Friend Zoned Everytime

September 03 2021

Everytime I meet a nice chick (which isn't very often at all) I end up getting put in the Friend Zone & she ends up fucking my mates. I'v been told by chicks many many times that I'm too nice of a bloke & they dont wana hurt me. So I pretty much gave up trying a few years ago & now to anxious/nervous/shy to even approach a chick I dont already know. It's like I have no self confidence & dont know wat to do anymore.
I treat all women with respect (to much respect I'm told) & get friend zoned but when I treat them any other way they get offended & then I'm the fuckwit. I can't seem to bloody win either way I go. Anybody got any pointers for me on how to pick up a decent chick? I'v never had any female contact me using dating sites either so I don't know why I still bother using the sites. I'm 38yrs old, never been married or had kids & i'v been single for the last 5yrs or so & it's starting to get really boring & lonely these days. All's I want is a good faithful chick who will stick by my side thru thick & thin while we start our own little family together before life just passes us away & before we get to old. Can anybody help a bloke out? Not sure how anybody can help with this issue but I have to ask because I'm not sure what else to do 😎

Comments

  • teamaj2

    teamaj2

    3 years ago

    Firstly , I’m sorry you feel at a loss and have given up hope .
    Try not to take offence by advice. You asked and people will be blunt .
    Most people find confidence attractive ( not arrogance ) . Negativity isn’t attractive , it seems needy and a lot of women will run. I understand it is hard for you to feel confident with the knock backs and your track record. Confidence, begins with liking yourself , being comfortable in your own skin and with your life.
    I know I’ve suggested this previously on the forums but I am a believer in a good psychologist. There is mental health plans available to assist financially via Medicare . Finding a good psychologist is like finding a best friend . Someone who is on your team , giving you tools to hold your head high and be the best you, that you can be .
    I personally think until you are the best you , or close enough, finding your ‘the one ‘ isn’t going to be successful . Finding that special someone does not miraculously make life and you a better person , we have to work on ourselves .
    I think it’s important to just be you without focusing on being a ‘good guy’ or a ‘bad boy ‘. Be authentic, honest, not what you think every girl wants . We all seek something different .
    Hoping my advice is constructive not harsh .
    I wish you good luck in finding the happiness you so desperately seek . A

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    Hmmmm tough one. But will say this:
    a) You won't have much luck on here as a single guy that isn't a paid member;
    b) You won't have much luck on here without any pics visible; and
    c) "Gagformebaby36" and "All's I want is a good faithful chick who will stick by my side thru thick & thin while we start our own little family..." is a bit of a contradiction.

    Don't change. Don't be a dick. Just be you. And be patient. Good luck.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    Confidence is about being okay with walking through life on your own.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    They say good things come to those who wait...Maybe there’s something you need to learn before “the one” comes along.

  • funtimescouple1

    funtimescouple1

    3 years ago

    Don't try too hard. Just be yourself with women and try to be as confident as you can, but most importantly play hard to get. I had the same problem as you in my younger years.

  • Libertine001

    Libertine001

    3 years ago

    Possibly your profile handle might be a start..
    Just an observation

    Libertine

  • nightingale8

    nightingale8

    3 years ago

    My take is that the women have picked up on your insecurities and gone “too much work, not enough stable and sexual”. At least that’s what goes on in my mind when I have put others in the friend zone. Can’t speak for others. “Too respectful” means you don’t know how to respectfully take the lead. And by “taking the lead” that doesn’t mean taking that gamble and asking them to gag for you halfway through a coffee catchup.

    Step one head up, shoulders back, look them in the eyes and give them a warm smile. Eye contact and body language is almost everything. I’m of the opinion the woman always makes the first move, only it’s as subtle as a sideways glance. Your job is to swoop in decisively and pay them a non-obvious compliment and casually invite them out. Ask questions, listen, be interested but don’t change yourself to suit. If you’re not poly don’t say it. If you want fidelity from someone don’t say you’re open to being part of an affair. Incongruence is a turn off and quick redirection to the friend zone.

  • FeistyFatty

    FeistyFatty

    3 years ago

    Maybe they're gagging in a different way for you (referring to your Username)🤷‍♀️😋

  • InTimMate

    InTimMate

    3 years ago

    When I was early 20's, I was too dependent on having a GF. After a breakup, I "chose" to go solo for a few years. During that time I traveled, learned to be a better friend to my friends, became less dependent on people for my self-esteem, learned to fly, studied and took up a new profession, generally did things that made me whole. Focusing on those things eventually made me ready for when love came along. It wasn't the goal, but it helped a lot.

