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Hotel California

Hotel California

    | Dec 06, 2019
Seachange   Woman 46yrs
So I have been absent from the Forums for a while for good reason.

I just came back from working overseas and really found that visiting the forum was less a priority and more of a distraction.

Looking at the number of new threads lately, I don't think I've missed much.

Did I miss the forum? Not really. It got to a point this year.that I had forum fatigue - petty squabbles over petty things. Then there are the same old, same old topics such as 'why can't I get a lay? I'm keen and blah blah blah'.

Ut wasn't doing ot for me anymore. So it was time the leave and mine more interesting cerebral shores.

But I'm back. Not sure why...

Maybe I'm just curious to find out if there's anything else new U csn learn from you lot, or

Curious on what is going on in my friends' lives (and loves) or

Like family, I can't shake you sorry lot anymore out of my system if I tried 😛 or

I'm just a sucker to watch in the sidelines some occasional mindless whining and bickering in the Forum fight club.

I'll leave again after I get sick and tired of some morons here ruining my experiences but I always come back for my RHP friends and family who have accepted me into the fold. I'm not good at maintaining communication, actually I'm terribly slack. However, most know how I feel about them and I try my best to send my warm thoughts via my Jedi communication powers.😎

Sooo....

What keeps you in the Forum and have you left and come back? Why?

communicationforumsfriends
Dec 06, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Dragon_Phoenix  

Couple Man 40yrs Woman 37yrs

What keeps me here?? Lol Prozac mostly 😂😂

Nah...I enjoy contributing even if I’m the only one that enjoys my contributions 😂😂. But overall it’s not a bad place, and I’ve left before because my ego was bruised, I’ve left before because I was just tired, or I just wanted a break from it...sometimes it feels as though there’s a level of expectation to only discuss sexual topics and I reckon too much of any one thing gets boring, even sex.

I enjoy the social networking here as I’ve had some good conversations evolve into friendships, some have resulted in sexual experiences, others have just been a spotlight on my flaws....

Mr dragon
Dec 06, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
bonefide   Man 56yrs

Curiosity

And the recipes, along with the fashion hints that are occasionally spoke about at the beer garden after the sun go’s down. :)
Dec 06, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
moan_a_lisa   Woman 50yrs

Probably same as you and jack of repetitious messages.
However missed reading the forums over morning coffee.

So template replies in use and just enjoying a chat with old friends.
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peasandcarrots  

Couple Man 39yrs Woman 38yrs

Just like any addictoon

When youre off it, you can't work out why you let it consume so much of your life, but somehow, bit by bit, it drags you back in and before you know it, you're hooked again, and can't work out why you ever went away, and the circle repeats
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deepestpurple   Man 37yrs

Newbie bashing and over moderation




We aren't particularly welcoming to newbies at times. Moderation keeps things sterile these days. Where's the interesting discussion coming from? The climate change thread was a breath of fresh air that shows we can do it.

You come back because you miss me ;)

Name and shame the morons, that will be an interesting thread
Dec 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
EarthQueen   Woman 48yrs

Curiosity and its funny.

Basically I'm inquisitive (*nosy) and I'm interested in how other people see things.

But agree with DP. Over moderation has killed some of the fun factor. Shame. It kills many discussions.
Some of the best forum topics occurred when the moderation didn't take the wrap us up in cotton wool approach.

Morons will out themselves, which is often entertaining. There are also some pretty funny people on here, with some excellent wit and observations. When you put them and the morons together, it's comedy gold.

I also like Reddit but RHP has a different demographic that I enjoy.



Dec 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
SpicyKale   Couple Man 45yrs Woman 39yrs

Moderation is an interesting topic

If I was going to take a guess, they're worried about potential litigation. If my memory is correct News corp we're successfully prosecuted for a forum members defamatory post a while ago. While different laws apply to news services, Christian Porter is floating changes to the defamation law to include tech companies.

If someone is going to call themselves out as a complete tool on here, I'd personally prefer to see the post stay up to help others decide if they want anything to do with them. So many of those posts get pulled, but amusing ready while they're up😊

While most of the posts are sex related, you really start to see a bit of depth and thought come out in some. We tend to forget at times that people are coming here for different reasons. Posters complete lack of sexual health knowledge absolutely baffles me at times, is hard not to come over as a lecturing parent!

