Going it alone

August 02 2022

My husband has always supported me in every endeavour whether it be work related or hobbies etc. 100% positive reinforcement. This is also true sexually. Whatever I wanted to explore or experience he gave me a blank cheque to do whatever.
How many women have the same support? How have you followed through? Was it liberating, daunting or was it something that held you back.
I ask because no matter what , I can't bring myself to fully explore because I don't like to think my husband is missing out.
He cancelled our couples profile and said I should go it alone because he's not interested anymore.
In some ways I blame myself for not being as enthusiastic as I could have been. So should I go it alone? Is it possible to play without your partner and have fun without feeling guilty?

Comments

  • Hotwivesclub

    Hotwivesclub

    2 years ago

    There's no need to feel guilty unless you suspect he's silently disappointed or harbouring resentment.

    You might find he's titillated by the concept of you letting your hair down or you may find it's an outlet for you that allows you to relax a little more in your relationship dynamic as you trust and appreciate how kind and giving g he is.

    Lots of couples play separately or with only one active partner, the structure the develop for play and interactions with others varies with every couple.

    Some guys find the scene a lot like hard work, given they already have a sexual partner they know genuinely wants them, it is easier for women.

    You could always ask him if he'd like to just watch you with another guy, or be involved through you bringing video of the encounter back. Or streaming him in, it's one way to stay connected whilst also spreading your... wings.

  • Libertine001

    Libertine001

    2 years ago

    Interesting because if the shoe was on the other foot it would feel like a test..🤔

    Go for it, you only have one life and live it to the fullest.
    Everything else falls into play

    Libertine

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 years ago

    It would be interesting to hear another womans perspective.

  • nightingale8

    nightingale8

    2 years ago

    Some great comments above.
    You don’t have to take up solo explorations just because you can. I’m a big believer in practising restraint in abundance - it makes what you deliberate and that much more special. Plus it’s more respectful to your husband that you aren’t just taking the piss for the sake of it. …BUT if exploring sexually is important to you, thank him, make something of it and don’t for a second feel guilty.

    My partner has given me so many freedoms and it has enhanced my life and his. Things haven’t been without constraints or hiccups but it’s been an amazing set of experiences I’ll keep close in memory and wildly liberating

  • Kattere_70

    Kattere_70

    2 years ago

    My husband and I had a cpls profile years ago and met and played with a few cpls … but it was never really his thing … he’s happy for me to meet cpls on my own .. he even drives me sometimes :) he like me to tell him about it when I get home … we have sex and it’s wonderful … I certainly do not feel guilty

  • JohnAnn2227

    JohnAnn2227

    2 years ago

    For a number of years we had an open marriage where we both encouraged each other to date others as well as were regularly swinging. We loved the excitement of going on a date. John would help me get ready by picking out what to wear and what lingerie. He would love to hear the next day what I got up to and we would have crazy sex. His only demand if I was picking up a one night stand while out on a girls night was that I took a photo of the guy's drivers licence and texted it to him. I also had to text him when we got to his place or the hotel room and when I was leaving to come home. Our joint rule was if feelings began that it had to end. With teenage kids it got too hard keeping up the charade of where mum or dad was overnight. This provided added excitement to our marriage and something we both enjoyed. If your husband is truly happy for you to do this and YOU really want to do it then why not? Good luck!

  • ElectricDreamers

    ElectricDreamers

    2 years ago

    VERY important to have safety rules when out as a solo lady. Always meet in public places whilst there take a selfie with the guy, send to hubby... I think the licence is a good add-on.

    Never get into a car with anyone before all safety steps have been completed, it's a big red flag if anyone tries to avoid any of these steps.

  • Margo_Lover

    Margo_Lover

    2 years ago

    Lots of wonderful thoughts & advice here.

    From the mans perspective, I'd suggest some exceedingly open conversations to be sure he's not feeling resentment that you didn't want to do this much with him, but might if you can do it alone.

    Depending on where he's at, there may be feelings for him to chat with you about and process.

    We've dealt with some of this... eg Margo being happy to visit various establishments when others are involved, but not when it's only the 2 of us. Different situation, possibly similar underlying issue. We talked at length about it, and got it figured out, but it can still sting at times.

    Hopefully he really is not interested, and hasn't kinda given up in frustration, which could lead to resentment.

    Talk lots, then talk more, don't shut him out of your fun, tell him everything he wants to know & more... above all have an amazing, guilt free time.

    - Alex.

  • teamaj2

    teamaj2

    2 years ago

    I think all the advice the forum posters have suggested is excellent , especially on safety .
    We’ve met so many many couples throughout the years and many do play separately and successfully .
    Sadly , we know a lot where separate play has caused the demise of their marriage / relationship. I can only comment from the sidelines and how I perceive what eventuated by listening to their stories.
    In a lot of cases the boundaries weren’t clear - too many grey areas . Both parties need to be honest and respectful of each others feelings . Ongoing communication is the key .
    Good luck . Ax

  • CAMCOUPLEFUN

    CAMCOUPLEFUN

    2 years ago

    No not at all if he's on bourd and your upfront with him it's a green light. You may even find by sharing your stories it might add spice for you both

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 years ago

    Really nice to see the forums are supportive, helpful and friendly group these days, great thread thanks everyone 😀

  • Beardedlemon

    Beardedlemon

    2 years ago

    In you shoes, I think be keen on the chat to see if there more.
    If you getting alot of dates of apps it can be draining. After my divorce I was the usual dating apps. I was chatting to woman on the same apps. I remember them saying it was shit because it's just a phone book of messages saying hey baby wanna fuck?
    They were took back a bit when I said I reckon men have I way worse.
    Woman have alot of the power to a degreevi feel. So they are alot more picky.
    Men will literally swipe right on every profile. I've seen blokes have conversations with the phone in their hand by their side swiping with there thumb like it's a default setting.
    I never got alot of matches so. When I got a match. You get a bit excited because some one has matched you by judging a book by its cover. I'd then take the time to write an individual message for them. You get a message back and it's a cam girl. Or it's add for hotmilfs who are hungry for cock on 5kms away. I even had fellas using fake profiles to try suck my dick. Then when you get a message from a lass it can be. The Drawn out process starts again. You maybe messaging 2 or 3women lady's have 100s of unopened messages. And no doubt a few men she is maintaining thr relationship with. Then maybe she is seeing one regularly to bump uglies.
    I never meant to go that deep but he may just be burnt our from that process.
    Or he could just be quite content with life. He's happy to come home on a Friday night order a pizza and have a couple beers watching the footy. Then knowing your having is a bonus.