FwB .. myth or legendary

September 07 2019

Really would like your thoughts here, when I was younger I had a great mutual beneficial FWB for years. Alas he moved on and we respectfully went our own ways.
I would really like to find a similar situation but I don’t think guys are honestly taking my genuine word. I don’t want to trap you into a relationship of any dynamic. Respectfully, we meet up for drinks and/or dinner followed but great climaxes or purely the quick shag when calling for it... is there such a thing anymore these days??? Xx

- Posted from rhpmobile

Comments

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  • nevahadsomuchfun

    nevahadsomuchfun

    4 years ago

    Well I bloody well hope so... is hard to keep feelings out of it tho which I’ve seen happen. Long live FWB!!

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I have an ongoing fwb situation with someone I met 4 years ago. But....things have changed since I joined way back then. Guys SAY they are looking for fwb but are looking for a hook up. There are the good ones out there but not as many as there used to be

  • emmy128

    emmy128

    4 years ago

    I agree koko for sure not like I use to be!
    Haha hadsomuch fun screw feelings, men may be confusing my eagerness for sexual chemistry with “emotions” I’m purely after a great conversation/personality that relates to better sexual pleasure haha. Screw emotions

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Emmy,
    There is such thing as FWBs, absolutely! Sometimes it begins with the benefits, then you become friends... personally I have experienced more of the opposite: becomings friends and then evolving some "benefits" throughout the relationship. That's probably because after getting to know the person, it is easier to tell if they walk their talk or if they have hidden agendas. Maybe a drink would be a good start, indeed. 😉

  • D_Light

    D_Light

    4 years ago

    I don't just wantto hook up!
    Never have because i'm a sensual intimate passionate lover that wishes to express that with someone and its always a gradual continuous improvement program with any lover, in my case now comfortably say of either gender.
    if u just want a fuck then stick to the mass's on here, it is a disadvantage on here I must admit, but those who sift through the rest eventually end up with the best...….
    no demand on my schedule enables my freedom to be honest and happy for me and others will benefit from its happening.
    commit to a FWB for only the time they enable you into theirs lives, not the other way round..... before each time ends together openly discuss this times adventure and offer ea other Suggestions on new adventure's and improvements and once signed off on details, …… back to focusing on you until then....
    this is what I've recently learnt with the aid and wisdom of professional therapy. it's where I've failed all my life.
    I now care for D, but know that the love for those special people that come n go in your life is and always will be there whenever they seek it, but that's where it ends as you have more important things to care about than them, YOU

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I've had an FWB or NSA arrangement with a guy, 8 years my jnr, for the last 8 years.

    He works long and hard and very time poor but we manage to meet when convenient

    Maybe 10 -15 times a year and also share the odd long weekend, once in a while.

    No hassles or drama and think this sort of arrangement would suit a lot of people..

    So yes, Ppl need to be upfront, truthful and make the most of a great respectful

    Friendship..

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I don't believe there are men on here who want to be dating, unless they're looking for a relationship. What is the point? If you're going out on dates regularly and having sex, then isn't that a relationship, the very thing most don't want? Including myself btw at least a traditional one. And if sex isn't involved, then it's a friendship. I also think it's selfish. You hear people say they had an fwb for years until it ended when the other person went into a proper relationship. Quite honestly that would make me feel like crap if I was cast aside for someone else after all that time. Sorry to those who enjoy these kind of connections but I just don't think it's healthy for our state of mind, in the long term.


    One more thing, I believe it can be shaky ground, that most times one or the other will develop stronger feelings and want more, leading to heartbreak

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    A FWB is exactly what I am looking for. I'm married (here with permission) and I'd love to meet somebody I click with, who I can meet a few times a year for out there unbridled sex. So here's hoping the FWB is not a myth

  • Mask_007

    Mask_007

    4 years ago

    Hi emmy.

    I can say to you with great certainty that yes, maybe a bit hard to find the righr person for your needs, but still very much around.

    I just got out of one becouse she got married, we fwb for the last 6y. I am looking forward to meet someone new now and start a new friendship.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I have to agree to with Lol Koko. Some many times I've clearly stated I'm looking for a FWB situation they say they are too but you don't hear from the unless the want a quickie. I think I've finally found a decent FWB but it's not easy.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    4 years ago

    I believe putting any labels like FWB, FB just adds more pressure to any relationships and removes that other persons choice before you've actually met them. Yes there are guys out there that do want to spend quality time with women, beside just meaningless rooting or one offs. Emotionally available men want and are to attracted to intellect, stimulating conversations. We attract what we put out thats why I have on my profile "I do understand that 'no strings attached' and "looking for fun", means meaningless sex, uncaring and lacks substance and courtesy."