Not that I believe in New Years resolutions, but more non sex topics in 2020!
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SpicyKale   Couple Man 45yrs Woman 39yrs

*reading
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Salubrious1  

Man 52yrs

deepest purple

open up the link for hot topics, then off topic . It's still going and with the main contributors showing respect in my opinion .
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Seachange   Woman 46yrs

So deepest purple

What keeps you in the Forum?



Dec 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Seachange   Woman 46yrs

Agree

One of the reason for my leaving is the over monitoring and censureship of forum topics and posts. The sterilization of the Forum is definitely a turn off.

I do understand some prohibition of posts when over zealous members overstep the line but outright closure and deletions of topics prohibits the forum from being a fertile bed of learning on topics of sex and beyond, as it used to be. 😞

And we're left with mundane topics.

I'm still glad to see the regulars keeping the forum alive with their pearls of wisdom and edgy wit.
Dec 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
AnnieWhichway   TV/CD 55yrs

.

I have left once but only when l was reported by another long term member here for something that l didn't do but ended up battling the mods to clear my name and getting my instant posting back. Principals are worth coming back for.



I have taken a few breaks though. I've thought about the addiction of being here. But l have many friends through here, it is my village. As far as addictions go, it doesn't hurt my health but probably has improved my mental health over the years. l learn shit, l can pass on what l have learnt from my experiences and gives me entertainment from the bigots and homophobes. Many more positives than negatives, so here l stay.

Someone needs to highlight the issues facing trans and cd/tv community so I'll push that wheelbarrow as well if required
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deepestpurple   Man 37yrs

A tenuous thread




Quoting 'Seachange'

What keeps you in the Forum?



Not much these days, my journey here is mostly complete and I don't have the same kind of free time to kill as I have in the past.

I try to give back somewhat by supporting new guys to the nuthouse. As much as most of them don't want to admit it, its an emotionally brutal initiation. And I emphasize with new guys, typically just gone through a divorce or breakup, trying to navigate their way back into sex and dating. It can seem hopeless at first but can also be very rewarding if you can get through that. Single guys tend to be treated like second class citizens and I'm aware there's reasons for that and women and couples certainly face their challenges too. I've lived it from that perspective so I try to help with what I have experience with.

I'm not going to lie, there's a few characters here I would miss if they were not in my life at all but I find myself coming here less and less. Most topics I try start don't get approved and often I have no idea why.
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deepestpurple   Man 37yrs

Yes indeed




Quoting 'Salubrious1'

open up the link for hot topics, then off topic . It's still going and with the main contributors showing respect in my opinion .
I agree and it really was unusual for this board for such a controversial issue to be discussed without it turning into a shitfight that gets moderated out of existence. Much respect to all involved, including yourself.

I stayed out of it as other people were articulating my point of view better than I expect I could have.
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SpicyKale   Couple Man 45yrs Woman 39yrs

DP, likewise on that thread! We've got very strong views on the topic, but could see it turning into a shit fest. Very glad it didn't, but keeping clear probably helped the mental health 😊

Likewise Annie, we try and stick up for the LGBT community. Hopefully calling out the bigots helps others realise what's appropriate in 2019. I don't have time to spend in the community away from here, so posting is my little bit.

We like to think we're even handed with the single guys, although they do bring it on themselves at times. Go easy on the new ones, the marketing tells them it's a sex fest! The repeat offenders with "those" profiles.... 😐

Unfortunately I think only a very small percentage of the people on here actually read the forums. I wonder how the community engages with the rest?

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PeachyPearL   Woman 56yrs

Good morning Annie

Quoting 'AnnieWhichway'

I have left once but only when l was reported by another long term member here for something that l didn't do but ended up battling the mods to clear my name and getting my instant posting back. Principals are worth coming back for.
That's an interesting version of events in what was actually a complicated time in the forum. After years of shit fights over nothing in the forum the mods were trying something new in the way of moderation, and had blocked a cpl of long time posters from posting on particular threads in an attempt to achieve their goal. They'd also come down on your Nothing (I use the word to differentiate from the Anything threads that had come before) threads with a few being closed down or closed in a very short period of time. I had nothing to do with that though I'm sure you suspected me of that. It was, around that time, that it was announced that Anything/Nothing threads would not be allowed because of the way they kept ending up. Even Freya's very old Anything ended up being locked or deleted around that time. It's a curious coincidence that the Anything threads were started to get around moderation, lol. A few other threads of similar types were started after that but most didn't last long. The moderation blues is not at all new! It's been going on since day dot.