    Maybe working on you first, is a better strategy.
    Don't wait for someone else to come along and make you whole.
    Just my 2cents worth.

  • Ex007

    Ex007

    2 years ago

    I suggest 2 books for you both are available as audio books.

    The first is
    “How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self”
    Book by Nicole LePera

    The second is
    “The Evolution of Desire”
    By David Buss

    If you would like to chat further regarding your current situation your welcome to message me.

  • Obi1kenietzsche

    Obi1kenietzsche

    2 years ago

    Hmmm... Get new friends?
    Obi1.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 years ago

    Without even glancing at your profile, your username is a turnoff. From my perspective, it stinks of someone who has little to no respect for the woman and is really only after a vagina to fulfill their dirty fantasies.

    Hard not to be salty when it seems so blatantly obvious, but try being a nice guy without doing it for gain. You don’t get rewards for being a decent human being but you will exponentially expand your chances of finding a mate by being one.

  • Experienced_Dom

    Experienced_Dom

    2 years ago

    Jesus bro!!... you can start by changing your profile name! Yikes

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 years ago

    ok, my 2 cents for what its worth
    1 - change profile name if you want to meet someone on this site - sounds very needy
    which leads me to
    2 - Women don't like needy guys!
    Needy guys ooze Eau' de Desperation' and women can sniff that shit a mile out - thats why you get friend zoned.
    Ever notice some guys seem to get all the attention and ladies? Yes some of them are good looking, but often times it is because they ooze confidence.
    Women love confident guys - thats why they are attracted to bad boys. Has nothing to do with the fact they are bad, has everything to do with the fact that they are confident.
    I went through a breakup 25 years ago and decided i had enough of women for a while. Didnt even want to date them, just needed time to find myself again. In that 12 months i had so many offers it was uncanny. Once they find out that you are unavailable and not interested, it becomes a challenge to them.
    Now im nothing special to look at, got a head like a smashed crab - but in those 12 months i went on a massive growth stage to not only find myself, but also to try and become the best person i could, become a great man.
    Yes i still went out with friends who were women and i just treated them the same as i treated my male mates.
    within 6 months i had met a woman who would later become my wife.
    Set yourself a goal to not even seek any women for 6 months and work on yourself
    learn to communicate with women without them thinking you want to shag them
    This will build your confidence around them and in yourself

  • cat_n_the_hatter

    cat_n_the_hatter

    2 years ago

    There are some good advices here. However, none of us know you. You have not said much about yourself.

    First, I hate the term men often use when thinking about their relationships with women – friendzoned, as if a friendship with a woman is a humiliating thing. It may actually be a good start for a long-term relationship.
    Many men complain about women's entitlement attitudes but for me there is no bigger entitlement than to think that just because you are kind you deserve sex. I am kind to my friends and people in general and do not expect sex from them.
    Some men may believe that they are owed anything from women - be it love, sex, kindness, time, hug, or a single lousy text message. Yes, there are some women with entitlement issues, too.

    My advice would be to change your attitude towards women but then it depends on what kind of women you wish to be with? "a nice chick" perhaps? How old were those women you mention? What they do in life? What they had in common with you?

    Nothing is deserved which is not earned. What have you achieved in life? Your interest? Passion? Independence? Independence is of great value because it is developed through self-struggles. This and life experiences give confidence. Enjoy your independence and be positive about life. Learn new things.
    A good psychologist can help because she (better if it is her) will know you better if you open, we here, on the other hand, are strangers who speculate on limited information you gave. (Ms)

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    2 years ago

    Uhmmmmm I’m not one of em I return whatever energy is given to me

  • itsamystery123

    itsamystery123

    2 years ago

    Find and read a book called No More Mr Nice guy by Dr Robert Glover. I think it will be a very enlightening book for you.. As many have said, work on yourself, build your own life up so that it's fantastic. Women are not the goal. Relationships are not the prize. You are. If you don't feel like one yet, then do the work until you do. Get good at something (hobbies), work out, eat well, practice good grooming, i've seen psychologists suggested (very big yes), essentially do all that you can and develop daily habits that build yourself up somehow, whether physically, emotionally or generally. Don't do anything purely for the purpose of 'getting a girl'. They're the cream on an already fucking excellent cake.