    Remembering tho, not everyone on here wants what you are exactly wanting and looking for.

    Ms Foxy

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    4 years ago

    I too met someone about 5yrs ago, shagged on the first night cause at that time that's all we were looking for. Till this day we are still lovers, have travelled together and he has even met my family. Things do change over time. I believe open honest communication is the key minus the head fuck games. Cause that is what ruins any relationship and turns them off.

    Ms Foxy

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Seems we all have different perceptions here. For me, a FWB is a friend as well as lover. But at the end of the day its not serious as none of you want a relationship for whatever reason. I have always cared for mine to a degree. I love hanging out but when we are apart Im not thinking longingly about them.

  • emmy128

    emmy128

    4 years ago

    I value all the input here, I understand it’s not for everyone but I personally prefer that dynamic as I’ve built a connection and sexually the chemistry just works better. I have to agree with koko, (again) it’s a friend whom is beneficial. I don’t linger for him or worry. I enjoy the company, time and effort both parties contribute to such a friendship. But we both have our own lifestyle going on. This way I avoid the meaningless unfulfilled one night shags with complete strangers. I’m just at a time in my life I’m not looking for a complete relationship with one person. That’s to say my priorities won’t change, nor am I a closed book to the idea It’s a tricky one because you hundred percent have to be worried about emotional feelings and your partner also catching them. But key is communicating if feelings do change, either positive or negative feelings, hence the ex FwB I had ended respectfully. I’ll remain optimistic that I will find such a relationship again hehe

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Quoting 'Kokoflamingo'



    Seems we all have different perceptions here. For me, a FWB is a friend as well as lover. But at the end of the day its not serious as none of you want a relationship for whatever reason. I have always cared for mine to a degree. I love hanging out but when we are apart Im not thinking longingly about them.

    I agree, for me a FWB is a FRIEND. You talk to friends, visit friends, ring friends, help friends if they are down....But in this case, you also sleep with each other on occasion. There are emotions involved in these situations.

    NSA to me means just that, no emotional involvement, just sex.

  • boxestotick

    boxestotick

    4 years ago

    Would love a FWB. Mr Boxestotick works shift work hence has days alone. Would love to find someone to spend some time with. This is for fun only as primary relationship is more important than fun on the side. Simply coffe, some great conversation and a little play time. Mrs Boxes is aware and ok with it.

  • Samnite

    Samnite

    4 years ago

    I believe it exists and I have had that in the past and I am definitely interested in FWB.
    Unfortunately I think most men do see someone use the FWB label and immediately think "hook-up". Also, it is certainly possible that neither party wants meaningless sex but the sexual chemistry sometimes isn't there despite there being attraction and a willingness to have an on-going arrangement. So it ends up being a hook-up.

  • Mask_007

    Mask_007

    4 years ago

    Emmy, i do live in Melbourne, but would definitely be interested in listening from you as a friend.

    I do travel quite often to Sydney and Canberra. Would be really nice to have a familiar face to catch up, have a meal/ drink together and a good conversation.

    And if you come to Melbourne, please hit me up.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    4 years ago

    I do believe feelings of caring are going to be involved and grow over time, when having shared experiences with a person/people. I can never understand when people say they don't want emotions involved. Might has well just lay there like a dead star fish and not talk like a stunned mullet. How meaningless and unemotional is that. I would get bored rather quickly. If you enjoy each others company and all parties are happy, there's no need to be concerned about detachment or attached emotions. If a person says "They does not want a committed coupled relationship", then they dont want one.

    Ms Foxy

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    4 years ago

    Agree with most posts here.

    As Foxy said, why do we have to define with lables? Ive had a lover/friend for the past 6 years, we dont define us. Sometimes we are both in relationships, yet will still talk daily with partner knowlege. I have another friend and we get it on now and again, known him 8 years and never defined it. Have a few others too but they are friends, I do booty calls.

    I think "FWB" works if you dont define anything and just see what happens, if feels develop then reevaluate.

    .... and yeah there are dudes who just perhaps want a ONS, but maybe they were just not into you too. I know I have stated FWB in the past and ended up just ONS or a TwoNS and I go off them. I'm allowed to too. Doesn't mean Im a player, just means I know what I want amd that's ok..

    My 2c. Ta 🌻

  • Mask_007

    Mask_007

    4 years ago

    SuperFoxy.

