed off and sensitive - I'll be 40 in a couple of months lol

Comments

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  • Mrs_Deep_Love

    23 days ago

    *throw

  • MissyT

    23 days ago

    There’s a couple of issues with this particular situation. The first one is workplace discrimination, where your male colleague chose to make an inappropriate comment based on gender as well as an implication on said person’s age. On this basis alone I would consider the issues is more with your male colleague than of the alleged sexual relevance. The second issue I personally have, is that this particular man is in a position of influence. If this male colleague of yours holds women in such questionable regard, I would therefore question his professional integrity and ability to work well with others in any capacity. Yes, I know, I’m getting all uppity. I’m not even going near catfishing.

    You and I both know each other personally, so you know my comments come from a good place. So, from me to you, the only sexual relevance you need to be concerned about is your own. Any man (or woman - no gender bias here) who expresses those [types of] comments is the kind of person I would not want to be spending any time with, in any capacity. Especially sexually.

    Besides girl, I’ve got what, nearly three years on you? You’ve got nothing to worry about. You’re smokin’. I’ll expire before you!

    T x

  • Rlee552

    23 days ago

    @MissyT Clearly inappropriate comment to say in the workplace, and may be a breach of sexual harassment laws. Leaving aside though that aspect, clearly inappropriate and insulting thing to say in any walk of life. It is simply a mean nasty thing to say.

    To be honest, I have never heard the term sexual relevance and what it may mean. If it means what think it means then absolute bollocks. So this statement from that man does not reflect what I believe.

    PS - being a single guest male I regularly get catfished, and I have yet to defeat time moving in a relatively linear fashion for me. I hope though despite my lack of a six pack and the advent of some wrinkles, I still remain sexually relevant.

  • Rlee552

    23 days ago

    @Rlee552 Whoops. Replied to MsT when meant to post as its own standalone comment. Obviously my eyesight and technical ability is losing its relevance.

  • LovesProper

    23 days ago

    No way older women rule big time, under 30s are for boys, i like women all the way up to gilf age. The guys a fucking loser, period.

  • moan_a_lisa

    23 days ago

    Sexual relavence not a term I've heard either. Perhaps he is just not getting any at home. I like the term use it or lose it. So at 50 I will be using it for as long as I can. Besides I think women really start having a high sex drive from 45 onwards.
    As for male dominated industries Ive worked in them all my life. Those sorts of comments are best ignored unless directed at yourself. Plus there is always a time later that presents when you can have the perfect come back comment.

  • Kokoflamingo

    23 days ago

    Oops, I dont have long to go before Im sexually redundant, ( big eye roll)...... My sex life has been all the better in the last few years, Im comfortable with myself and what I want and like. Ill probably be the feisty one in the residential carehome sneaking in wine and teasing all the men. Jokes aside, what a load of nonsense. I agree with Moan a Lisa, he is maybe frustrated. Im not going to be hanging up the lingerie any time soon

  • nightingale8

    23 days ago

    What does being catfished have to do with sexual value? How bizzare. He’s using someone’s misfortune as ammunition to insult them.

  • Kokoflamingo

    23 days ago

    @nightingale8 Someone being older is their misfortune....really?

  • SpicyKale

    23 days ago

    We'd like to think it's just a case of boys being boys in the workplace, but if you say it, chances are you believe it. It's just a masogonistic rant by a guy that's probably not getting any himself and looking for someone to blame rather than having a bit of self reflection! To some degree it's like the profiles on here that talk about letting "their" wife do..... xyx, or mention wife swapping! That time has passed and we all need to move on. Women are sexy, powerful, strong and independent at any age! I just hope the guys daughters never hear him belittling women like that🙁 Chances are he doesn't realise he's doing it and has never been picked up on it in thirty odd years of adulthood🤷🏻‍♂️

  • nightingale8

    23 days ago

    @Kokoflamingo Being older is quite fortunate in my book. Being catfished is not.

  • MissyT

    23 days ago

    @Rlee552 Ah, but your eloquence is on point!

  • MissyT

    23 days ago

    @Kokoflamingo Trust and believe, the residents in the age care homes have a booze stash in their wee fridges. You only have to worry about the ones who: tipple too much, or can’t open the bottle! I’m with you; ride ‘til I die.

  • MissyT

    23 days ago

    @SpicyKale We all know from our years (as my hand shakes on my mental walking stick) of experience how long it takes to change a narrative. Sexism, racism, ageism, all the isms, form a part of the collective mindset that has been slowly changing... over centuries! We are at our most progressive now, but our most outspoken (and sometimes our thoughtlessness creates hurt). In @Mrs_Deep_Love ‘s situation, her colleague should have looked around, assessed his environment, and maturely shut the fuck up.

  • SpicyKale

    23 days ago

    @MissyT Never have truer words been said! I've spent more time in the last few years picking my dad up for homophobic comments than the young guys on building sites. There's hope for us all yet! It starts at home, set a good example for your kids and hopefully it follows from there. With as much as there is in the media about the me too movement etc... over the last few years you'd hope the older guys would start to be picked up on there on their shit by male colleagues. It's not Mrs_Deep_Love's job to be picking them up on it, the other guys in the workplace need to stand up!

  • MissyT

    23 days ago

    @SpicyKale Preach

  • SuperFoxxxy

    23 days ago

    Comments like that are telling you how they regard and view women. Nothing to do with you. Best to ignore. If the comments continue, stand up for yourself and say something or report it. If you don't, you are then part of the problem.
    Ms Foxy

  • nightingale8

    22 days ago

    By the way Mrs Deep Love that was an excellent come back. Happy birthday!

    One could also throw the question back to him, “are you sexually relevant?” He he

  • MissyT

    22 days ago

    @nightingale8 He might get the wrong idea. Let’s not poke the wrong bear...

  • Tall_n_Hard

    22 days ago

    Never heard of the "sexual relevance" turn of phrase before either, but I understand it in the context described. Unfortunately, Mrs D L , I don't think that this thinking will be "bred out" in the timeframe you are looking at. I believe that it will still be an issue for many more years to follow, particularly in the type of situation you have described (ie male dominated). Old culturalisms (habits) do die hard, and are passed from one generation to another - even the 'younger' generations of today will generally follow suit in that type of atmosphere.

    Of course not condoning the views, but just stating what I believe is the general course of happening.

    But this example is also not simply a one gender bias - women also give men above a "certain" age and beyond their own form of sexual relevance descrimination, too !

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