Now, where were you? Ah yes. You did 'do it' so to speak, it was the views of the different mods that made the difference and reinstating your profile was the right thing to do in my opinion as I have told you before. All I did was report the comment as did SEVERAL other people as the message I got in reply stated which I have also told you before. Not everyone is as open as me, hey. You know I reported because I announced it to the world.
Mind you, you'd already started your current male profile in the meantime and weren't missing RHP at all. 😂
I'd already planned, as I've also already told you before, to contact RHP mods myself to speak on your behalf because in my mind I reported a comment that blew my mind when I read it, and it wasn't you as a person I had a problem with. I hope all that clears that up for you some. Because I do see your comments about that quite regularly...

Principles are well worth fighting for, but differing principles doesn't make one or the other right or wrong.

About me and why I'm here? Because I've asked myself many times, I can tell you. I am one of the longest running, most frequent posters, that's for sure. Part of it is the simple fact that it's my life and entirely up to me what I do and I'm not giving anyone the power to think that I left because of them. I choose to believe in myself and it being ok to change what I haven't found worked for me while accepting that it is working or has worked for me to the best of my abilities. I'm in a better place emotionally these days and getting more positive messages about myself than I have had here in the main and that makes me feel less vulnerable too, so much so, I haven't felt a need to report much of anything for months now. I thank the friends who've stood by me and haven't bought into the anxiety I suffer from. Currently, I'm applying for National Redress and my counselor is the best I've ever had the pleasure to work with. She straight off explained to me that RHP is like a family to me. Whoda thunk huh?

Part of the problem in the forum in my opinion is the never ending grudges, and I have been as guilty of that as anyone else, the misunderstanding where assumptions are made based on incorrect facts, and the constant complaining by posters (as on this thread) about not being able to get things their own way. Let's not forget the gaslighting!

An example of my times in the forum for me is that it was only the other day I objected to a judgemental post aimed at people who'd posted a similar opinion as mine on the thread. Then I get jumped on for objecting to that, lol. I decided later to retract part of what I'd said because I saw an argument elsewhere that convinced me to have a change of heart. We can't force people to think like us and insulting them because they don't think like us isn't going to win them over either. I'm not tryng to win anyone over here. :-D

Gotta watch out for trolls and catfish too, this is the perfect breeding ground where there is no identifying yourself or legal need to be accurate with your profile/s.

Cheers, Peachy
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PeachyPearL   Woman 56yrs

See




Quoting 'deepestpurple'
We aren't particularly welcoming to newbies at times. Moderation keeps things sterile these days. Where's the interesting discussion coming from? The climate change thread was a breath of fresh air that shows we can do it.

You come back because you miss me ;)

Name and shame the morons, that will be an interesting thread

This is a different perspective of that thread than I had. If I had chosen to stay and fight for my right to have an opinion that didn't agree with one poster who decided they were special enough to post a blanket comment condemning those of us with a similar opinion to mine...
As well as follow up comments that said I need to be educated and know what I'm talking about to have the right to have an opinion...
Or the comment that questioned that I was threatened by intelligent women...
It could well have gone down, and I would have been the one blamed rather than the mob that descended, lol.

But I don't see that it makes sense to argue here any more when people's minds are obviously made up and I don't get to have the right to judge them as a person just because we disagree. Peachy
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PeachyPearL   Woman 56yrs

Interestingly

I've joined a movement recently that is softening the hard edges I've developed here. It's relief to finally find something that seems to actually be what it portrays after all my disappointments over these last few years as I've been gradually disillusioned by do gooders are just doing it for themselves in reality. Some of the loveliest seeming people are the worst offenders. Not that there aren't fakers and liars there too but they are not the definition of the movement just a symptom of the possibility that might occur within a movement like this one. Peachy, happy days
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AnnieWhichway   TV/CD 55yrs

Yeah Peachy

Your view, rose colored glasses.

Funny how they taint the vision.

How's the catfish hunter going anyway?

Definition of forum chaos?

Peachy going catfish hunting....



Lol. She's still here......
Dec 07, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
ChasingMidnight   Man 56yrs

When I've little to do....

...nor anyone to do it to, then it's time to rethink my strategies.

Incremental inspiration and deviant desperation.

What more could you ask for?

ʗɱ

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