    I do partially agree with you. I don't see the problem in getting emotionally involved when in a FWB tipe of relationship. In the same way, I can't live full time together with anyone. Then by that i don't commit in relationships.
    I have been living on my own for a way to long, and must say absolutely suit my lifestyle with perfection been in a FWB tipe of arrangement.

    Other people can get really deep attached, and I can definitely understand that. Like some have stated hear you have to be true about your own feelings.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    4 years ago

    Freedom. I believe giving each others the freedom and space in any relationship is very healthy. It is the kindest act of caring and happiness. I also believe those who are “commitment phobias” are often emotionally unavailable and are often unwilling to accept or surrender freedom, because some believe they will feel trapped and restrained. It's normally out of fear. Freedom requires mutual acceptance. Yes, one has to be true to themselves, take ownership and be accountable of their own feelings and actions before asnyone else.

    Ms Foxy

  • Sleepercell2014

    Sleepercell2014

    4 years ago

    The moniker of FWB can vary in different shades depending upon the people involved; when I was in my had multiple FWBs - simultaneously with absolutely no drama ever.

    The paramaters need to be established up front; with a stipulation acknowledging that if anyone wants a change in any aspect of the dynamics- it needs to be specifically addressed & no assumption that the other party ‘gave a hint’ or ‘it just seemed to...’

    All the while that I had 6 ‘friends’, there was NEVER an issue; we could hang out, talk about whatever came up - an when the other person was otherwise engaged or busy, they just wee not available; no explanation needed.

    And if ever asked about who I was... I was just a friend. No jealousy or labels or dramas.

    So it is possible- just keep your spidey senses in tune to somebody changing their tune

    Live & let live...

  • Mask_007

    Mask_007

    4 years ago

    Very good point Ms Foxy.

    I guet what do you mean. And do agree with you and in saying that to every rule is a exception that confirm the rule.
    And possibly we should take that in consideration and see if maybe not everyone not wanting a commitment have a fobia.

    But you definitely make some extremely valid point.

  • emmy128

    emmy128

    4 years ago

    Very true ms foxxy, however I know I don’t have a phobia it’s just a personal preference that works for me 🙂 hence why my fwb dynamic lasted for 10 years, for me it was a great environment but we knew specifically were the other party stood. I was never second guessing if I happened to find myself talking/intimate to other men. Great to hear other people’s ideas I haven’t lost faith yet my next friendship is out there.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    It can work, I’m still in contact with one because we’re friends.

    It’s as hard to find as a full on relationship though.

    It seems though a lot of people are less than honest with either others or themselves about it.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I also am finding it hard to find a simple fwb for ongoing fun, but am beginning to understand that the ratio of men to woman on this site is not suited for a guy, well that’s all I have to say so stay happy and place nice everyone.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    There is nothing better then FWB, being able to have a connection that you can do what you have to do and not get too caught up.

    Unfortunately too many people read signs wrong and catch feelings beyond what is meant to be. Which os fine if it goes both ways.

    I agree 100% that finding a FWB is hard work these days.

  • Mask_007

    Mask_007

    4 years ago

    Emmy.

    I could not agree with you more. Is a tipe of agreement by choice, and is not a issue because you know where you stand.
    I am sure will happen again.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I have two fwb’s and the honesty and communication we have allows us to know what we want and need.
    Most of all the friendship takes priority over the sex and I find we spend more time chilling and doing things which allows for greater understanding and awesome sex.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    But from what I hear most guys stuff it up by getting too clingy 😛

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    4 years ago

    good you haven't lost faith. Good men are out there. I know, as I have met them.

    Ms Foxy

  • curious_72

    curious_72

    4 years ago

    I am going to put my two cents worth in here..I tried to find someone and as soon as I specified I would like someone to have dinner with and a drink and not just be a hook up nobody wanted to talk to me.It's all about them collecting notches in their bedpost.I went stuff it and now am just not interested.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    4 years ago

    Its because they have something to hide and are embarressed to be seen in public with another woman having a drink etc.

    That would make a good forum topic.

    Ms Foxy

  • needadude

    needadude

    4 years ago

    I’ve been seeing somebody since 2011 and we would meet the definition of friends with benefits. Some might call us serial booty calls but I think over the course of 8yrs we have somewhat become friends. We care for each other as friends would and we just happen to have sex. Great sex. We make the most of our time together but have too many forces in our respective lives pulling us in opposite directions.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    And maybe some guys are sick of women collecting free dinners, I know this will just come across as me picking on women again but it happens, a lot, more particularly in vanilla world.

    Friends girlfriend was telling the story about work colleagues who hit POF every day for lunch dates.

    Perhaps be a bit more careful with the wording so it doesn’t come across as taking advantage. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the “ so what did you get out of him “ question. Too many.

    And yes I know men do bad shit. People can be quite revolting to each other and we all have to look out for ourselves as best we can.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Just maybe your looking in the wrong criteria
    If you ( not you in particular of course but generally) looked past the initial profile pic and have a chat to find out what the guy or girl like
    Had a girl 20 years my junior give me a. Chance to say hi and chat , met her on Monday it went very well
    I find you don’t get a lot of replies but the ones that do always seem to be a bit surprised with the genuine side of me
    If you’re chasing something out of a penthouse magazine forum I think your going to struggle

  • BeachMaster

    BeachMaster

    4 years ago

    I also enjoy no strings attached fun , uncomplicated sex passing the time together is a lot of enjoyment .

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Free dinners? Anyone Ive met for lunch or dinner, Ive always paid my way ( unless they absolutely insist, and then Ill buy drinks). Ive never met a guy with the intentions of anything free. Unlike most men, who seek a free root on here.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Good on you, as it should be, proper fair.As for roots, they should be free shouldn't they ? Or have I got that wrong ?
    Beware guys who insist on paying, they are trying to get you into debt, but you obviously know that.

  • Georgie1987

    Georgie1987

    4 years ago

    It goes both ways, but like any kind of relationship, takes two of similar people and personalities. Physical attraction is one thing as well as the perception of beauty and what’s has been brainwashed by society in each of us, but another different world is to find a personality match. The odds of finding your personality match are remote, the odds of finding your personality match and a physical initial attraction are ever worse. Because is a superficial act (sex), or at least what we been told to, we tend to care about bodies and physical appearance first and filtering that way into finding the personality match, but the personality match is usually what makes he relationship last even after the physical body becomes something we got used to it, the surprise ends. My opinion is, don’t filter too much for physical attraction and try to develop a mental connection better even if is just a sexual one, because you can shape that connection into great sex, but looking at physical connection and filtering that way works lot better for a one night stand.

  • Heythere55555

    Heythere55555

    4 years ago

    Well hit me up for a chat sometime 😜

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    A Myth. Like others have said. They say they want a fwb but just want a hook up. I have a rule of meeting for a coffee on the first meet. Just to see if there is a connection because surely people wanting a fwb wants a connection, right? It's amazing how many stop messaging after they hear that it's a coffee meet first.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I’ve been in a FWB friendship/relationship for almost 2yrs with a bloke I have great respect for but no feelings. Yes, I’m attracted to him but it’s purely for gratification when we both need it. We talk and stay in contact as friends but when the itch needs to be scratched, it gets scratched and then the friendship continues. So yeah, it’s completely possible but you gotta pick the right person!

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Ive had a fwb for over 5 years we have dinner drink a red or 2 and sleep together for the nite
    no pressure one or twice a week
    When im traveling around Australia in my motorhome im away for 9 months last time
    When i return we continue the fwb
    We both have own lives
    Its the perfect setup and i don't understand why people want 24/7
    There are still some of us out there and available

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Have had a few over the years , some couples , but not met from here and Kal is very transient so people come and go

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    If the benefits end, does the friendship also end? I tend to think it's semantics. It's a casual relationship. I understand people are saying they have had them. Most seem to have ended for one reason or another. Our friends tend to be around a little longer. Perhaps I am splitting hairs, but if you are going on dates regularly, and having sex, it's a relationship. I think this was mentioned already by I_touch (I think? ).

    Ultimately, good communication between people involved will usually prevent someone being hurt. They can call it what they like 🙂

  • theTroubador

    theTroubador

    4 years ago

    Real, confirmed and - the best!

    Had a 4yr FWB that ended when she started seeing someone she had feelings for. She was time poor and we both enjoyed the openness and honesty without the pressure of an ongoing relationship - not to mention the sexual compatibility!

    The FWB is amazing - you get to know every little thing that gets them (and you) off and explore new things. IMO it's beat in situations where you agree there's no emotional link or a barrier to dating, but you stiĺl can't resist each other.

    I disagree that men always go for ONS - or that they should, at least. If it's good sex and we get along, I'm absolutely going back for more.

    Hard to find that again... but I'm searching.

  • badboyhere

    badboyhere

    4 years ago

    I would love this. None of the ladies here have mentioned this in this thread, but is it about looking for a fwb that is not attached?
    I think this is why your struggling.
    I think it is also why I cannot find a fwb but my struggle is in the complete opposite spectrum to yours.
    Mine is because I am married (and I am here with my wife’s knowledge and approval), however, even though I want a fwb I might as well be a leper. Disrespected and regarded as a liar and a cheat when the facts are the complete opposite,
    Married men looking for a fwb are most probably the biggest member status group on RHP.
    I feel the reason why you might not be able to find a serious fwb is because you might be looking for a single guy with no attachments that is happy to go out on dates as well as sharing some fun bedroom fun.

    That group most probably will be rare to find.

    I hope you find what you are looking for.

  • hotsince78

    hotsince78

    4 years ago

    I think the issue is that people's definition of a FWB varies - and sometimes a great deal.

    My idea of it is to catch up once a week, or fortnight even and when we get together, not just a shag but to have dinner, or a movie or walk on the beach.

    I have met some women that are on the same page - and therefore it works. However, I have met others who say they want FWB but to my mind they are actually looking for a 'normal' relationship - so want to catch up a lot more often and then want to MSG back and forth every day....and getting upset when you don't comply!! Possibly resulting in a prized pet ending up in the hotpot....,😱

    I find being very clear (and honest ) from the offset usually mitigates against issues happening - but not always!!

    On the plus side - when you do find an FWB that is very much on the same page, it can be great 🙌😈

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    4 years ago

    I don't agree that fwb comes with any rule of exclusivity. I think the opposite applies. None of the fwb I have been involved in were exclusive, nor any other fwb setups involving other friends in the scene.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    My opinion lies with that of MsJonesy.
    No mention of exclusivity at all.


    On the other hand, it can and does still exist...And yes, open relationship AND a FWB wins over sliced bread!

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I absolutely love the FWB relationship. I've had a few over the years, and I have a couple right now. They are the coolest women I've ever met, and even after the benefits stop, I would like to remain friends with them.

    I've chatted with you before Em, you seem pretty nice. You'll find one for sure.

    Just my two cents, I hope it helped 🙂

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I've been online for a very long time and I've been looking to meet a guy for an ongoing FWB yet for some reason it seems their are no guys interested in the same thing. Yes I'm attached but I'd love to find a guy for an ongoing friendship and fun... my hubby is aware and gives me all his support in finding someone. I'm not sure iff its really possible to find a FWB. Do guys still look for the same or is it a case of guys being worried that I'm attached because if they are thet shouldnt be because I could blow FWB infront of hubby and hell hand you a beer.

  • black_lace

    black_lace

    4 years ago

    Fwb confuses me because I’ve met guys who say fwb but then they don’t want to do things that friends do.


    For example you go lunch, movies, all sorts of things with your friends. Do that and include play dates is what I think fwb is or should be. But if all you want is to catch up occasionally for a play date then I think that’s more of an arrangement and not fwb.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Much more interested in enjoyable time with a FWB than a F buddy. Things shouldn't be so complicated...its a short life we have.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Fwb without the friends bit is just a booty call (IMO).

  • 2inBrisbane

    2inBrisbane

    4 years ago

    but it really does require real open honest communication... and all to often people aren't prepared to be really honest.
    I've been lucky enough to have a couple of FWB dynamics, but I've also had several that I've had to walk away from because it very quickly became apparent that the other person wanted more than I was able to commit to even though I was very clear about what I was able to provide.
    I"m sure there are more out there -- I'm happy to wait until the right ones come along because my life style doesn't support anything more than I"m cognisant of being able to offer
    AJ

  • non_such

    non_such

    4 years ago

    We can all argue here about the difference between FB and FWB but that's because we are trying to fit within perceived norms of behaviour which are evolving.
    This year I was introduced to the concept of Relationship Anarchy: any two people, or more than two, can define their relationship on their own terms, without having to accept any external rules or definitions. That relationship can include friendship, sex, intimacy, affection and even love; but can be consensual and non-monogamous. It only needs to be founded on open, homest and authentic communication.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I firmly believe you can still be FWB and they do still exists. I have a fb at the moment and we simply catch up for just that and company.... no feelings attached whatsoever and we actually get along well.... well I think so. I went into it though knowing I didn’t want anything else and he had made that clear too on his profile so it felt easy to just accept that and have great sex and a good time.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    4 years ago

    Think they want someone, but reality is they are emotionally unavailable and don't really know what they want. Which makes it difficult for those who are emotionally available . It sure is a mine field finding someone who is a right fit. 😝

    Ms Foxy

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    4 years ago

    People who do that are not in the right head space and are emotionally unavailable. Most times it is just a shag they want without the complications or effort of a friendship. Funny they can make time for shag but not for a coffee/drink catch up. A high quality woman won't put up with that. 😊

    Ms Foxy

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I definitely think fwb is alive and real and well certainly is for me and I’m sure many others . I have a couple of great fwb one of which has been for some time and Definitely it goes deeper than a hookup or a one night stand and certainly involves feelings and a connection with that other person but it’s where you are still both able to maintain that great sex and connection but without all the baggage that comes with a relationship . I think a lot begin as a hookup and then develop into fwb but I prefer the ongoing fwb
    It’s almost like the claytons relationship ( the one you have when your not having one)and can be powerful and wonderful without going into the whole needy side that seems to come with a full on relationship as such .

  • emmy128

    emmy128

    4 years ago

    Thanks for the feedback, love that we have women also commenting on their successful fwb situation, helps my optimistic nature. This application ensures there are more honest people indicating what their likes and dislikes are. For me this fwb is what I will personally persue. Sorry people who are experiencing the “kick back” from other dating apps, it’s rude and disgusting I always pay my own way as I never want to be type cast. Don’t stress I’ve had my fair share of ghosting for coffee dates to establish if we had the chemistry/personality “click.” I know I’m very open, I don’t have a huge ridiculous check list but I will not go with a man already in a relationship, it kind of ruins the spontaneity when the mood strikes or dirty weekends away. Respect others own relationships that work for them but for now I’d prefer a single man.

  • Sensual_play

    Sensual_play

    4 years ago

    A FWB is harder to find than a ONS. there has to be connection and mutual intentions.

  • Sensual_play

    Sensual_play

    4 years ago

    Damn I get fingered a reply too early...

    The FWB I have/had all have enjoyed the uncomplicated nature of enjoying each other's company yet having seperate lives. We usually have mutual desires to explore and what better to do that than with a trusted friend 🙂

    In my case I think it is reassuring becuase I have a wife and they also get along very well with her. (No not in that way lol). They have all remarked in how clean cut and simple things are. Ni murky waters. From what I hear is that some attempts for finding FWB is that jealousy/control issues creep in and that drives my friends nuts... they hate it. So would I.

    Just got to find the right friend who gets it.

    Good luck 🙂

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I do believe men and Women can be FWB, but strongly believe there have to be boundaries set. I've had a few FWB over the years, some have worked amazingly ... like sex on tap really 😂 and others feelings have been misplaced and the lines blurred.
    It is hard for some guys to believe that Women aren't looking for a relationship we just want sex, I myself have encounter many like this 🙄.
    But i think communication is the key, so long as you both set out the intentions and discuss what each of you want it to be, then it can work and fill that void that you both need!!! Let's face it everyone needs sex (some more often than others 😉) and sometimes you don't want to talk etc you literally just want to meet up, have sex then leave and go about your business!! 😈🔥
    I hope you find another one soon X

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Nothing’s wrong with that at all. As long as you have made your intention clear, 🤙🏻

  • Renegades

    Renegades

    4 years ago

    They certainly do exist. A FWB situation works a lot better for me. I much prefer to have a connection with someone rather than just be a quick fix. My wife much prefers if I have a connection with my partner's and will occasionally want to have a connection with them herself. Keeps everything open, honest and transparent.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    😚😎

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    HiI think sometimes people confuse in their own minds what they want..... and when they find what they thought they were looking for..... it doesn't quite seem the same.We looked for a FWB primarily for my GF for sometime..... most replies were from single guys just wanting a quickie.... in their defense we are at the older end of the scale so most were just not interested in anything else.
    Slightly off topic, but along the same lines we did take a middle aged man (friend of a friend) as a short term border whilst he was on secondment to our town. The second night we had a few drinks and later we at it on the dungeon floor..... that was the best arrangement we have ever had.... no strings... if I (male) wasn't about she would make good use of him... the rest of the time we played all together....or just her and I. It was the best FWB arrangement and we both loved it.
    Alas after 3 months he was transferred back home...we still keep in touch and are planning a visit soon.

  • cute_and_fit

    cute_and_fit

    4 years ago

    I think FWB or NSA suit people at a certian point in time, people and circumstances change over time so sometimes something that worked 12 months ago does work now.
    That being said, FWB works if you are both on the same wavelength and enjoy each others company. It really doesnt work if the other partnert cant string 2 sentances together or you cant chat about anything in common inbetween. I find this really kills FWB's more than anything as its more than a ons.

  • smooth_gal

    smooth_gal

    4 years ago

    I think FWB is the best thing ever but getting our timings right is a challenge as I do have a lovely excellent FWB in Perth though now he has a gf but we still stay in touch and no idea what's gonna happen with my coming trip to Perth but always keep an open mind as even if we don't end up in bed least I got a good mate from RHP.

    Though I do have a FWB back in Malaysia whose russian for past 10 yrs and we we still hook up whenever we meet although we don't think about it but it just happens and later we can still have a glass of wine and catch up.

    It's not easy but I rather have FWB as it's the best without the hassle of commitments but w do share a connection and feelings which makes it all the more special. Not all girls wanna have a full on relationship as we might have it already but still wanting more fun just as long it's not hurting anyone while we have our fun 😉

    By the way if you are in Perth drop me a note as be nice to have friends with the same mind set as heading there next month and surprisingly I miss Australia 💕

  • Onceinlifetime

    Onceinlifetime

    4 years ago

    We are keen to have FWB, friend(s) to hang out with, have some drinks n laugh, dine out, do outdoor activities together, have a bit of intimate play and still keep in touch, meet up few times a year....
    Let's get connected😉

  • LukeItIs

    LukeItIs

    4 years ago

    I’ve had a fwb relationship going on for a good 3-4 years now. Its never been anything more or less. We both equally love sex, being naked and everything inbetween. Every 1 or 2 months we would get together and have the most amazing sex. From the first time, right up to now its been amazing. We have a connection in the bedroom that most ppl would only dream of.
    Anyway, my point is. It really is hard to find singles or couples to have that connection / relationship with. But it is out there. Those guys your looking for are out there. I know, cos I’m one of them and this is only just one of my experiences. If you really do want to find someone then open yourself up and be open to someone you wouldn’t normally be open to. You might be very surprised.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Brilliant question, but is it just Emma that you want someone who will be cool to keep the status quo and not be hurting anyone? Or is it you just want to bypass the dating scene and ONS crowd for something akin to commitment without cost?

    Feelings develop because we are human, probs why you want another FWB?

    But would you need a monogamous partner or would you share?

    There are plenty of people who appear online looking for someone. Some come here with stories to keep their existing lives away, because of kids spouses jobs or notoriety, does that make them cheaters? Yes or no? Got to be better than hooking up with your sister-in-law or wife’s bestie. Not that I have done either by the way. And if they were married or cheating, does that make them unsuitable for who you are chasing or would it be better they promise they’re starved of affection in a loveless marriage- his wife can’t or won’t have sex with him - or he’s separated and going to divorce her?

    Oh the tangles of entanglement. Emma, I’d offer myself as a FWB for you, and thats just for the discussion your question sparked.

    Just remember, good things come to those who wait they say...but not on a guest membership lol.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I play with couples as well as single guys.. yes I am am one of those mythical species of Unicorn 🦄.. I’ve had several single guys as FWB’s over the last couple of years & really enjoy having the ability to be completely transparent about what I’m seeking.. I love catching up for drinks or dinner & then great sexual dessert... I think maybe I have a big sexual appetite because I have had the feeling sometimes that some guys think because I want to catchup again it must be due to catching feelings for them... rest assured it’s generally due to having a hungry pussy 😉... those that I know I’m at risk of getting feelings for will be told that & if it’s not reciprocated then I catch & release... just love great sex with fun people 😇

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Interesting posts... my 2 cents.. i believe fwb starts with friends first and then what follows. If benefits start first, it mostly ends up coming towards the ‘hookup’ side of things. But yeah, keeping feelings aside is a rare thing.

  • funwithfriend484

    funwithfriend484

    4 years ago

    Hi . Fwb can be tricky. We can be tricked into thinking the friend wants the same thing only to find they want more. Feelings will always creep in if there's respect and honesty given by both. Fwb is a relationship but finding the friend that understands what goes with this kind of relationship is rare. For those who have experienced a true fwb like myself will know that its out there. Those who have thought that they had a fwb may be somewhat a non believer that it can happen. But believe me it does and its great when you're in one.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I think that there are so many options and a mans dream is to have a lady that’s looking for a FWB however you should consider long distance as it’s guarantee

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Sure is such a thing. U gave to find the right person tho. lm keen on friendships first and good respectable attitudes towards each other and not just sex but if we r bored maybe hang out or watch movies etc Hooefully u can relate to this

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Looking for women

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Emmy and foxy I’m with you girls. Makes for better sex if you are friends as well. Have a fwbs in the past where we occasionally chat on the phone, send random messages but not in each other’s pockets but when we do hang out we have a lot of fun and great sex. Some of these have gone on for years without either of us getting the feels. A couple of others haven’t worked out as well. I am always honest with what I want and What I have to offer and Hopefully I’ll find one or two more of those.

  • greeny71

    greeny71

    4 years ago

    I think Friends is the key part of the equation and like Koko’s thought about not longing for them.
    Being friends hanging out one on one, not socialising too broadly but also knowing you can come up behind them and help them lift up their skirt to slide off their undies.
    I travel a lot so having some distance between is also a great way to keep it friendly first and still enjoy the intimacy a couple of times a month.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    HI THERE CAN WE CHAT SOMETIME MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP WITH YOUR FWB SHORTAGE

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    CAN I AUDITION

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I would love to find a Fwb with somebody but nobody seems to be interested in a nobody like me

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Hi im in if u ate

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    With full respect I would consider most ladies I see are a FWB. We chat regularly nearly most days, yet may only catch up sex or sleepovers every two weeks. I tell them everything and we are honest to each other.

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    4 years ago

    a lady in sydney who'd like to meet a happy , clean , well presented , mannered , personable guy for a occasional uncomplicated liaison you could let me know.. Can't be any clearer than that.. lol My money is on deafening silence ?

  • Mask_007

    Mask_007

    4 years ago

    Very nice posts, well done .

    By the way,

    I am looking forward in to make new friendship, to a possible starting a fwb once again due to my friend moved overseas last week for a couple years.

    If you are interested please let me know.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I became close friends with a female work colleague when I started a new job a year ago and we are indeed FWB, hubby has joined us and we all play together every month or so. There is no relationship ‘love’ as such but we all care for each other and have fun when the mood or opportunity strikes. We are honest and open and affectionate with each other and we all like it that way. It is a much more secure arrangement than a one night stand situation because we share that level of trust and affection and we all satisfy each other’s needs. This is just how things work between us 3, other FWB relationships may have a completely different dynamic and that’s great too! But it suits us and it is a mutually satisfying arrangement for us. Don’t give up people, FWB do exist!

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I’ve found with FWB’s the women I’ve been with fall for me after 2 month’s or so . It can get tricky from there but I had a lot of fun and so did they win win 👌😉

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    4 years ago

    As long as you don't give off "the boyfriend experience" behavours, all should be good. 😉

    Ms Foxy

  • Obi1kenietzsche

    Obi1kenietzsche

    4 years ago

    I’m a legendary FWB.... no myth involved! 😂

    Obi1 xx

  • IamwhoIam952

    IamwhoIam952

    4 years ago

    I reckon that when 2 people start a FWB relationship, regardless of how emphatically they both agree that's all it is going to be, we can't control human physiology. Assuming that for most people there has to be some level of attraction/connection to start with it would be reasonable to assume that great sex will heighten that 'attraction' which in turn will improve the 'great sex' which in turn heightens the 'attraction further....an so on. While it may not affect both to the same level it is reasonable to expect one party to the FWB relationship will want to take it 'to the next level' at some stage.

  • JustForFun3350

    JustForFun3350

    4 years ago

    FWB definitely not a myth.

    My now ex partner is currently my FWB and honestly, I think we've found the state that works best for us.

    In truth we met on AMM, looking for that but we just sort of connected in a different way. My ex wife caused a lot of problems and to her mind that's what ended the relationship. For mine, there were other problems, mainly that she never wanted to be out of her space, seldom came to my place, had no interest in moving in. So I'm not sure how we'd have ended up even without my ex.

    But the sex always was, and remains, awesome. We were morning and night for a solid eighteen months before we started to wind the clock back to something more sustainable.

    So yeh, it's really just a matter of finding someone who wants the same thing.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I have a fwb.

    She lives her life and i live mine. But we get together and have wonderful awesome sex sometimes.

    Not ot often as it makes it more the wantjng of each other more exciting.

    Both respect each other and happy what we got

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    FWB, i would say not many people are used to open/casual/poly/etc style relationships, its hard to explain how to find one but i would say cuddle sluts have the right mental orientation for mutual satisfaction without having monogamy hangups

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    4 years ago

    It amused me the guys claiming to have 2 or 3 FWB on the go ? If true ' do you really need to be here looking for more .... 😆 lol...

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